Alcoholism

[you can microwave bacon]

weed is for winners

[Kalashnikov]

So for all of those people who are former addicts of any sort and are now sober, or at least sober from their DOC... what's up with the food "addiction" thing?

 

I have been noticing this more and more lately. Like I feel like I'm turning into a true fat ass. I'm still within my normal weight range and everything (albeit, not by much) but when I don't have anything else, I really look forward to eating. When I'm having a shitty day especially, sometimes I'll get lost in thought thinking about all of my lunch choices. Plus if I have enough food, I eat until I'm full. I also eat when I'm bored.

 

Not fucking around either, I've heard this is definitely a thing with sober people. I never really used to give a shit about food that much. I mean yeah I liked good food, who doesn't, but so long as I had a dollar for a McDouble after getting a few bags of dope I was good.

[morton]

I dunno that I would call it food addiction but eating habits can change for sure. I never or rarely had dessert after dinner when I was drinking because I went back to drinking in earnest after dinner, now I have dessert just about every night, and have for pretty much the past decade. 

 

In the first couple years there was also a sense of entitlement to indulgence, I can eat whatever I want because I am sober type thinking but that gave way for me pretty quick.

 

The long distance run of being sober involves all kinds of encounters with compulsive behavior, overeating, procrastinating, spending, working, fucking whatever.

 

Controlling and overcoming compulsion and making positive choices small and large is the name of the game but it can be hard to see and harder to do for us because of our muscle memory for going the other direction.

 

  

 

 

Edited March 13, 2019 by morton
to edit

[Moe Szyslak]

Ive been drinking a lot since about 2 years ago. Pretty much daily. I never get "drunk" though it always a steady buzz., but it is letterally from the moment i wake up to when i go to sleep. And its always stricly beer. Liqour and wine make me murderous mad and thats no fun. I got some problems i guess. ?

[Kalashnikov]

14 hours ago, morton said:

The long distance run of being sober involves all kinds of encounters with compulsive behavior, overeating, procrastinating, spending, working, fucking whatever.

That's actually good insight, I've never really thought about that before.

[+plus+]

Still havent learned to socialize without booze.

Drinking is under control but had a few slip ups.

One bad night,

given up on totally quitting for now.

 

[+plus+]

Got rid of nictoine since xmas so 1 battle won

[Moe Szyslak]

Cigarettes are harder to quit than heroin.. Or so im told

[+plus+]

So after posting in here last night GF came home and started bringing up Anti Vax talking points she heard from her mom.

Normally I would have tried to talk it out but I snapped like a slim jim 

Fucking hell I hate/love unfiltered me. 

 

[Kalashnikov]

On 3/15/2019 at 11:58 AM, Moe Szyslak said:

Cigarettes are harder to quit than heroin.. Or so im told

As someone who quit both, I gotta disagree. Kicking heroin (multiple times) was by far and long (nh), the hardest (nh) thing I've ever done

 

Quitting cigarettes/nicotine literally was nothing, at least to me personally. One day I was just like... "Why do I still smoke? It tastes like shit, makes me smell like shit, costs me money. Fuck it." and I just stopped. It's been about a year and a half since that moment, no desire to smoke at all. If quitting heroin was as easy as quitting cigarettes I would have done it a long time ago.

[morton]

There is no reasonable comparison between cigarettes and heroin, it is nonsensical. 

 

On the sobriety front, my wife is out of town which means that I have an opportunity to use without anyone in my family knowing about it. It is not too much of a challenge and there are still barriers built into my lifestyle like working a job with random drug testing etc. but it reminds me of how much harder it was to resist the urge to use in the beginning and during the first few years. With many years clean it is easy to judge others and diminish in perception the challenges and hazards associated with narcotics, I am kind of happy to have a reminder, however mild, of what the struggle is really like.

 

I have other family coming into town soon so the window will close by the weekend anyway.

[Moe Szyslak]

I am currently trying to quit drinking, or at least slow tf down. I get real anxious in the mornings when i dont have a beer. Been drinking at least 4 or 5 24 ozs a day for about 3 months straight. Im also on some other rx meds and it seems like im getting further and further away from reality. Time to chill. I drank 2 24s today, gonna try to drink just 1 tomorrow.

