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sausage party

So I have mentality of a 13 year old and stole all these blank checks.....

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Last week my bike was stolen. it was partly my own fault. I left it locked up downtown for too long because my friend lost the key and i was "too busy" doing other shit to get it. so its gone. im an idiot.

 

fast forward to last night. I decide to perpetuate the shitty karma.

 

Im in the back yard at a party with some friends when i see a messenger bag on the ground near me, jus' hangin'. I use my better judgment and leave it alone. an hour and about three drinks later, i see that fuckin bag, just sitting there, begging me to take it.

 

"come on dude, just pick me up! no ones gonna notice"

 

I ignore it and get back to partying. we decide to leave and walk right by it, i pick it up and throw it in a corner, five minutes later scooped it and went home.

 

upon looking in the bag i found, among other things, a bunch of this persons checks. They have been sitting on my coffee table since last night and im still staring at them, wondering what i should do with them. I was taking a shower nh and thought "the oontz will know wat to do, those niggers be stupid"

 

so what should i do with all these blank checks and, more importantly, can i even use them to buy cool shit w/o catching alot of heat right off the bat?

 

EDIT: save me your lectures on morals, i just wanna know how i can get stuff out of this.

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

Yes, go use them and collect as many felonies as you possibly can.

Scumbag.

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

use the address on them to return the bag and all its contents to its owner

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

Been there, done that.

 

Except there was about a 1/4 of good dope too.

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

Oh dude...like don't right a check to yourself or whatever.

The consequences will definitely be backtraced.

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

don't try to use one at a large retail store

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

yo, you should runaway from home and become a lawyer/ doctor/ pilot for panam and get mad bitches.

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

yo, you should runaway from home and become a lawyer/ doctor/ pilot for panam and get mad bitches.

 

catch me if you can reference? that reminds me, i never finished watching that...

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

Buy a flux capacitor and modify your car to go back in time and use the checks when people actually used checks regularly.

 

You better hope nobody used the process of elimination to figure out who stole the bag from the party. If the party was at a friend's house, then you really are a fucking douche.

 

9_funny_you_are_bag_douche.jpg

 

 

Also, by you stealing from someone else, you aren't using the power of karma. You're just being a scumbag like the person who stole from you.

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

catch me if you can reference? that reminds me, i never finished watching that...

 

awesome movie.

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

Yeah, but the huge difference is that Frank Abagnale is a fucking genius and didn't steal the checks. He actually made millions of legitimate dollars after his arrest assisting in counterfeiting investigations as well as creating ways to make it harder to counterfeit.

 

 

Sausage Party is no Frank Abignale.

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

yoiu should use the checks to buy yourself a concrete box with a metal door and a lock that has a key, get int he box, lock the door and toss the key. There should be enough checks from the partay for this, right nigga?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tumblr_lg3ibjUj2U1qznuhoo1_500.jpg

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

Last week my bike was stolen. it was partly my own fault. I left it locked up downtown for too long because my friend lost the key and i was "too busy" doing other shit to get it. so its gone. im an idiot.

 

fast forward to last night. I decide to perpetuate the shitty karma.

 

Im in the back yard at a party with some friends when i see a messenger bag on the ground near me, jus' hangin'. I use my better judgment and leave it alone. an hour and about three drinks later, i see that fuckin bag, just sitting there, begging me to take it.

 

"come on dude, just pick me up! no ones gonna notice"

 

I ignore it and get back to partying. we decide to leave and walk right by it, i pick it up and throw it in a corner, five minutes later scooped it and went home.

 

upon looking in the bag i found, among other things, a bunch of this persons checks. They have been sitting on my coffee table since last night and im still staring at them, wondering what i should do with them. I was taking a shower nh and thought "the oontz will know wat to do, those niggers be stupid"

 

so what should i do with all these blank checks and, more importantly, can i even use them to buy cool shit w/o catching alot of heat right off the bat?

 

EDIT: save me your lectures on morals, i just wanna know how i can get stuff out of this.

 

 

 

Fuck you I hope u die a slow death

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Re: So I have all these blank checks.....

 

You should look the person up online and apologize to them for being such a shitty human being and stealing their bag and offer to return everything and tell them that you fully expect them to beat your ass and are going to take the ass beating without fighting back. You should at the very least lie to them and say hey I found your bag last night and I wanted to return it to you it was in the bushes down the street from this party.

But of course you could try to get some free stuff in which case you will most likely go to jail which sounds like it is a bit to nice for you unless you get stuck in a cell with some dude who beats you down daily.

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