random thots

[One Man Banned]

I thought a mammogram was a social media site where women post their titties.  Actually, not a bad idea.....

[LUGR]

16 hours ago, One Man Banned said:

 

Like many people you probably thought avocado is kind of an item enjoyed fresh, otherwise it turns brown, and this sauce isn't brown nor is it fresh made.  Hmm.....

I made some fresh sauce enjoying this avocado.

[One Man Banned]

3 minutes ago, LUGR said:

I made some fresh sauce enjoying this avocado.

 

That's a cool story but I suspect you just like showing off how you slice your avocado.

BTW, do you know what you get when you google avocado porn?

Why would I think @MOOGLE?knows the answer.

 

[MOOGLE?]

@One Man Banned its basically people shoving avocados in their ass and nikocado avocado's asshole .

 

the second one had all of twitter and reddit united in scrubbing that image from the internet .

[One Man Banned]

5 hours ago, MOOGLE? said:

@One Man Banned its basically people shoving avocados in their ass and nikocado avocado's asshole .

the second one had all of twitter and reddit united in scrubbing that image from the internet .

 

Funny that you do know but too late for my own curiosity to have googled before I typed that.  There was also a woman painted in dark avocado with her crotch in light avocado and she was shoving an avocado up there.  

 

Personally, if they're not ripe enough yet I just place them next to a banana but to each their own.

[One Man Banned]

 

Hit my music....

[mr.yuck]

If you're a sucker, every time you get punched is a sucker punch.

[Fist 666]

Had my ten-year anniversary since meeting my wife this week. Other than work in kitchens, ride bikes, read books, and play with myself I ain't done anything for ten years... seems like both a flash and an eternity. I didn't think I'd live til my 40s, let alone be happy.

 

 

Tldr: life is weird.

[One Man Banned]

Call the cops.

Call your boss.

I don't give a fuck.

OMB too crazy, got to cool down.  Got RR employees and security types trying to move me and I'm like fuck off, this is my line.

[cancelculttourist]

People always got something to prove but disregard the facts.

[ndv]

1 hour ago, cancelculttourist said:

People always got something to prove but disregard the facts.

 

Like prosecutors.

[LUGR]

Like 12oz Qtards.

[xen]

Think about the time period when the Bible was current events.  
There's an awful lot of praying about not getting eaten by lions because there was a decent chance
that you, or at least someone you know, was not getting through their day of labor in the desert
without being mauled by a lion.

Mauled By A fucking Lion.

[One Man Banned]

bruh can you even sign my black book man?

[One Man Banned]

Whiskey Vs My Dick

Round 1

FIGHT!

[Joker]

Random thought or rant? You tell me.

 

I've been working in a shared office space for the last two years. It's the same concept as a wework space just a different name. In the two years I've been here I've had plenty of shared bathroom experience to walk away with several head-tilting thoughts. 

 

1. The number of men leaving the shitter and not washing their hands is mind boggling. In a week I will witness at least a handful of men walk up the sink (where I'm washing my hands, like a fucking hero) and fix their hair, rub their hands on their face, fix their shirt or whatever... then leave without washing their hands. I've seen several guys not wash their hands after wee-wees either but nasty doesn't bother me so much, probably because I do it from time to time, especially when traveling on the road and have to piss at a truck stop. It leads me to wonder: are parents not teaching their kids to wash their hands after poopy-doos? Or are these grown men just so damn busy that they can't be bothered to clean themselves? Or is there some weird social media hand washing backlash that I'm not aware of?

 

2. I've witnessed (or rather heard, I guess) several men walk into the shitter, stand there and piss into the toilet, then sit down for poopy-doos. Like... is there something wrong with sitting down to pee before poops? Do guys think someone might find out they're a wizz-sitter and think they're legit gay? What's happening here?

 

3. Conference calls on the shitter. Fucking c'mon, dude. Really? Gross on so many levels, but do these guys think no one can tell they're in the toilet? Especially when they flush!?!? This is easily the thing I witness most often. 

 

4. Pubic hair in the urinal. There's either one guy or several but I would imagine by now they're smooth as a baby's bottom down there with the amount of pubes that are piled up in the urinal. It's like a wet pile of kindling. Not to mention... are they fucking grabbing gobs of hair when peeing? And grabbing soooo much and tugging hard enough to rip it all out seems so weird. Every dark hair guy I see in the halls I think to myself "Are you the one with pubic alopecia?". 

