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Dear ________,


suca

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

dear girl i met in the bar

 

your spiel about wanting to tattoo last night was lame and a complete load

i regret giving you my number

you are boring and a liar

fuck off with your tampon made out of a muffin and cap made out of an old licence plate

no love

tango

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Life,

 

Looks like its time to get a part time job. Playing music part time is hard as fuck to organize without one steady band. The scene is so flooded with shitty musicians that it doesnt pay enough anymore. Its like wtf happened this summer I was making bank and I take a month off and I am about to make $90 for 3 hours of music? Fuck that not its not really worth my time anymore. This shit sucks what happened in one month!? God I hate shitty musicians...I am going to go to shows and start heckling fuckers because they suck protesting or something.

 

Signed...

AngryMusicanOner...

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear nachos,

I didn't think you and I would be crossing paths today, but as always, you are a nice suprise.

Maybe you and I could run away together.

And forget all our worries.

You don't have to give me an answer right now.

Think it over.

Love,

Your Soulmate

 

Dear Houston,

Brace yourself.

I am totally coming to crush kill destroy.

Stick-and-poke the night away.

Feel free to take care of me while I am with you.

I won't have much money, so whatever you can do will be appreciated.

Let's make Austin jealous.

Anxiously yours,

Vacation Bound

 

Dear roommates,

Get the fuck out.

Please.

You have worn out your welcome.

Let's take some time apart.

Six months sounds good.

I am tired of you and your messes and your laziness and unwillingness to be productive.

Stop waking me up in the morning.

I know you like to drink and paint all night...but we have to work and need sleep.

No Love,

Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Ass

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

dear car,

 

I saw a zip lock back on my front winshield and was like, "who the hell put cheese in my car?" As i got closer, it wasnt cheese, it was a ticket, for a parking violation.

 

And guess how much i had to pay..?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

$6.00

 

<-------

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

dear community college

It seems to me like our student/ institution for learning relationship is not working out. The thing is your really boring and I have a.d.d. I thought maybe I could overlook this aspect of our relationship but the desire to scratch my own eyeballs out from boredom, and the ridiculousness of your students is causing me to no longer pursue you as of right now. Maybe if my art teacher wasn’t such a yuppie circle drawing idiot I wouldn’t take such extreme measures but she is so you'll be happy to know I will no longer be attending your fine institution.

college drop out oner- Banana fish

 

Dear catface-

 

I always wanted a twin. Mainly because twins practically have the power to read each others minds and can impersonate each other without anyone knowing. I am all for that.

Sincerely- B. Fish

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Cali-

 

duh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hatori-

 

Armadillos are the #1 reason for tire blowouts in Texas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I made that up. But they will pop your tire.

I'm sorry but if I catch an armadillo, its mine.

 

 

 

----VAJ

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear MilkG/Sherock/FagHag/CrazyDrunkMuthaFuckerOner

 

I heart you. We wore matching shoes minus the lacing on yours.

Thanks for a great time, we must do it again. Getting humped in that cage by gay boys was fabulous.

 

<3

s

 

dear suki,

 

thanks for letting me feel you up and thanks for grabbing my boobs and ass. twas' a great time. you'll have to meet up with us in sf for some more romping.

 

shewizzle

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Oct.9, 2007.

 

You were awesome. I got to do everything I wanted....cash my check, find out I didn't have work after the dumb shit manager changed my shit. Full tank of gas, and then with all the free time I had I got to crush a yuppie chill spot. Thanks a million...

 

Br1R

 

Dear Full Tank of Gas,

 

Thank you.

 

Bruceoner

 

Dear Yuppies,

 

Please leave the graffilithy alone, it is not for you or your Marc Ecko impersonations...and please, don't drag Waster12 into it. That kid is dead and writing RIP Waster12 when you go over me...that doesnt excuse you from catching a bad one. So please, save the waterworks.

 

Bruceonerupskier.

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