[Moe Szyslak]

On 3/20/2019 at 4:35 AM, morton said:

There is no reasonable comparison between cigarettes and heroin, it is nonsensical. 

 

On the sobriety front, my wife is out of town which means that I have an opportunity to use without anyone in my family knowing about it. It is not too much of a challenge and there are still barriers built into my lifestyle like working a job with random drug testing etc. but it reminds me of how much harder it was to resist the urge to use in the beginning and during the first few years. With many years clean it is easy to judge others and diminish in perception the challenges and hazards associated with narcotics, I am kind of happy to have a reminder, however mild, of what the struggle is really like.

 

I have other family coming into town soon so the window will close by the weekend anyway.

Stay strong holmes! Junky life aint anywhere you want to be, im sure you know

[fat ralphy]

Haven't drank in over 12 years - sometimes you feel so far removed from the past your tempted to pick it up again. 

 

Feeling safe and in control can be dangerous. 

 

For anyone that needs a alternative support (since this thread is slow), Reddit has r/stopdrinking

[theprotester]

This third year is definitely throwing plenty of days/situations that historically would always be tackled with copious amounts of alcohol and ranting to the abyss of 12oz.

 

Thank God for a strong foundation made possible by people like POZ and others in this thread that carried the message to me. Oceans away but in the same state of mind. This was legitimately my final source of outside communication with a world I felt I'd rejected first - before it could reject me.

 

RIP POZ

 

Props to anyone out there trying to make a change in your life, whatever path you choose I wish you success.

 

 

[brothhalynch]

being a alcoholic i only change wen i have to i live this way cuz its best for me ,but only i decide wats best for me , i will always figure out wat i need and wat  i want 

Edited July 11, 2019 by brothhalynch

[~KRYLON2~]

after a long day of work or after working out my urge to have a drink always increases. I probably avg 4-5 beers a day, but then i'll get caught up in a project and not drink for weeks. 

[fat ralphy]

Still sober....

 

My lady handed me a beer to hold yesterday - nice cold beer on a hot Los Angeles afternoon. I smelled the hops and fantasized about taking a deep pull....I would likely drink in a controlled manner. I would hold it together, for a few weeks at least.

 

Soon enough I would be back to the three ring shit show.

 

That being said, I had a few pretty good non-alcoholic beers over the last week. Fuck it. I guess i am satisfied with pacifying the beast. 

 

 

 

Edited July 11, 2019 by fat ralphy

[pissdrunkwhat?!]

God speed all yall wild folks in my boat. Do some shrooms helped it helped me cut back. Find some peace in nature. Buy bottled water and slam em.

[Guest]

Taking the month of October off. Plan to avoid coffee too. 

[fat ralphy]

@KILZ FILLZprepping for “No Nut November” ?

[+plus+]

well tuesday I drank a ton of bourbon and made an ass out of myself. I was having a great week and my neighbor brought me 1 beer. Nekst thing you know im stumbling to store to buy cigs.

RAGRET

took off work yesterday with hangover and needed a day

feels bad man .

 

2 steps froward 5 steps back 

[Guest]

Sober October lasted until today. 😔 

[Kalashnikov]

I have been drinking more than I want to inside lately, if that makes sense. One thing I'm starting to get worried about, when I drink a lot I notice that I get this dull pain where I feel like my right kidney would be, but sometimes it's on the front too. It's right above my pelvic bone, so it feels too far down to be my liver. It's not bad but it's noticeable. I don't really notice it at all after I'm a few days removed from drinking. I've been drinking maybe 2-3 times a week.

 

Anybody ever experience something similar? I had a physical earlier this year and nothing stood out as a problem.

Edited November 25, 2019 by Kalashnikov

[Dirty_habiT]

I used to have a terrible problem with addiction in various areas and I still do. I think the only thing that helps me is being too occupied with other stuff that I deem productive or important. Drinking and smoking fall very low on the priority list. 
 

