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Christmas is cancelled


mr.yuck

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Well Mark, chance would be a fine thing, which is why I logged out of My "chancebordeaux" primary email address from the cloud as I am sick of playing the role of being a "Hard Target". 
 

So that is how I spent My Christmas so far, as I write this post at 8pm, and other than a call to My Mum for an hour who I didn't visit as she lives in the ghetto with desert heat and no sea breeze, I would rather remain parked up at City Beach as I have had to eat McDonalds twice in one day as I ran out of food in My van and nothing else is open.

 

So not only am I wishing to sever all links and memories of My past by signing out of My account that has all of My memories attached to it, it is also the result of living in a world whereby I am refraining from even posting on here as I struggle to contain My hatred and negativity towards the fact that I exist in this world completely alone with no real relationships beyond My Mother, this place and one friend who reached out to wish Me a happy Christmas. Even My brother, is more of My drug dealer that views Me as a client He can profit off of and since he hasn't answered any of the 5 calls I made to speak to him today he has no real role in My life as well.

 

So now I am relegated to My only hope in this world being the Lotto ticket I bought for a draw last week, as it represents the only possibility of Me ever experiencing a modicum of happiness in this world as I am going to spend as much time as I possibly can over the next few days sleeping or with My eyes closed just laying in My van doing nothing as I attempt to shut off from this world and the fact I exist as all things I have ever drawn or experienced any happiness from no longer exists as they are all tainted with the memory of a lying cheating cunt ruining them.

 

As for covid, it seems that I have become afflicted with some bug that has spawned inside of Me and is visible thru My flesh like I am either a lobster or a dung beetle as I seem to have been mined by soulless cryptominers of all that was once good and of value in this world, as their attempt to extract money from mining the living and turning them into what is best described as a corpse that is eaten by bugs being My place in this fucked up simulation.

 

I won't mention having to dig the axes out of My back from where I was cut in half or how I was once high and grabbed a torch that was plugged into the electrical socket and streamed a light into My upper thigh at once point such that it burnt a hole in My leg in an attempt to become "enlightened", as whilst it seemed like a good idea at the time I just l allowed Myself to be ripped a new arsehole as some centipede like bug infiltrated the wound and then proceeded to fill My bloodstream with metal such that I can't even have a wank these days without "the crown of thorns" essentially stemming from any pubic hair I have on My balls or At the base of My dick essentially depriving Me of any pleasure that doesn't come from viewing My balls as being 12 gauge shotgun shells with My cock as a cannon that if I pull it enough (all the result of My female avatar being taken from Me!) then I get to shoot a hole through My heart just like Bon Jovi sings about.

 

In short, fuck this world, fuck this universe, fuck existence, fuck creation, fuck personal identities as they are irrelevant and meaningless in the context of a creator who would give Me the fate of being the one to hold them accountable for fucking Me over in the way I have been these past 7 years, as the deadline for any chance of forgiveness being provided by Matthew Luke is now over with as existence itself is now the joke being experienced by Matthew Luke, as I am no longer going to be the butt of the joke as I get fucked to death given all value in this world beyond this place offering some degree of entertainment and conversation is dead to Me.

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6 hours ago, Mauler5150 said:

Well Mark, chance would be a fine thing, which is why I logged out of My "chancebordeaux" primary email address from the cloud as I am sick of playing the role of being a "Hard Target". 
 

So that is how I spent My Christmas so far, as I write this post at 8pm, and other than a call to My Mum for an hour who I didn't visit as she lives in the ghetto with desert heat and no sea breeze, I would rather remain parked up at City Beach as I have had to eat McDonalds twice in one day as I ran out of food in My van and nothing else is open.

 

So not only am I wishing to sever all links and memories of My past by signing out of My account that has all of My memories attached to it, it is also the result of living in a world whereby I am refraining from even posting on here as I struggle to contain My hatred and negativity towards the fact that I exist in this world completely alone with no real relationships beyond My Mother, this place and one friend who reached out to wish Me a happy Christmas. Even My brother, is more of My drug dealer that views Me as a client He can profit off of and since he hasn't answered any of the 5 calls I made to speak to him today he has no real role in My life as well.

 

So now I am relegated to My only hope in this world being the Lotto ticket I bought for a draw last week, as it represents the only possibility of Me ever experiencing a modicum of happiness in this world as I am going to spend as much time as I possibly can over the next few days sleeping or with My eyes closed just laying in My van doing nothing as I attempt to shut off from this world and the fact I exist as all things I have ever drawn or experienced any happiness from no longer exists as they are all tainted with the memory of a lying cheating cunt ruining them.

 

As for covid, it seems that I have become afflicted with some bug that has spawned inside of Me and is visible thru My flesh like I am either a lobster or a dung beetle as I seem to have been mined by soulless cryptominers of all that was once good and of value in this world, as their attempt to extract money from mining the living and turning them into what is best described as a corpse that is eaten by bugs being My place in this fucked up simulation.

 

I won't mention having to dig the axes out of My back from where I was cut in half or how I was once high and grabbed a torch that was plugged into the electrical socket and streamed a light into My upper thigh at once point such that it burnt a hole in My leg in an attempt to become "enlightened", as whilst it seemed like a good idea at the time I just l allowed Myself to be ripped a new arsehole as some centipede like bug infiltrated the wound and then proceeded to fill My bloodstream with metal such that I can't even have a wank these days without "the crown of thorns" essentially stemming from any pubic hair I have on My balls or At the base of My dick essentially depriving Me of any pleasure that doesn't come from viewing My balls as being 12 gauge shotgun shells with My cock as a cannon that if I pull it enough (all the result of My female avatar being taken from Me!) then I get to shoot a hole through My heart just like Bon Jovi sings about.

