morton Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 Listen to books on tape to help cope with long commutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Listen to books on tape to help cope with long commutes. I find it hard to stay focused on the story with books on tape. I listen to podcasts for my commute. When you're house cleaning leave the fan on your HVAC system running and brush the grill to your return duct so all the dust gets ducked into the filter instead of falling to the floor and creating more of a mess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 if you see blood in your urine, go to the doctor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 I find it hard to stay focused on the story with books on tape. I listen to podcasts for my commute. I only listen for the highway portion, navigation or negotiation will certainly make the plot or development disappear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toiletseat Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 i cant concentrate on audiobooks while im mastrubating on the highway 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boodah Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 Shoot darts, eat shot glasses Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~KRYLON2~ Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Smoke a 40 and drink a blunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deine Mudder Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 ..some gems from the first 10 pages of this thread.. Disregard females, Acquire capitol. put on your g-string backwards and call it a poop hammock... don't pick your nose on a bumpy road Don't eat yellow snow do graff in nerd clothing Dont pull on girls hair during sex when they have extensions in, as funny as it is. never read the bible. never go to church. if at all possible, try to add satan in your life meth and shaven balls make you go faster 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boodah Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 don't fuck a mexican goat whore until you ask her who her daddy is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deine Mudder Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 more tip: don't be a lemming Don't ignore common sense, even if it seems to go against your party. money > weed > a lot more shit > bitches Never give your information to anyone in Africa offering you millions of dollars. Ian's Shoelace Site - Bringing you the fun, fashion & science of shoelaces if she lets you finger her asshole in front of your friends at the stripclub, dont marry her beat it everymorning so you dont think about sex for the rest of the day ^That does not work for me. Here is another misguided path I walked down during a slow stretch with the ladies; going without masturbation until achieving the real thing. If you go 6 weeks with out letting one fly you are not going to be much of a stallion when the deal goes down. Oh well, I gave her the best 60 seconds of her life. have the best way to get laptops! Not from a store and not home invasion! Its to fuckin easy, lets just say they give you the laptop! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 If you can't afford an alarm system find someone who has one and snatch the alarm co. sign from them, post in your own yard. Instant security upgrade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deine Mudder Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 more 3-d Imax movies are usless when drunk If you can't impress em with facts, baffle em with bullshit check how much toiletpaper there is before shitting. When you're in class, sit next to a girl and start to draw. Shell probably notice and want to lick your balls dont get mad, dont give a fuck. MY DICK IS CLEANER THAN THE FLUSH HANDLE Also draw mustaches on people in the newspaper. It's a stress reliever. don't take lsd and take the fucking greyhound for 9 hours... if your shoes smell. treat your feet not your shoes if you were alive in 2006 you are one of the many recipients of Time magazine's Person of the year award. in 2006 time magazine gave "everyone" the award while making their cover as close to a mirror as possible. be sure to mark it on your resume. if you think it is, it probably is. shes not going to call you back i was at a bar saturday night seeing a band and the AC wasn't on so it was hot as hell. i put my empty beer bottle in my back pocket and hung my coat off of it. when you jack off, leave the door unlocked. it makes for a better orgasm if someone walks in mid sploosh on another note: if you run into a girl and you feel theres an automatic mutual attraction, ask for her number. no matter how awkward, even if the only thing you shared was a smile. i ran into a real cute blonde yesterday after i smoked a blunt. got the fuck me eyes, didnt ask, and its been bugging me ever since. she was looking at your bloodshot eyes. it probably didn't happen in slow motion either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 If your shoes stink because they're getting old or whatever, put them in a plastic bag & into the freezer for an hour- kills all the germs/bacteria that are making them stink. Like said above though, wash yo feets! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Schnauzer Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 Always do take out and leave a couple menus in your car of near by spots so after you pick up shorty u can bring her to your place getting them over is half the battle. Never tell people how much money u have flexing isn't cute and will cost u. When u go out to meet women never go alone bring one or two friends always better when its women friends they will naturally draw in other women. After dating a girl for a while its important to have checks and balances. Wet Wipes are great keep them clutch for getting rid of the duck butter: when sweat and goo builds up between thigh and balls 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DETO Posted April 10, 2018 Share Posted April 10, 2018 AUDIO BOOKS SUUUUCK. I NEED MUSIC WHILE I'M TRAVELING, BUT THE WIFE ALWAYS TURNS THE VOLUME DOWN SO WE CAN TALK AND SHE GETS BUGGED WHEN I TURN IT BACK UP. BUT TRUTHFULLY ALL I EVER HEAR ON ROAD TRIPS IS THE SOUND OF CARTOONS COMING FROM THE BACK SEAT BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER WON'T KEEP HER HEADPHONES ON UNLESS SHES ON HER IPAD... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted May 10, 2018 Share Posted May 10, 2018 (edited) Never slip and fall in a dildo factory. Edited May 10, 2018 by Guest 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 AUDIO BOOKS SUUUUCK. I NEED MUSIC WHILE I'M TRAVELING, BUT THE WIFE ALWAYS TURNS THE VOLUME DOWN SO WE CAN TALK AND SHE GETS BUGGED WHEN I TURN IT BACK UP. BUT TRUTHFULLY ALL I EVER HEAR ON ROAD TRIPS IS THE SOUND OF CARTOONS COMING FROM THE BACK SEAT BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER WON'T KEEP HER HEADPHONES ON UNLESS SHES ON HER IPAD... When writers get old....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Schnauzer Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 When writers get old....... I’m not old and I watch Curious George and Paw Patrol with my Son on the regular I’m not even thirty yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misteraven Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 You new jacks: some gems in here so go back and read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Schnauzer Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Buy multiples one for Gym bag traveling bag work bag and one for car if you like pussy or get pussy regularly than it’s obvious you keep a clean mouth. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Schnauzer Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 If you like pussy you also gotta keep them nails short. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freakeenyc Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Google translate can help u converse in real time with a lot of languages and if u take a pic of something it can automatically translate and superimpose the translation on the image Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 Being half drunk while going through airport security has a 90% success rate at getting it done faster. If you're flying longer distance and stuck next to someone unaware of personal space, getting absolutely shit faced and passing out drooling is a good strategy. They'll often have magically relocated when you wake up in a half hour. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luhem Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 Place a couple squares of toilet paper into the bowl before going poo - this eliminates poop water splash back 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 I tried that and my dense logs just torpedo through the protective paper layer. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Wash your hands frequently, at minimum 20 seconds, hot water preferably. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnitzel Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 you keep on baiting that mouse trap until it stops pulling in the little fuckers 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 If you run out of lotion you can masturbate with tabasco sauce, which also provides a warming sensation. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 If you think your asshole is delicate and special you're tempted to buy ultra soft toilet paper for a luxurious experience. Don't do it. You'll end up with ass dreadlocks made out of butt hair and tp dingle berries. Go for the ultra strong charmin. Haven't had my delicate ass scraped up once by it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Schnauzer Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 Nose hairs are also gross I wax mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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