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Dear ________,


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Dear me,

 

stop being such a soft touch and giving in.

 

-me

 

 

 

Dear birthday boy,

 

quit it, it's not your birthday for another 6 days!

 

-me

 

 

Dear people who lie,

 

the truth will always out.

 

-grd

 

 

Dear Android,

 

your keyboard confuses me, boy not so much

 

-me

 

Dear dears of the dear thread,

 

I hope you all have an awesome Saturday!!

I'm meant to be decorating, I'm on a schedule, I've decided I'm not going to let that stop me from going out and getting utterly wasted tonight. I had 12 hours sleep last night and I can't decide if I feel awesome or crappy so the only way to tell for sure is to wake up tomorrow with a monster hangover for comparison.

 

- grdinnit

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dear whoever gives a fuck,

 

I dont know if any of you have ever lost somebody that was so fucking significant to you and your life, and you probably wont give a crap about this since im a nobody to you but

 

i lost my grandmother on st. patricks day 4 months ago, she died in her room, across from mine after i stayed up for many hours crying by her side and telling her i love her and she can go if she feels like it. she was my BEST FUCKING FRIEND. ive never loved anybody more in my life and i cant get over this!!! okay. she showed up to court literally a few days after i was born to take custody over me because my mom was on meth and my mother didnt even show up, so my grandma got me. best thing ever to happen. she was on my side for all of life no matter what shit i go into, she is the sweetest most caring and loving and honest person i knew. she was even fucking “in” with my whole i wanna break the law an paint walls deal. yeah obviously she didnt want me to get caught but shed point that shit out, shed call me if she passed something i did just to tease me. i love her. man she was so cool.

 

Hospice came to check her out, she was in good shape one week before her passing, two days later as im getting my hair done, they tell my bf that she has hours to a couple days left. are u serious? im out getting my hair done when my best friend is n bed dieing?? i feel like shit. total peice of shit. that night, in an out of going thru the tunnel of light im sure, she opens her eyes wide, big green beautiful eyes, i swear ive never seen her eyes this bright in my life… i tell her i love her, repeatedly. she said it back. SHE SAID IT BACK. if u dont know, at this point in time, if somebody is dieing, lots of time they dont come back to, especially not able to talk still. now fuck, im telling her she can go cus im so tired of watching her breaths being 30 seconds apart and knowing shes in pain, but im really dieing inside saying im so fucking selfish, please dont leave me. please, i cant do life with out u. crying crying and crying. breaths now 45 seconds apart and short. shes not even coming back now, theres no taking her to the hospital, its going to be over soon :(. as much as i knew she wanted to just go, i didnt want to let her. i tell her she can go. i lay down with the baby monitor next to my face just listening. huge migraine and so tired. i finally fell asleep, i woke up an hour later an hear nothing. i jump up and run in there, i hold her hand and its cold. im just staring at her face. she wasnt even there anymore. she looked so peaceful but i hated it. my heart aches so horribly bad. every single day. this is the woman who raised me an taught me to be a smart beautiful strong woman and i took care of her and told her no matter how my life was, id take care of her till the end of time. i never wanted her end of time to be at age 66.

 

i hate my life lately. i feel like ive seriously gone crazy. id give up everything i have, i cant even fucking explain what id do just to have her back. i knwo she doesnt want to be here in pain or suffering but i just dont feel like i can go on sometimes. please let there be a heaven so her soul goes to somewhere she deserves to be. i am so unhappy right now. i cant ever stop crying, i need medication, i want to step out of reality so i can stop fucking hurting.

 

i lost you, i have no money, i have no car, i have no friends, i have no job, i have no life, i have no insurance, i have nothing. all i want is you. you were my guide. you were my best friend. i love you so much and i just need you back. fuck my life i dont know what to do. how do people deal with this?

 

 

-steezles

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steez,

 

my best friend from middle school killed himself on st patties day, drunk. Had an 18 month old child, a sister with a newborn, and was the pride of his parents' lives.

I recently spoke with his mother, she still visits his grave every night at dusk and talks to him, but recently she went a day without going and said a prayer at home instead.

It fucking sucks to lose a loved one, especially when they are way younger than they 'should' have been.

But one day at a time, the issues and concerns and worries and guilt will lighten to a point of being bearable.

And then one day you will catch yourself celebrating the good times you had, the strength that was shared, and you will be happy reminiscing rather than mentally collapsing because she is gone.

And not to be cliche, but would she rather see you in the state that you are in, or would she want to to pick yourself up, dust off, and find strength and motivation to go on?