 

5. Used paper towels on the floor. Alright... what's happening here? You're one of the good ones who washes their hands after touching their naughty bits, you pull down some paper towels to dry off, and then what... you can't be bothered to put those used towels in the bin not 24" away from you? You just throw them into a pile on the floor next to the bin. I'll give you the benefit that maybe the towel fell out of your hands before you reached the bin. Awwwwwwww, that fucking sucks, man. Hey, here's a thought... grab another paper towel and pick it up. Quit being a lazy pile. 

 

6. And finally, I don't understand how so much water gets on the floor and mirror. Are, like, two guys in there each at a sink at the opposite end of the counter and having a splash fight a couple times an hour? Are they washing their hands and then flicking the water at the floor/mirror to dry them off instead of the towels? I'm so confused. 

[ndv]

@Joker  for reason munger is why I never eat shared food at work e.g. party trays.

 

It boggles my mind too

[LUGR]

Not washing your hands after a shit is gross.

 

If I touch anything in a public restroom I’m washing my hands.

 

Only time I don’t wash my hands after taking a leak in public restroom is if I don’t touch anything including my wiener.

 

Opening doors after I wash my hands with a paper towel.

 

I would probably call those dudes out for throwing trash on the ground if it wasn’t an accident. Someone has to clean that stuff up and that behavior makes their job more difficult.

 

Rest of it I would chalk up to them being weirdos.

[One Man Banned]

12 hours ago, Joker said:

Random thought or rant? You tell me.

 

I've been working in a shared office space for the last two years. It's the same concept as a wework space just a different name. In the two years I've been here I've had plenty of shared bathroom experience to walk away with several head-tilting thoughts. 

 

1. The number of men leaving the shitter and not washing their hands is mind boggling. In a week I will witness at least a handful of men walk up the sink (where I'm washing my hands, like a fucking hero) and fix their hair, rub their hands on their face, fix their shirt or whatever... then leave without washing their hands. I've seen several guys not wash their hands after wee-wees either but nasty doesn't bother me so much, probably because I do it from time to time, especially when traveling on the road and have to piss at a truck stop. It leads me to wonder: are parents not teaching their kids to wash their hands after poopy-doos? Or are these grown men just so damn busy that they can't be bothered to clean themselves? Or is there some weird social media hand washing backlash that I'm not aware of?

 

2. I've witnessed (or rather heard, I guess) several men walk into the shitter, stand there and piss into the toilet, then sit down for poopy-doos. Like... is there something wrong with sitting down to pee before poops? Do guys think someone might find out they're a wizz-sitter and think they're legit gay? What's happening here?

 

3. Conference calls on the shitter. Fucking c'mon, dude. Really? Gross on so many levels, but do these guys think no one can tell they're in the toilet? Especially when they flush!?!? This is easily the thing I witness most often. 

 

4. Pubic hair in the urinal. There's either one guy or several but I would imagine by now they're smooth as a baby's bottom down there with the amount of pubes that are piled up in the urinal. It's like a wet pile of kindling. Not to mention... are they fucking grabbing gobs of hair when peeing? And grabbing soooo much and tugging hard enough to rip it all out seems so weird. Every dark hair guy I see in the halls I think to myself "Are you the one with pubic alopecia?". 

 

5. Used paper towels on the floor. Alright... what's happening here? You're one of the good ones who washes their hands after touching their naughty bits, you pull down some paper towels to dry off, and then what... you can't be bothered to put those used towels in the bin not 24" away from you? You just throw them into a pile on the floor next to the bin. I'll give you the benefit that maybe the towel fell out of your hands before you reached the bin. Awwwwwwww, that fucking sucks, man. Hey, here's a thought... grab another paper towel and pick it up. Quit being a lazy pile. 

 

6. And finally, I don't understand how so much water gets on the floor and mirror. Are, like, two guys in there each at a sink at the opposite end of the counter and having a splash fight a couple times an hour? Are they washing their hands and then flicking the water at the floor/mirror to dry them off instead of the towels? I'm so confused. 

 

On 5/8/2023 at 5:23 PM, One Man Banned said:

Back then employees didn't wash their hands and you ate your dickhands burger and liked it.

