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Dear ________,


suca

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dear childhood friend,

 

Call me up to borrow 5 bucks for a pack of

smokes, I fix your broke ass some lunch

and help you out with the cigarettes

you're tryin to tell me you made 20K

this week at work. Fuck outta here with that shit.

 

abcs

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dear 12oz,

 

what the fuck is good...? yea i know i aint been here for a while...

been tryin to handle my grown man ish instead of doing ignorant hoodrat shit all day..

still like twelve hundred in the whole but im slowly but surly workin my way up there..

i aint forget bout my fellow oontz brethren though... what i miss since i was gone...?

 

ya boy,

TailsOne..

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Dear Ikea... fuck you, fuck your fuckin' instructions and fuck your fuckin' doors...

 

you're fuckin' pish.

 

dear everyone...

 

don't ever think that buying something flatpack and then paying someone else to build it for you will save you money... because i can fuckin' assure it won't once you pay the poor cunt that you hire to build it...

 

dear liver...

 

i know i promised you a night off. but fuck you too. you're fuckin' claimed!

 

ROlf

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Dear Self,

 

Most people, I think, have to apologize for lying or pretending

to be someone or something they're not.

 

Self...you are really a fuckin' manic depressive psycho who has to

apologize for speaking the truth and being who or what you really are!!!

 

WoW. It must be so much easier to be a con. Always being who

you need to be at the time. Can't feel bad or guilty cause it's all a big lie.

 

Maybe you need to smoke weed again.

Wish they still made Rorer 714s

 

Peace,

Self...

Behave yourself!!!

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dear Scotland...

 

please win 2-1 the night so i can be up £30 aff o £3... that'd be handy... seeing as i didn't win that 101 million last night...

 

dear fubby...

 

happy birthday an shit. i'm lookin' forward to seeing your 30 stone self fallin' aboot drunk and possibly taking doon some load bearing walls in the nightclub the night...

 

dear decy and grd...

 

well done on kickin' yon inglish cunts oot the rugby... i hope you win the rest o the games...

 

Rolf

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Dear Rolf,

We did good innit, the best thing for me was seeing how poorly england played afterwards though. Warmed the cockles of my heart it did. We beat Switzerland on Friday too but that'll probably be our last win in that tournament.

 

Bad luck about the bookies, horses and accumulators are the way forward my friend. I'll send you some tips next week.

 

-grd

 

 

DEar Decy,

 

unpatriotic englishmen are the best kind.

 

-grd

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dear Grd...

 

yeah me too... as a Scotsman, there's no greater pleasure in life than watching englad get their fuckin' arses pumped at anything...

 

 

i try my best to keep oot the bookies actually... i go in aboot 4 times a year tops...

 

i come from a problematic gambling family. my grandad used to make my mum go oot and work at weekends so she could give him money for the bookies and boozer... then come home blootered and batter her to say thanks...

 

probably why she's hard as fuck to this day...

 

we've all got our vices i suppose...

 

Rolferoo

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Dear Rolf and grd

 

you guys and your silly sports, only sports I know are things like skateboarding lol

Wouldnt mind being a gambler though, but again lack of knowledge of that sort of thing kinda stops that (and lack of cash to gamble away)

 

Dear self

 

stop lacking the motivation to even leave the house to do anything, find some happiness or something to enjoy this is getting fucking tedious.

 

Decy

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Dear teenagers at the arcade in the mall,

 

 

 

well..i see that you wont let me play marvel vs capcom 2 without betting at least 2 bucks on a game.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

25i9r8l.jpg

sincerely about to be two bucks richer elis sies

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dear red,

 

thats dope. i used to butcher at a high end joint and carving good fresh fish was one of my favorite things, eating pieces of sashimi grade hamachi for breakfast, mmm. have fun with it man.

 

fist

 

dear 'merica and 'mericans,

 

stop being apathetic

 

thanks,

fist

 

dear DARK HORSE BOOK OF THE DEAD,

 

i am so happy i finally got a copy of you, i feel like i should put gloves on before i hear your spine crack and i lose myself for an hour in your splendid horror.

 

yup,

fist

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Dear Decy,

 

you're Welsh now, embrace the spirit of rugby and get drunk and sing the national anthem with the rest of the country!

 

- grd

 

 

Dear Monday,

 

Hiya, this week is good already, I'm happy to see you for a change

 

- grd

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