PITOFZOMBIES Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Dealing with some rough shit lately. Past couple weeks have been grueling, but things turned around out of nowhere and improved my situation greatly. There were moments where i entertained the idea of getting wasted, but i stifled 'em without issue. Even considered going to a meeting, just because I was feeling pretty alone. Couldn't find one that was near enough and at a plausible hour. Skateboarding has been probably the biggest help, along with my homies who that entails. Been reading more lately... not sure why, but books kind of were lost on me for the past year or so. Looking forward to what the future holds. Grateful I don't have to drink anymore, and for my friends who've been damn good to me lately. Excited for tomorrow. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shittles..TasteTheAsshole Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Glad to hear. Stay strong nurgas. Drink lots of water. Warm weathers finally here, I been cycling & weight lifting. Lots.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPORTO Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 I found one of the harder things, is when you do fall off the wagon the next 3 that run over you are destined for Cynical Ville...the fourth one is on the way to your past, that one might stop on sit on you for a while and try and crush your will...fifth one might be worth tryn to to grab on to , as its going anywhere but now.... cycling is good..fit as a fucker in 6 weeks...as long as you don't bullshit yourself like you do while your on the sauce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xen Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Been cutting down on drinking and narcotics. Okay coke. I am interviewing a tattooer who I think has gone through NA or AA, because he posted the serenity prayer on his blog (having coffee with him before the interview, so it's not like I haven't done homework on him). Thinking about asking him about his experiences in AA/NA. Just not sure what the hell I'm gonna do if I actually go into a program. I tried once, but the religious part just peeves me. As others have said throughout the thread, the program may or may not be necessary. Or at least formally but you will find all walks of life in the program up to and including atheists, agnostics and otherwise unsure/rejecting. That's what you look for in a sponsor, someone that has successful sobriety that you can relate to. Just like in day to day life, you encounter all different beliefs but associate with with like minded individuals. Just sober. *I kind of miss the program and may start going again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Got fucked up last night. It's not all it's cracked up to be, going back on the wagon tomorrow. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish meatloaf Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 i screwed up again. over & out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heather lewis Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 living in a city that drinking is so much a part of the culture, everywhere, and accessible 24/7. it's tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 i am coming up on a year and that desparation that drove me in here is mostly evaporated.. i'm blessed now to have found success in a majority of the list of things that are important to me. that being said, the internal things, the insecurities and the selfishness and the vanity, are still there. it's getting to me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Ive been drinking but very small amounts and while eating on weekends, have cut out getting drunk on week days. The insecuriteis are the root and they may never go away but you can work on lessening them. Friends help with that because a Lot of the stuff you tell yourself in your head is not true. The mind likes to lie to itself. I am always too hard on my self for my past/ and too ahrd on myself for my future and create anxiety. I feel like I cant give you much advice because im younger and am probably going to repeat a lot of the same mistakes but theres my 2 cents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 also a good quote about weed but it can be applicable to all substances/obsessions Don't let your life revolve around booze, let booze revolve around your life 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ugene Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 Been cutting down on drinking and narcotics. Okay coke. I am interviewing a tattooer who I think has gone through NA or AA, because he posted the serenity prayer on his blog (having coffee with him before the interview, so it's not like I haven't done homework on him). Thinking about asking him about his experiences in AA/NA. Just not sure what the hell I'm gonna do if I actually go into a program. I tried once, but the religious part just peeves me. spirituality and religion are two completely different things. just because it says GOD in the twelve steps doesnt mean it cant be a god of your understanding. hope you choose whats best for you, im t ired of getting dopesick and shitting my pants. lil over 8 months clean and serene. keep your heads up players theres light at the end of the tunnel 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 As far as I know the reprinted literature going forward replaces the word GOD with Higher Power Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 ^correct for AA, I don't know about NA though, only been to a handful of NA meetings a few years ago. Been to hundreds of AA meetings, the ones I went to tried very hard not to use the word GOD because some people (like myself) immediately stop listening after they hear that word. Higher power is more broad, more easily relatable, and more easily changed. It can be anything. Haven't been here for a while because i've been drunk. Today is day three without. Again. Hope y'all are being smarter than me. And never forget, wonk saggin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 The thing that pisses me off about the God/Higher Power shit is that people try to deny or dance around that AA's foundation is/was constructed with Christianity in mind. Just own up to it as the reality of the situation, and offer that they are also open to anyone's interpretation of 'god'. When people attempt to deny an obvious truth, I lose most of my ability to trust them, and it leaves me disenfranchised with just about anything coming out of their mouths. Cut the sneaky shit and be straightforward. Deception is not something someone should have to deal with when they're confronting their demons... All the best to you guys. Mort: hope you're all good. Actually, I know you are. Good to hear that you're sticking with this shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Everytime I post in here, POZ is the first fucker to respond with something halfway calling me out, but never actually with the balls to come out and say shit. That pisses me off, which makes me want to drink, which will take me back into a shitty place in my life. FUCK YOU POZ. I will not return, this thread is no longer a healthy place for me to be, and neither is this site. Most everyone else, best wishes. Again, FUCK you POZ. Grow some fucking balls, then proceed to suck on your own balls to