grd Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Dear Rolf, Everyone should listen to me all of the time, I'm always right y'know...always. -grd Dear Miss Symbols, that's nuts, have you asked why your house guest wasted a whole trip? -grd Edit: Dear sleeps, why are you being like this? You big meanie. -grd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 grd, during his stay here we've learned he's a gaping asshole so no, i've tried to limit my interaction with him as much as possible, plus i don't care. i feel like i already have the answer: he sucks. i really wanted to kick him out, but my man is too nice. !@#$% dear dears i have been having some crazy dreams lately and i'm really hoping they aren't prescient !@#$% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grd Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Dear Miss Symbols, gaping asshole made me choke on my tea :) Just try and hold on to the fact there's not long now and he'll be gone. Also, even though it's annoying Mr Symbols was too nice to boot him the upside is...you have one of the very few nice ones! I had a dream the other day there was a bird in my bedroom, I could even feel the displaced air as it flew past my head, it was terrifying. -grd Dear Dears, today I am mainly channeling Oscar the Grouch. I'm bored to tears of this NoTW stuff already and have way too many friends who are journalists who want to dissect every part of the story. Also, over this past week I've been continually proved right and instead of being happy I can gloat, it sucks and I'm annoyed with myself. My plan is to watch Ealing comedies, eat Cherry Garcia and drink red wine until I am of a cheerful disposition again. I hope you all have/are having/have had awesome days! -grdinnit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOOGLE? Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 dear ladypersongirlthingpersonfriendgirl.., why you always half naked round me when we alone?!? why we jus friend? you want no commitment or monogamy ..im just sayin i got no qualms with whatchin zombie movie while i tap it doggystyle like we always joke about.. sincerely elis das kidder p.s thanks for this one..oddly i found it in a blog i was pillaging today too p.s.s i think we need to put up more sombreros to make this more epic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 dear symbols... we can clearly see who wears the troosers in your hoose... dear Grd... i've had a shitey day. it's pished doon o' rain all day, i've had to babysit plumbers and tell them what to do, and i had to throw loads of shite oot my van into a big incinerator that smelt worse than a troop o' glasgwegians after a night oot on the pellets coke and bubbles... i am however not quite oscar the grouch for some reason... it may well be because i have been exercising more, i still have chabbs that make some weemin jealous and nipples like coffee stains... tomorrow's a different fuckin' game all together though... dear new car/wasp... i'm gonna hae you in a year, if no i'm gonna be feckin' ragin'... rolppppppppppppfffffffffft! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrasivesaint Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 dear rolf, that smelt worse than a troop o' glasgwegians after a night oot on the pellets coke and bubbles... lolque?? -jcags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 dear jim cagney... people from glasgow dwell on the west coast of Scotland... where they smell like shite at the best of times and when introduced to soap it can often result in death... they are easily recognisable by multiple scars on their coupons (faces) burberry hats, and full tracksuits that are worn from day to day regardless of wether they are attending court, a job interview or mc donalds for lunch with their large collection of illiegitimate children... it is highly recommended not to ever approach these people... if in doubt just google image "neds" you'll catch my drift... rolf the more you know... haggis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grd Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Dear Rolf, like coffee stains? Are you gonna bleach 'em? You should totally bleach 'em...and take flicks for day in pies! Poor weegies. -grd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 dear Grd... yeah they're big beats like... i dunno if bleach would do anything other than sting like fuck and turn the hairy bits green... when they're cold they go like cheese graters too... rolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grd Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Dear Rolf, I didn't mean house bleach, I wouldn't recommend you try that. If they can bleach arseholes I'm sure they must bleach a nipple or two though innit. -grdinnit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 dear grd... what the actual fuck? you bleach your bumhole? rolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Dear guy at my new job, I get it, you are top dog as shown by your petty and counterproductive assertions of authority. I have fully demonstrated that I understand this so can we please get down to actual work and not playing passive aggressive games? Dear Rolf, I always enjoy reading your posts but am not sure if you should sound like groundskeeper willy or one of the guys from trainspotting or what. Mortonski Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 dear morton... it's hard to put too fine a point on it... i would say that if you were ever to be unlucky enough to meet me then you would probably think i sounded more like the trainspotting boys than groundskeeper willie... i would probably argue with you but that's just because i'm a miserable prick... my pleasure at other peoples leisure ken? rolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrasivesaint Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 dear rolf, i always hear more of a Groundskeeper Willie/father from So I Married A Axe Murderer (aka Mike Myers doing his scottish accent) its funnier that way -jcags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micahhawaii Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Dear corona 24oz, Why do you smell like weed when I first pop you open? Alwaysyours, -borracho hawaii Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thealmighty... Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 dear pregnant friend you are a miserable bitch. thats why no one comes around anymore. it makes me laugh as you try to spread your miserableness to others. dear work this week went better than expected. dear brother and brothers girl get jobs you bums ...almighty... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soulkillers Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 dear almighty i miss u nh souls ps. we needs to drink yo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thealmighty... Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 dear souls lol dear headache go away almightyme Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soulkillers Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 dear almighty might headache means drink moar arrows souls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grd Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Dear Souls, you missed out on rainbow ice cream and gimpy tits -grd Dear grd, learn from previous experience and know better next time -grd Dear Dada, 27 years, about time you made an honest woman of her!! Congratulations!! -littl'un Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newer Bigger Better Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Dear psycho piece of shit liars, feel free to move on. NBB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micahhawaii Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Dear Modesto,ca, Why do you have to be so shitty?!!! Less heat more graffiti that is all. Tiredoftakingonlytrainflicksoner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newer Bigger Better Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Dear Micah, art show in Hayward tonight. Free beer and food. Holla. Nbb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micahhawaii Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Dear NBB, Who is throwing the show? Curiousoner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soulkillers Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 dear grd did you say gimpy tits? drunk ass souls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grd Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Dear Souls, I didn't say it. I repeated it ;) sober for now grd Dear dears, what an odd day, my bestie got attacked by a crazy woman with a hammer last night. Shes' doing okay, her hand is fucked, she has a balck eye and some cuts that needed stitches but all in all she was very lucky. I was going to buy her flowers this morning and bumped into my childhood sweetheart, it was super weird. I haven't seen him in about 10 years, he looks just like he did when we were teenagers, he still makes me a little weak in the knees hah Long story short, drinks with first boyfriend. Probably a bad idea but... /sentimentaloner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 dear Grd... was she due said fruit loop money... i could go into numerous stories of building sub contractors/workies/rug_dealers/people i know hittin' folk aboot the coupon with hammers... my mate took 4 year for it actually... also... how wierd was it seeing said childhood sweetheart? i met mines who fucked me over really really bad for years... granted a very small amount was my attitude, arrogance, and naivety my doing, but i felt she got a massive power trip oot o' takin' the piss oot me and knowing i couldn't and wouldn't really do too much because it was her... i feel as soft as my first shite now and i really should delete this... however i am drunk for the 14th day in a row and i'm really well past giving a fuck... batherd... (bothered...) PS... get yir minge oot the basin... ROFL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonCheadle Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Dear Italian festival taking up half my neighborhood, Why can't you let dogs in just this once? I hate walking around this mess, and I want to feed the pitbull some burgers. -Don C. and Iverson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thealmighty... Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 dear souls and grd gimp tits indeed. dear self open container bike rides...get on it almighty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eviltrailer77 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Dear wifey, I thought when we got together you where aware I am more Bob Ross than Bob Villa, more Norm Mac Donald than Norm Abram. If the new floors don't look exactly right remember they where put down by a smart ass painter, not an actual handy man. evil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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