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Dear ________,


suca

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Dear Russel Stover,

please tell whoever is ejaculating into your cordial cherries to please stop. thought i just bought an unfortunate batch at first, but the next time- same thing. im sure he can find another place to release his pleasure juice. thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Univrsity of Oregon,

i tihnk you made a bad decesion in letting Xhibit pimp your football jerseys. metal grating and helmet decals should be saved for a mini van driven by a nerdy asian. if you want my advice, go back to basics. youve alreaqdy exceeded the XFL absurdness.

 

 

 

 

let me save you the trouble

 

 

 

"dear edoggg,

dont create threads for ranting/venting. thanks, ________."

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Dear Marc Ecko,

i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your graffiti game turned out to be a joke among the "graff culture". im sure this is a shock, we all thought it would do very very well and be ultimatly respected, but alas we were all wrong. please do better market research before you release your next game to avoid being indefinatly mocked. or, just dont make any more games. or clothes. or shoes.

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Besides blabbidy blah blah blahd (aka I have been drinking)

Dear Peoples of 120z,

I am not a total hater. i swear. Also, I just smoked a cigarette while peeing - mid post, didn't wash. But what I really wanted to tell you is that my friend moved very far away and I send emails to him, now and then. More now than then. They might begin, ________,

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Guest R@ndomH3ro

Dear Dude on that show Man Vs Wild,

 

Stop being a puss and getting sick all the time, if only you remembered your SAS training. Also stop giving away secrets that people pay to learn

 

Love,

Sneak Survival School

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dear republicans,

 

thank you for ruining our earth, bringing the archaic values of religion into politics and destroying peoples lives with intolerant legislature. please continue reproducing and creating large families. i want as many of you around when the planet implodes.

 

regards,

boogie hands

 

or perhaps...

 

dear graffiti writers,

 

please stop taking yourselves so seriously. we write on shit that doesnt belong to us which puts us in the company of toddlers....and well...thats about it. it is very unlikely you will parlay any fame you gain into an art career and the girls you are currently pulling are semi retarded at best. i would suggest you start smiling a little more and realizing that while what you are doing is juvenile it is also fun as shit and should be treated accordingly.

 

p.s. - you are not a rapper. stop it.

 

all the best in the future,

boogie hands

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Dear Downtown Christmas shoppers,

 

I understand that you're excited about christmas, and feel the need to stop in front of macy's windows and gauk, but please, for the love of god, MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY WHEN I'M TRYING TO GET TO WORK/SCHOOL.

Thanks for your cooperation, and have a splendid holiday season.

 

Love Always,

catface

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