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Dear ________,


suca

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dear nick swardson,

 

ok this was pretty funny.

 

RR

 

dear RR,

 

diamonds for meat!!

 

cG

 

Dear friends of the Dear thread.

My kid has a Physics project--that I know she did quite some years ago, we just don't remember how we did it, or who did the best in her class.

remember the "egg drop experiment"?

 

-overall demisions cannot exceed 14cm squared.

-overall weight (w/o egg) cannot exceed 35 grams.

-4 meter fall.

-only paper products-except tape to hold it together

 

anyone remember what you did?

 

asking for your 2cents.

Slim's Momma.

 

dear slim's momma,

 

sorry, when i took physics in high school some 14 yrs ago, our project was making minature solar paneled cars and seeing who's would go the fastest.

 

cG

 

Dear sushi eaters,

 

i'm FINALLY updating my thread with pics of sushi making. 6 months late, but hopefully it'll enhance the thread quite a bit. Sorry for the delay Cali.

 

-red.

 

dear red,

 

yay!..thanks!

 

cG

 

 

dear my 12 0z friends....

 

 

i miised you all due to moving and lack of the interweb... but its back on. so now my intercrack problem can be fixed...

 

 

souls

 

 

dear souls,

 

welcome back!

 

cG

 

Dear Researchers,

 

Is CF actually a ciliopathy? If so why I am the first person thinking that?

 

!@#$%

 

 

dear symbols,

 

im taking your theory and writing a grant proposal as we speak!

lol..jk

 

cG

 

 

dear world,

 

i had a really good day. the top 4 hottest girls in my classes all wore the same spandex like bottoms that made their asses irresistable. im in love...

 

<3

RU.

 

 

dear RU,

 

pics or it didn't happen!!

 

cG

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dear RR,

 

im a huge fan of nick swardsons standup!...it doesnt get any better than when he talks about going to his high school reunion as a ninja, or the time he got a happy ending from a fat old asian masseuse.

 

and, ive been waiting for this show for the past 4 or 5 months, when he announced it on his website.

 

but honestly, i am very disappointed....i thought the sketches would be funnier...i mean grandma's boy was really funny...i thought pretend time would even have more guest appearances from some of the happy madison people (like norm mcdonald, rob schneider, adam sandler, etc.)....but the first time it aired, i didn't even laugh.

 

last nights episode was better than the first though....the diamonds for meat sketch was pretty funny....hopefully the show gets better.

 

cG

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dear italian girl,

 

i was set on you for a while, and you're still hot... but now i learn you're into black guys. that's a deal breaker, i don't stand a chance. all i have to offer is my head case, my court case, and a sense of humor. besides, i dont think i believe you.... you listen to shitty pop, drink compulsively, have a wild case of pancake ass and are shy and soft spoken, what the fuck? you ain't gonna pull any "African-Americans" i know... and your last 2 exes were white.

 

whatever, back to where i started.

 

(sharted)

 

-bitter INJ.

 

------------------------------------------------------

 

dear track spot,

 

once i grab some more black and white, it's on.

 

-INJ.

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Dear friend who's visiting,

 

Holy fuckin shit I thought you would never come back.

I'm all stoked that you're coming back home even if it's just

for a bit. We all missed you like crazy after you left the

country all of a sudden without telling us (even your parents!)

I felt like a dork getting teary eyed when we finally was

able to talk on skype after not hearing or seeing each other

after two years! That was a looong time considering we were

like sisters since the 4th grade. I'm excited all us friends

get to chill again, we've got so much shit to catch up on.

See you when your plane gets here!

 

-Ms Seyer

 

 

Dear oontzers,

 

Go to Everest college! Go up your pimp game...

 

-seysey

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Dear RR,

 

I know, but try telling that to a band of egotistical wiki admins, they deemed my sources not notable, after demanding that they be properly formatted. :(

 

Symbilicols

 

 

 

 

Dear Graffiti,

 

If I have beef then squash that shit.

 

Sincerely

me

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Dear cold that is in my body,

 

You need to evacuate the premise by tomorrow because I have to tend bar at my friend's house party.

 

Thanks,

Earl

 

Dear body aches,

 

You really are pissing me off.

 

Eat a bowl of cocks,

Earl

 

Dear Earl,

 

Even though you are sick, you still look like a sexy beast. A sexual wombat with rabies.

 

--The Mirror

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dear woman thanks for paying me teh £70...

 

however i need to realise no matter how pished i am... £55 plus £70 does not make £150

 

fuckin' tube head...

 

dear fitba.. you were shite the night... both games... and you can fuck off...

 

 

 

 

dear fuckin' frooot looooop bitch who was in my year at school.

you are still a fuckin' loony tune. but thanks for improving my arabic swear words...

 

i dunno wether to laugh or cry at the fact you feed you half muslim children bacon sausages and pork just to piss off their socailly inept grandparents.

 

 

 

dear dick head mate... do not have me sitting beside a fire on four bars drinking ten pints of ice cold beer ever again... i have been typing this for over 20 minutes... and i also have a tan...

 

i may let you off on the fact you shagged that duck face bird up the arsehole and then made her sooook it off you afterwards though... twas rather funny...

 

especially telling it in front of her two best mates...

 

plus what made it even more funnier was it was either you or her cousin who got her pregnant then you couldn't sleep for weeks...

 

 

 

 

 

but thank fuck it was her cousin...

 

 

and we still laugh aboot it 'til this day... even though it was only months ago...

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dear Earl,

turkish cocks?..hmm never had that (those), plus it seems like something they would serve on a skewer, not in a bowl..not to mention, it seems kinda far.

 

got any contacts in vegas?..

or at least the west coast?

 

I know it seems desperate..but i think i just need a night of good ole hate sex

to release some stress.

 

im sure that was more than you wanted to know,

V

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