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Dear ________,

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Dear Russel Stover,

please tell whoever is ejaculating into your cordial cherries to please stop. thought i just bought an unfortunate batch at first, but the next time- same thing. im sure he can find another place to release his pleasure juice. thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Univrsity of Oregon,

i tihnk you made a bad decesion in letting Xhibit pimp your football jerseys. metal grating and helmet decals should be saved for a mini van driven by a nerdy asian. if you want my advice, go back to basics. youve alreaqdy exceeded the XFL absurdness.

 

 

 

 

let me save you the trouble

 

 

 

"dear edoggg,

dont create threads for ranting/venting. thanks, ________."

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Dear Marc Ecko,

i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your graffiti game turned out to be a joke among the "graff culture". im sure this is a shock, we all thought it would do very very well and be ultimatly respected, but alas we were all wrong. please do better market research before you release your next game to avoid being indefinatly mocked. or, just dont make any more games. or clothes. or shoes.

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they are. just not the jizzed cherries. but i can see why youd like those.

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Dear San Jose,

 

 

Stop buffing shit rediculously fast. That shot I did last weekend that got buffed within the 4 hours it took me to go back and take a picture? Yeah, that's fucking rediculous. How the fuck did that even happen. Do you have it out for me?

 

Love, iloveboxcars

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Dear ex girlfriend,

 

You should tell your fiancé that you have been regularly having sex with me and break off your engagement.

 

Sincerely,

 

*** **** aka ***_***** aka tarkin

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Dear Whoever is buying Russel Stover chocolates,

That is just too much. Maybe in 10-20 years you will also be buying from K Jewlers or whoever. Please. I eat snickers.

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Besides blabbidy blah blah blahd (aka I have been drinking)

Dear Peoples of 120z,

I am not a total hater. i swear. Also, I just smoked a cigarette while peeing - mid post, didn't wash. But what I really wanted to tell you is that my friend moved very far away and I send emails to him, now and then. More now than then. They might begin, ________,

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Dear girl i want to fuck hella bad,

 

Why are you saving your virginity until you are married?

 

Dear girls who save your virginity for marriage... that's how you bitches end up old maids.

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Dear Zerocool,

 

You're on the couch right next to me. We're gonna play some Wii Bowling. How's the beer?

 

EBPH

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Dear Prof. S,

 

The questions for this final are fucking retarded. Seriously, this is an incredibly well respected institution, and you've got me memorizing my answer for a question that begins: "Say you discovered a time machine..."

 

Fuck you Sincerely,

Mackfatty

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