 

^Link goes direct to the correct joke

 

^Me watching guys talk about using a public restroom when I piss freely where I please

 

#freerangepissing

 

 

[One Man Banned]

On 4/18/2024 at 7:52 PM, One Man Banned said:

Whiskey Vs My Dick

Round 1

FIGHT!

 

My dick never loses.

[mr.yuck]

Haha! @Jokernever been invited to the bathroom hand wash splash party. Next time you are washing your hands and some grease ball rolls up after taking a dump and running his hands through his hair, start splashing a little water at him. That's how you initiate the splash party.

[Mauler5150]

As I woke up this morning and went to work in mourning of having to waste a day on this islamd of rapists, murderers and thieves, I have started to realise that the reason every cunt wants to try claim My head Highlander style is because they put My licence plate designation of EL on every single piece of legal tender usable in this country.

 

So with this all said, I dyed My body and face witg blue ink like that on tge $10 note as nit only if I was a woman am I too prrfect for any piece of shit man in this country, but I git more attention and questions about why I was blur for a couple dollars in ink than any one who spent thousands of dollars getting tattooed.

 

If ine cannot get the ironic "blue blooded" sense of comedy from My transition to become an Asari to remove any relation to the war mongering rapists, thieves and murderers that comprise the human (rat) race, then I understand that as a "Queen" who once awoke in the Queen's bed of My castle in Czech, I can indulge in incest or whatever and write it off as being "What Royals do". Given My refraining from doing such things, as well as not fucking the commoner slaves who use EL's head adorning their money as some sort of trophy and tool to exert power, they should know that in tribute of My Indian Hindu wife, whenever I shit I give My shit an Indian name like Arslan, Vikas or Javinder before I flush it down the tubes to the toilet that India has become thanks to the vermin abusing their allocation of rupees for purely selfish objectives.

 

So not only do I use My belly that obscures Mt abs to birth via defecating someone who claims to be "King" of Tekken, but I teabag and flush the fool down the tubes with a swirly that spins backwards as they do "Down Under" as whilst one cannot murdee and obry the Golden Rule, I can metaphorically send a message to man that I am no longee classifying Myself as being of "Their kind" as if I could rewind time I would abort existence prior to giving away a dream only to get reamed with a fishhook as a nightmare via the open ports that come from using the softWARe and installing the Youtube app in Premium  form so I get no "Ad(am)s" as "man" only exists to serve themselves as they try to be the DOM of Ra, the God of the Sun.

 

How is this for a RAnDOM thought fitst thing in another day I waste going through the mundanity of being a whore that swaps the location of their body, attention and time in exchange for the cash I need ti survive in a system I view as being written in C that is worth as much as the Ash in cASH.

 

 

 

 

[Mauler5150]

As I sit in a ute acutely aware that these nagas try to rape Me as they view My position as being a uterus they can use to brees, I shall state that I exist to spite those whose hatred for Me is only eclipsed by the hatred they harbour towards themselves and My joy in understanding they exist as rhe alternative of what I will not and would never seek, desire, wish or chose to be from wirhin the infinite possibilities that exist

[Mauler5150]

And whilst I am going about the task of waiting for the ones who steal and sell POWer in a grid I have ended up removed from so I can get raped and kept as a Prisoner of the War to render existence as  being as worthless as the snake going around a Pole that forms the dollar sign "$", I will blame it on My birth certificate and passport having "Sub" on it due to being born in Subiaco.

 

As what else is an "Ass Port" of a modem used fir other than to shit out this reality of buttsucking cancerous cunts who huff cugarettes in My oresence, whilst I can remain silent typing My true thoughts of how I witness such cunts I would advise ti kill themselves now as opposed fi being viewed by Me as the equivalent of the Walking Dead corpses seeking to eat brains guven their logical decision making process is such a failure that their choice implies to Me they lack any brains at all.

[cancelculttourist]

On 4/20/2024 at 8:32 AM, One Man Banned said:

 

 

^Link goes direct to the correct joke

 

^Me watching guys talk about using a public restroom when I piss freely where I please

 

#freerangepissing

 

 

Portajohns are for pussys on our remodels, ole squat and hang from a tree dumper oners.