 

In short, fuck this world, fuck this universe, fuck existence, fuck creation, fuck personal identities as they are irrelevant and meaningless in the context of a creator who would give Me the fate of being the one to hold them accountable for fucking Me over in the way I have been these past 7 years, as the deadline for any chance of forgiveness being provided by Matthew Luke is now over with as existence itself is now the joke being experienced by Matthew Luke, as I am no longer going to be the butt of the joke as I get fucked to death given all value in this world beyond this place offering some degree of entertainment and conversation is dead to Me.


I saw this posted last night and it applies to all of us.

 

21E218E8-F4DE-49E5-8049-D85232F900DE.png

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My kids mom aka ex-wife let them give me two bags of chips for Christmas haha

 

Came up on some New Balances, a dope Northface Hoodie and some misc. 

 

My chick surprised me when she copped me this - 

 

 

 

The older I get the more I just appreciate seeing other people. Shot my brother a dope commissary package and copped him a jacket for when he gets out in a few weeks.

 

 

2023-12-24 20:20:18.444.jpeg

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Stay up Mauler

 

Everyone in my family was sick all week so we cancelled that side of family xmas. They were all better by today so my parents went over and chilled w grandparents, I am 4 hours north so I wento my gf's parents

 

ate their "homeade butter" and got the shits when I got home lol. They churrning some bullshit out in the country.

 

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Went and saw some of the family for the first year in a few, got to watch the Rugrats open gifts. Really that since of astonishment on kids faces is what it's about for me these days kids have a way of really putting that happiness in your heart when it's hard to find.

Really blessed and thankful I don't have any yet myself but I'm not closed to the idea, if I ever met a seedworthy mate.

Nice and warm where I'm at Soo that's cool, snow would be cool too though.

Overall life could always be better but I'm thankful for what I got and living in the land of the free.

Even got a surprise gift card to walmart from my aunty I'ma go blow on rusto.

IMG_20231225_160945881_HDR.jpg

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Peep the insanity that is my inlaws Christmas - my girl is one of five and her parents have a bunch of siblings, then there is this Filipino cultural thing were all kinds of people are "family" despite not being related. Everyone is great and I am blessed to be a part of this - but it is wild.

 

Saw my dad yesterday - dude didnt even get a present for my kids. Nothing changes haha

based on how I grew up, this scene at my girls family trips me out. 

 

 

 

2023-12-25 19:03:39.603.jpeg

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-Haven’t worked since July  due to injuries sustained at work. 
-denied work comp (lawyered up; next court date in a few weeks) 

-denied short term 

-Unemployment hasn’t kicked in yet (hold up in the system somewhere)

-long term finally kicked in Saturday (filed in October. There was a hold up in the system) 

-breast cancer scare (monitoring) 

-cervical cancer scare (all good) 

-the person I always formally complained about not working enough just got the promotion I was told I was getting last April since my evals were the highest in the facility. She is now my super  (promotions don’t happen until April but that’s cool) 

-haven’t seen my kid in a year and a half and she’s here now and I’m so fucking sick I haven’t hugged her yet 

 

I know there’s a silver lining. 


I welcome 2024 with open arms. 

 

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7 hours ago, fat ralphy said:

Peep the insanity that is my inlaws Christmas - my girl is one of five and her parents have a bunch of siblings, then there is this Filipino cultural thing were all kinds of people are "family" despite not being related. Everyone is great and I am blessed to be a part of this - but it is wild.

 

Saw my dad yesterday - dude didnt even get a present for my kids. Nothing changes haha

based on how I grew up, this scene at my girls family trips me out. 

 

 

 

2023-12-25 19:03:39.603.jpeg

 

Looks just thike the Christmas my inlaws have.  In the similar fashion your inlaws celebrate Christmas. 

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26 minutes ago, fat ralphy said:

@ndvit makes me

feel hella awkward dude - they are great people but I just am not used to this level of family. 

 

I hear ya - give a couple more seasons amd you'll get used to it.  The thing you'll probably not get used to is all the gift buying.  I still forget a few of them and buying gift cards at the last minute.  

 

But your holiday experience is a little different than most with additional family included that is not direct - that's something I would always feel awkward too year over year. 

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7 hours ago, SMdoubleXL said:

-Haven’t worked since July  due to injuries sustained at work. 
-denied work comp (lawyered up; next court date in a few weeks) 

-denied short term 

-Unemployment hasn’t kicked in yet (hold up in the system somewhere)

-long term finally kicked in Saturday (filed in October. There was a hold up in the system) 

-breast cancer scare (monitoring) 

-cervical cancer scare (all good) 

-the person I always formally complained about not working enough just got the promotion I was told I was getting last April since my evals were the highest in the facility. She is now my super  (promotions don’t happen until April but that’s cool) 

-haven’t seen my kid in a year and a half and she’s here now and I’m so fucking sick I haven’t hugged her yet 

 

I know there’s a silver lining. 


I welcome 2024 with open arms. 

 

I got laid off at my job back in the summer when we stopped getting blueprints for the last two months because the economy is butthole right now.

Just ran outta unemployment now I gotta go back to part time graffiti full time work instead of full time graffiti 😞

hopefully that works out for you and you achieve great health and stay blessed!

Edited by cancelculttourist
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