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redeyedanimal

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redeyedanimal last won the day on October 4 2014

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  1. AAAAaaaaannnnnd it's gone… I think. :thumbsdown:
  2. Damn. It's like a resurrection in this thread. That's, strangely, exciting. As was said in another thread, "i don't write my made up name on things that aren't mine anymore" but I got some good laughs on this site. I still go back to the OH Shit thread sometimes, still makes me laugh like a child. What's good everybody!
  3. called it how he saw it, and he was right. I am looking into inpatient treatment now. My brain is my biggest enemy, it can change itself from moment to moment, and without help I will not be able to get out of this fog. It's really fucking scary, and I'm not ashamed to say that I am scared to make a change like this in my life. But, for this addict, it's either I ask for help or off myself like a coward. I'd rather man up and ask for help. I like to think there is strength in asking for help when feeling weak. This lifestyle sucks. If you are just starting to drink, and wonder if you have abnormal drinking patterns, STOP BEFORE IT GETS WORSE, whatever you have to do. Thanks to everyone here for reading my bullshit throughout the years and showing me my own fucked logic. Hopefully my posts after I come home will seem more positive, and focused. *edit - the possibility of being able to open my own business made me realize that, in this mind state and with these habits, I will absolutely fail. I need a clear mind….
  4. The lady and I are actually taking a bit of time to do this for each other, to see if we are the major sources of each other's stress. We still love each other but we drive each other batshit crazy at the same time. I'm excited to be able to devote myself to my craft again, have an opportunity to open a spot of my own if I make the rights moves and keep my game up with these people. I feel as though I have lost all passion for all things, and need some time to make me who I am and who I should be.
  5. Looks like he used a curry spice blend. I've had a couple that were surprisingly good, from an asian market.
  6. Still trying to be honest with myself. I apologize to everyone I exploded towards in my drunken stupor, especially you POZ. Fuck benzos. I had no idea...
  7. That's a really cool idea, bro.
  8. Everytime I post in here, POZ is the first fucker to respond with something halfway calling me out, but never actually with the balls to come out and say shit. That pisses me off, which makes me want to drink, which will take me back into a shitty place in my life. FUCK YOU POZ. I will not return, this thread is no longer a healthy place for me to be, and neither is this site. Most everyone else, best wishes. Again, FUCK you POZ. Grow some fucking balls, then proceed to suck on your own balls to keep that diarrhea from coming out your mouth. Deuces /yesmad. /notdrinking, you don't win.
  9. I hear some of the truck stops in Europe, especially Italy, are really nice. Real food, real hospitality, they value their truck drivers more than Americans do.
  10. ^correct for AA, I don't know about NA though, only been to a handful of NA meetings a few years ago. Been to hundreds of AA meetings, the ones I went to tried very hard not to use the word GOD because some people (like myself) immediately stop listening after they hear that word. Higher power is more broad, more easily relatable, and more easily changed. It can be anything. Haven't been here for a while because i've been drunk. Today is day three without. Again. Hope y'all are being smarter than me. And never forget, wonk saggin.
  11. I'm GLAD this thread has slowed down. THere is a lot less cirle-jerking faggotry and more real shit, less hype more work. maybe one day I'll post another pic...
  12. Dear oontz, I have changed my attention to sites that further my knowledge of things that can make me money. Maybe when I am not broke again I will have time to revisit you,p but for now, peace out. Red
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