keep that diarrhea from coming out your mouth. Deuces /yesmad. /notdrinking, you don't win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 I think I called you out earlier actually, you fucking whiner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 I didn't even read your post, Buddy. That was a general observation that pertained to the discussion at hand, specifically Protestor's post. When something you said had, in the past, prompted me to say something that might have somewhat countered it, I addressed that i wasn't attacking you in particular, because I'm not about that. What i said in my previous post is a reflection of with MY experience with AA, and nothing more. Am I supposed to wait 'til someone has posted after you to have my say, because your feelings get hurt if what I think remotely contradicts you? I'm not here to chase you around, homie... I realize that I have a more cynical viewpoint on aspects of recovery, but I've got some time under my belt now, and I hope that spilling some shit now and again will help the people who are left feeling like they need some insight, but aren't down with the cult shit. Many people find what they need in the program but I didn't. I recall the uncertainty of those first few months after i bailed and, while the there were a few people, I just wished there'd been someone telling me that I can WITHOUT A DOUBT make this shit happen without it. I'm here to offer that to anyone sharing that sentiment: If you want to get sober, you can do it with or without AA... I don't care what ANYONE fuckin' says. You can also blow it and carry on with your addictions, with or without AA... If anyone feels like I've been too edgy, let me know. For every ten sober people raving about AA and how wonderful it is, there is one who is told that they'll fail if they don't follow their fucking rules. I'm here for those people... Redeyeanimal: If you want to rationalize drinking because of someone's comment on the internet, then go for it. Lashing out at me because you think I'm undermining your posts is just insecurity and paranoia. The handful of times I've spoken harshly, with direction, I've been up front about it. This is not an instance of it. I'm not calling you out. I don't give a shit about you or your pills or any of your shit. You don't contribute shit except a deluded viewpoint on how to not actually stop drinking, while taking pills on the side. I'm glad you weren't here when I was newly sober, cuz that would've been a great excuse to experiment with mixing that shit... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Account User Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 it was definitely morton that called you out last time, red. friend just celebrated a year. incredible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 help the people who are left feeling like they need some insight, but aren't down with the cult shit. Many people find what they need in the program but I didn't. I recall the uncertainty of those first few months after i bailed and, while the there were a few people, I just wished there'd been someone telling me that I can WITHOUT A DOUBT make this shit happen without it. I'm here to offer that to anyone sharing that sentiment: If you want to get sober, you can do it with or without AA... I don't care what ANYONE fuckin' says. You can also blow it and carry on with your addictions, with or without AA... this was a good post, and a point i wish was more actively promoted. i think for most of us the goal is sobriety and happiness, nothing else - and that attaining those goals solves most (all?) of the living (not drinking, living) problems we all face. a part of being sober is recognizing that people will learn where their solution to their own issues is, and that it may be well outside a twelve step program ... or outside sobriety entirely. AA is just a solution, and the long term success rate is not incredible. it's not a silver bullet. disallowing anything outside aa for long-term sobriety is shortsided and rather intolerant. as an alcoholic/addict/etc, you've got it hard enough as it is - no need to add judgement of everyone else to the list. props to your friend PAU Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish meatloaf Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 finally got a handful of buprenorphine. i had basically been reluctantly using the past five months to be able to work (can't work sick... blah blah blah). i know - you've heard it a million times and i know a few of you have been there. december my state funding ran out @ the methadone clinic and i slowly picked up right where i left off - i can honestly say post-acute withdrawal syndrome is a mess & threw me off my entire gameplan. i'm embarrassed that i've had to live this "secret" again while i visited my girl in prison with needlepoint pupils. but it's crunchtime now - she gets outta prison tuesday after three years locked up. i moved outta the hood and i will NOT drag her back into that lifestyle. i'm ready to be clean, or @ least not using heroin and i hope to god it's the last fucking time. i truly believe that having wifey back & getting back into narcotics anonymous will be enough, for now. but i'm not looking that far ahead. just focusing on TODAY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boodah Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 inj, you can absolutely do it without AA. I quit everything for over a year, by myself, with the support of my mother and sisters. It's all about getting back to who you were before you started all the drugs and alcohol. Things you loved will be rekindled, and you'll have more motivation and more success with what you seek. If I was to ever get off this shit again, it's absolutely not going to be because of AA, because my whole upbringing was so counter-everything-AA. There's no way I can go there with the integrity that others can. Drugs and alcohol aren't the problem. You can't control what goes on in the literal world, only what's in your head and emotions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Still sober bros..... Good to see everyone here contributing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPORTO Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 The best thing about this thread is anyone who makes a decision to post on it has a reason, I.m sure there are many other reddit type sites etc where you can read the same chatter, but since 12oz kinda quieted down over the last few years you know that here is the real deal...prop all have something in common visa v the who;e creative thing...were all in the same same boat & were all floating around on the same rock in space..I reckon some of us have hard time coming to terms with that...in and amongst the other shit life throws at you. Detoxing to quickly is dangerous but not an excuse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tighthead Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 good call, eventually figured the grip/trading in of red bull cans instead of beer cans was a safer and much soberer option. Only just checked this Injury Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Long hot day, would do almost anything for a 40oz right now. Checking in as usual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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