I recently quit smoking reefer after spending most of my life doing it. I used to "need" it. Now I'm just fine and my mood feels much more stable. I felt like getting stoned was numbing me and making me not the person I really am.  I also quit vaping recently by tapering my nicotine level down from 12mg to 1.5mg to cold turkey. Haven't had any craving and I recouped some $$$ by selling all my vape shit to a manager at my work. 
 

I have been away from drinking in excess for a very long time now. I don't like feeling buzzed or drunk anymore like I used to or the trouble it would bring me. I now can safely drink casually/socially. I literally can have a single beer and not feel the need to have another despite people drinking around me. Even one beer for me is rare now even in the presence of others drinking. I enjoy being the dd for my gf and her friends too because they're all good girls that sometimes like to go out together. 
 

Anyway I hope any of you all struggling can find what you need in life to be happy. I started associating addiction with unhappiness and that made it a bit easier to step away from it.   Good luck and I'd love to offer anyone advice that needs it. I've been addicted to shittier things in the past and got away from those too. 

[poes]

On 11/25/2019 at 11:39 PM, Kalashnikov said:

I have been drinking more than I want to inside lately, if that makes sense. One thing I'm starting to get worried about, when I drink a lot I notice that I get this dull pain where I feel like my right kidney would be, but sometimes it's on the front too. It's right above my pelvic bone, so it feels too far down to be my liver. It's not bad but it's noticeable. I don't really notice it at all after I'm a few days removed from drinking. I've been drinking maybe 2-3 times a week.

 

Anybody ever experience something similar? I had a physical earlier this year and nothing stood out as a problem.

I do.

 

Since the age of about 16 I have been getting super-hammered at least once per week (not including the multi-day benders during holidays, festivals etc). I'd consider myself a long way from being an alcoholic but it's definitely something I have difficulty controlling once I have had one drink. 

 

After 17 years, my hangovers are horrendous and last several days. My tolerance has gone way down and I feel like a much more sloppy drunk that I was. Normally around peak summer and Christmas, I'll go through periods of drinking a lot (ie. until I don't remember half the night) 3-4 times per week before dialling it back. 

 

It's started to give me full on fatigue, anxiety and aches where I imagine my kidneys sit.

 

After a number of years, I realised that the pain outweighs the joy I get when getting drunk. I'm down to about 1-2 beers every week or two and generally feel a lot better.

 

I do miss getting wasted with my friends at the weekend but if I'm honest, the physical toll was making me depressed and holding me back in other areas of life. I now sink all my newfound time and energy into other hobbies, like jiu-jitsu.

 

[SMdoubleXL]

So-I moved across the country a few years and a few months ago and the day I got there, was the last day I took my last pill. Started smokin trees (never cigs) and started seeing that I was causing my own misery and why would I keep doing that KNOWING it’ll never have a good outcome. I really had to focus on bigger picture. Staying off of em long enough to really see and understand how toxic they are. We can call ourselves “functioning_________” But now I look back and realize I was just a piece of shit and thought I had the wool pulled over everyone’s eyes and they didn’t know. While focusing on the bigger picture I was able to get healthy by being completely in tune with my body and the thought of an Opiod entering my body makes me gag upon the thought. Stay clean long enough to see the bigger goal. It’s truly worth it.

now I’m bout to read a back few pages to catch up on yinz and see some good words hopefully   

[+plus+]

Yea so I went back to the vape because my "1 smoke here and there" turned into an everyday thing again. 

Also had one of the lowest moments of my life about a week after I last posted in here. 

Cheated on my girl in a blackout with my neighbor and friend. Ruined multiple friendships with that mistake 

Pretty much the worstthing I could have done. 

With someone I am not even attracted to. Dont even know what happened just a blur 

I have drank since but it has been minimal. 

Gf wants me to quit entirely but I dont know if I am strong enough. took october off and then got drunk 2x in november in controlled enviorments. 

Thanks for listening. 

Dont fuck your neighbor 

[+plus+]

hello darkness my old friend 

[misteraven]

I know it sucks to hear it could be worse, but you’re standing up on your own two feet and got air in your lungs. So long as you have that, you have all you need to pull it together and chase what you deem to be worthwhile.