I hope you can find the strength, courage, and wisdom to make the best out of a bad situation, and i wish you the best.

Long rant from a stranger i know, but this is for the fallen homies. (pours out a little liquor...)

 

-red.

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Thank you you guys...

 

Ive been working on it day by day, im sure it just doesnt feel like its working because its still so fresh you know. My life has changed so much in the passed four months. I feel like i have super increddibly bad anxiety now too.. shits hard to deal with.

 

I like this thread because no matter when i feel like ranting about anything, i can come here an get a little help. so Thank You for listening :)

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Dear Steezy,

I know I can never relate to what you're going through with the loss of your grandmother, however, I know I soon will because my grandmother is not in the best physical and mental state. I know it may seem like a stretch if you're not a religious person, I'm not religious myself but I found sometimes it does help to have a little faith and pray. I'm sure your grandmother would want you to keep your head up and would like to see you live your life happy. Just promise us and most of all her that you wont let this feeling of unhappiness take you down, you can only keep going up after you've been through it all..

 

Hope you feel better girl and I'm all ears and eyes,

Seyer

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Guest Ginger Bread Man

Death, is a fact of life which we must respect and embrace in much the same way we do a new born. Sounds awfully silly on my part, however, time is defined by moments, often, very difficult to deal with; affording us just the right opportunity to reflect, analyze and learn. If, however, we grant any situation more than the necessary for ourselves, life in effect no longer has the same meaning as no new memories or opportunities are being generated; in effect we are at a stand still, a moment which means nothing.

 

Once the grieving process <as such is the case here> is complete, and having alloted the time, energy and tears required for ourselves, it becomes readily clear the path we must take, albeit for some, not the best path.

 

I realize this is your grandmother <mother, comming from your words> and by no means am i encouraging you to listlessly forget her, however, I am a reminder that living feels good, that the sun has shone brightly for millions of years, and that although at times, the pain and sadness inhibits our ability to sense that warmth upon our faces, it will only after extinguishing, stop.

 

Some say that a piece of themselves has died, if this is true then this person has begun to die as a finger cannot live without the necessary arm through which blood flows. If anything, death should be thought of as a new beginning, the perfect opportunity to not lose a limb, but to acquire a new one; that is a renewed sense of vigor and energy, lest we become dead.

 

 

-Antwone Spades

 

TLDR- i took the time and effort to concise my thoughts, you should take the time to read them.

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Dear Dear ________Thread,

Sitting here readingthis in my weak state of mind lately almost brings a tear to my eye because i know we're a bunch of jackasses in here but when it comes down to it-you all can be so sincere. You're sincerity has pushed me through some things and hopefully for Steezy it will help even if its just a place to come to vent. I miss 12 oz -and often times Channel 0 shenans-i'll return,i'm sure.

 

Steezy-head up sister. Stay strong. I am awful at offerning words at times like this but am very envious in a way that ive never felt a love like you have described towards your grandma with my grandma/mom/dad...relatives in general. With the obvious exception for my child.

 

Recluse,

Listen to RED.

 

To anyone else,

Happy missed/belated birthdays...

I miss yas.....

Good night...

Good morning...

And alladat good stuff

 

Love

lOve

loVe

lovE

 

SM

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hi steez.

 

death has affected me in many ways

the hardest was my mom

my dad doesn't think it gets any easier over time, but seeing how he's changed i think the impact and effect can be lasting but it does diminish. i didn't bawl on mother's day this year but it's still the worst day of the year for me.

 

i've tried to come around to that way of thinking: that death is part of the natural progression, that life can be joyful and amazing but it also full of suffering and difficulties that seem endless.. memento mori yknow? do what you can to the best of your abilities and keep your head above water

it'll come for all of us one day

 

!@#$%

 

 

 

you,

 

why is the energy level still so low? maybe i gotta get acupuncture again

don't waste the energy you do have on stuff you know will be fruitless

get a little more selfish

be a little more self-serving..

 

!@#$%

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dear friends daughter who ive known all her life,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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did i ever tell you that you are awesome?

 

 

 

 

sincerely elis.

 

 

 

 

 

p.s you are awesome and the only person that understands the game of "things that look like faces"

 

 

 

p.s.s like i said last week "man that barn...that barn scares me...its got a unibrow"

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Dear Interviews

 

You went well I am happy, lets hope the second interview goes well next week, the money would be nice although the job is exactly what I like doing.

 

Decy

 

Dear Mum

 

Hope you are feeling better, sucks you got taken into hospital but I know you will be alright, I am on a mission to get some cash so I can come make sure you are fine when you come out on the weekend.

 

Loving son Decy

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