toggle Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 at work i can do any of the following... surf 12oz shmoke weedz drink burs paint freightskis and...leave to get food. I work over-night security at an undisclosed location:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
"inkie" Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Hang out with the persian and viet homies talkin about hick border patrol eat mad amounts of free food Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earmuffs Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 expensing large meals and booze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blart.BOS Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 i'm made of money, seriously. i need a few twenties because my left foot is missing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 i wouldn't even know where to begin...i had mcdonalds brought to me this morning and we frequent tittie bars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devilush Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 expensive "business" lunches on my corporate american express card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhereEaglesDare Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 12ozprophet Scoping porn Making stickers with company supplies (we have thee bad ass Hp printer) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soulkillers Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 nothing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blart.BOS Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 i remember now, i had a job where i spent the entire time yelling at people, anyone near me, nobody could do anything about it. that was quite nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeweyVonGumpsteinAndTheWiz Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 expensive "business" lunches on my corporate american express card. best one i've heard yet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirone Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Watching movies (dvds or streams) all day long. Surfing 12oz for 6 outta 8 hours, and of course theres the daily puffins, ya know, to kill the boredom. Ahh...sweet sweet data entry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUR X3 Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 zOMG WEED! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 I also have eatin many a expensive meal at the goverments account. Mmmmm.....Lobster and Steak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatalist Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 i get way with alot of shit, from: -chilling with my shoes off -picking up the phone when i want too -calling patients at my convenience -gossiping on the celly until the work day is over -getting all my homework done before 5 -reading a book at leisure -free shades -1 or 2 hour lunches -wearing what i want damn i love my job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Lunch meetings with my friends + booze... coming in 15min late everyday and no one cares... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 perusing 12oz and stealing chloroform what else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-_67_- Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Having my lady come meet me for "lunch" and then smashing in the bathroom on the next floor up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I show up to work on an empty stomach and eat thier foods. Then I check my internets for a while. Sometimes I take naps. After I watch American Idol. I smoke weeds. And then eat more of thier foods. Last night I drank my boss' liquor. And used her internets to send mean messages to dudes. I am quitting my job soon though. To be a stay-at-home kitten mom. It's the deal. If I promise to quit my job and let dude be the bread winner, and he will buy me a kitten. Consider it done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MekA_OnES? Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 dont even get me started on abercombie and fitch tales. i shit in a paper bag and tossed it into the canoe that hangs from the ceiling, would play slayer over the soundsystem at work, fuck girls in the dressing rooms while on the clock, and punch in, rack shit, take money out of the registers and roam around the mall aimlessly, sneaking into movies, eating burritos... all the while collecting paychecks for "working." YOU ARE A GOD AMONG MEN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I came to work today. And said I wasn't quite feeling like doing any work. So I haven't. Now I am going home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groyn shmoyn Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 i yelled at a 90 year old man today. he was a douchebag and i told him never to return to my workplace ever again. i feel like a champ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeBee Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I get away with alot because when they need me to I work like a fucking animal It's all pretty normal for me to threaten customers, tell a manager to fuck off, etc etc Not to mention all my callouts, and how drunk I am on some of the days I do show up. 2 Saturdays ago i showed up projectile vomiting, they all thought it was pretty funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnitzel Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I factor in between two and three hours of "oz time" per day. then I fill my backpack with the cokes etc in the fridge. then I spend an hour entering every online comp I can find to win some goodies but other than that i get away with fuck all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackbaby Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 HIT ON BITCHES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 All this is from past jobs: Stole over $3000 in cash in less than six months.. Drank on one companies dime.. My boss would write it off.. Then we'd drink at work.. Did a massive amount of drinking and drugs working at an independent record shop.. Then worked in a club.. I'd get security to roll dealers I didn't like and then do the drugs myself, since my security didn't.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~KRYLON2~ Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 working at a lumber yard has its pluses. get drunk and drive the forklifts. i invented this game called forklift wars, its kinda like tag, but you have to pickup the other guys lift. last summer we had a few kegs in the warehouse, smoking blunts in the bathroom, selling contracters stuff out the backdoor to make a lil extra cash. for the most part its work as usual, and i usually dont get wasted on the job. but then theirs always those days when you dont feel like doing shit and you just want to get fucked up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groyn shmoyn Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 i yelled at a 90 year old man today. he was a douchebag and i told him never to return to my workplace ever again. i feel like a champ. UPDATE: i kinda got away with it... the guy called the corporate manager and reported me... it got back to my manager and he questioned me about it... then he asked "did you really tell him that you were DONE dealing with him and walked away?"... so i said yes... and we had a good laugh. i lived the american dream at my workplace. while everyone else holds their tongue... i stood my ground... and it is sweet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeBee Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 get drunk and drive the forklifts. i invented this game called forklift wars, its kinda like tag, but you have to pickup the other guys lift. selling contracters stuff out the backdoor to make a lil extra cash. Yes and yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 all i have to do is make sure im there and get work done for 16 hours a week, but i can do whatever i want. my boss would not give a fuck if i were high as a kite everyday, and would definitely smoke with me (if i rolled like that). there is always beer/scotch/weed handy. i can come and go as i please. anything i want to do there is alright...as long as i don't disturb the landlord. wednesday he came in and told me to turn my "nigger music" down when i was listening to jay z's black album. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skullnbones Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Eat lots of awesome food. Make awesome food to take home with me. My access to good food at work has kept me alive the last 6 months. Hide in a coolroom on hot days and eat chocolate. Drink plenty of free beer. Listen to whatever I want. Turn up late. All the usual stuff. Also I can just tell my boss what shifts i want for the week and get them. Like somebody else said, I can work fucking hard when i have to, that allows me to slack off other times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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