But @Jokeras far as conference calls on the turlllette idk about work related but nothing better then making phone calls on the crapper and telling people about your bm, sometimes just sporadically sending pictures of my stool to homies to warm up their appetite around lunch hour.

 

Edited April 23 by cancelculttourist

[Mauler5150]

To sum up My emotions at present to go with My awareness that I exist in a soulless, dead, cold machine I listen to this "1 with the attitude" from the  1st song of the concluding alBUM of "The Holy Trinuty of Punk" as what else is life other than a centipede comprised of mini nagas linked Oroborous style entering and exiting whilstraping the Holes of us cyborgs as we are linked together in a web of deception and lies.

 

 

"I've got nothing to say.

I've got nothing to do.

All of My neurons are functioning SMoothly yet still I'm a cyborg just like you.

I'm one big MyOMa that thinks
I've got only 1 prOBlem will I live forEVEr?

I've got just a sHOrt time to C#

 

MOdern Man, evolutionary betRAYer

MOdern Man, ecosystem DEstroyer

MOdern Man, desTROY yourself in shame,

Modern Man, pathETic EXample of EARth's organic HerITage.

 

And I hit the Sub MIT BUTT-on to post another stick up My arse cuntz in My incessant Terminator like battle of Raging Against the Machine wishing I used UTF-16 little Endian encoding as a default for Safari was opposed to UTF--8 as what else is "-8" but a cock and balls ready to fuck the value out of existence itself?

[Mauler5150]

2 minutes ago, cancelculttourist said:

Portajohns are for pussys on our remodels, ole squat and hang from a tree dumper oners.

But @Jokeras far as conference calls on the turlllette idk about work related but nothing better then making phone calls on the crapper and telling people about your bm, sometimes just sporadically sending pictures of my stool to homies to warm up their appetite around lunch hour.

 

Had a friend who delighted in sending messages of his shits with "thinking of you" as the text caption when phones first got cameras.

 

As for Me I have never taken a shit rhat never eventually returned as an Uber Eats driver, and I am not sure whether one is supposed to feel prouder of making a huge log like shit or for making a nice long skinny shit? As one would suggest you have a bigger arsehole whilst the other just means you are sliding down rhe pole of the machine fuxking us all to death a little faster.

 

I remember Waves Surfing magazine in the 90s had photo competitions of people sending in their shits, and it was pretty funny, and looking back knowing they took the photos with film cameras and had to get them developed before sending them in, one could imagine the comedy of having the photo place guy want to go Robun Williams themselves when they do their print quality check only to come across a 2.5ft long 3 bend, 2 Done diameter log like I saw in one edition of the magazine that had the Editor wondering if the submitter who claimed it was due to a breakfast of 12 Weetbix a day was even human.

[Mauler5150]

Also, I would suggest not fucking whores in this lifetime lest you become a John and get to experience all 65000 plus ports on your human modem being shit in by the naga humans who use portajohns and perpetuate a false construct known as money to keep you subjugated and subued each day.

[One Man Banned]

Bruh did you just say you smeared ink on your face and then went out?

[NightmareOnElmStreet]

On 4/19/2024 at 9:43 PM, LUGR said:

Not washing your hands after a shit is gross.

 

If I touch anything in a public restroom I’m washing my hands.

 

Only time I don’t wash my hands after taking a leak in public restroom is if I don’t touch anything including my wiener.

 

Opening doors after I wash my hands with a paper towel.

 

I would probably call those dudes out for throwing trash on the ground if it wasn’t an accident. Someone has to clean that stuff up and that behavior makes their job more difficult.

 

Rest of it I would chalk up to them being weirdos.

I can dig most of this but am a guilty not all the timer washer after taking a leak. Way I see it is, if I don’t touch anything then I’m neither contaminating myself or other dudes. The poor souls that have to clean said bathrooms have a job doing so and that is what it is. Hopefully they glove up. But yeah I pretty much never touch anything in public bathrooms unless I gotta drop a heat bomb in which case I always wash up and use the damp towels to make my exit or the bottom of my shirt. I been in manual labor jobs for years crawling around on bathroom floors and using 5 gallon buckets for a poop so long a lot of that stuff doesn’t phase me but it’s habit at this point for some reason in public facilities to try not to touch anything. Unless poopin.