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Dear ________,


suca

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

dear big fat bank teller-

 

I'm wearing polka dots today.

And I looke fantastic.

 

sucks to be you,

polkaVAJ

 

Dear Vaj,

 

hahaha YOURE EVIL!!! Do you have a cart to carry around that big head of yours?!

 

Just kidding I bet you do look great...but why you gosta rub it in the fat girls face? haha

 

Signed

I am not fat...

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Washington Mutual,

 

Thanks so much for overdrafting me twice in a row today. That was swell. I'm glad I deposited that 70 bucks, just to have it disappear. PRETTY RADICAL!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

hate you,

^ . ^

 

dear cat face:

 

I unfortunately work for that shitty company. If I knew you better I'd reverse your fees and 60 dollars would be yours again.

 

Hating them as well- B. fish

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

dear newcastle,

i

love

you so much.

but you're working very

slowly tonight and thus i'm going

to cheat on

you

with vodka here

in a minute.

i still have a

few

of you left to feed me therapy.

-mister fister six hundred and sixty six

FSTRevolution

it

only

takes

5

seconds

five seconds

to

revolution

fistfistfistfistfistfistfistfistfistfistsakjl

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Broad,

please don't make me have to go to that haunted house thing. I think haunted houses are stupid, and are only alright when you see five year olds crying. If I get stuck going to this you better blow me. And I am not talking a slow loving blowjob. I mean a merciless face fuck fiasco.

Lovingly yours,

Ghost puncher

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear insomnia,

 

Please go away you are ruining my life like real talk homes I keep missing class and shit because I cant wake up in the morning. I feel really groggy and fucked up everyday too. I miss sleeping at decent hours and feeling well rested. Every once in awhile you come in handy for vandal like activities but everyday is killing me! Find someone else to torture or I will be forced to seek medical attention that will DESTROY you with prescribed drugs.

This shit is bananerz- El Fishy

 

Dear Motown hits of 1965 cd,

 

I am ecstatic that I purchased you the other day. You are making the drive to work enjoyable and its almost as if you have given me hope that work wont be that shitty…almost. Thank you for bringing some form of optimism in my life by not sucking at music.

Welcoming you into my life with open arms- B. Fish

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Alcohol,

You are a whore. I hate you. You made me feel like shit and I am not even that drunk. Please just step your game up and kill atleast five teenagers tonight. If you did me this favor i won't be upset at your shittyness.

Lovingly yours,

The man who drinks too much

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear spider,

I was just taking a piss and noticed you. I have been letting you take residency in my window for about two months now in hopes that you would kill with the preciseness of a surgeon. You have been the same size for this long and I have expected bigger. If you do not grow any larger by this week I am going to squish you between my fingers and show you how a predator should act.

Sincerely yours,

FUCK YOU

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

dear /sk,

 

She called again, wanting to come over. She was all emo on me. I lied and said that my roomate didnt want her to come over (which is true). They talked and i guess it didnt end well.

 

So, I know how you like your fatties :p so this is dedicated to you...

 

l_d05360df06597c320af7e3e81025e6ee.gif

 

/no homo

/E.I.P

 

<------

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

dear bananafish,

 

I think we are possibly twins, seperated at birth..since I always have some sort of sleeping issue. I also fixed my account, alas, no moneys are in it. Thanks for the kind thought though.

 

love always,

the face of the cat.

 

 

dear me,

find a boyfriend already (just no more off of 12oz. dear god. no)

Life has been extremely boring being alone.

 

love,

me

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear spider,

I was just taking a piss and noticed you. I have been letting you take residency in my window for about two months now in hopes that you would kill with the preciseness of a surgeon. You have been the same size for this long and I have expected bigger. If you do not grow any larger by this week I am going to squish you between my fingers and show you how a predator should act.

Sincerely yours,

FUCK YOU

 

Dear Hatori,

 

This was an awesome post because it's hilarious but also so true. I too have arachnid room mates, but they know not to bother me while taking a deuce or in the morning. I will even kill my girlfriend for bothering me during these times...unless I trick her into coming in to see a deuce I am particularly fond of.

 

~MRL

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

dear the common cold

I hate you so much and you are making my weekend shitty and putting me in a grumpy mood which i dont want to be in. i'm going to nuke you with some airborne so have fun making the spot right behind my nose feel sore and weird.

 

-willgood

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Liver Rot,

I was just pissing a few minutes ago and noticed that little arachnid fuck in the same spot, posted like he is selling crills. I think I am going to catch a moth and see if it makes him fat as fuck. But the real reason for writing this is when I read about you tricking your girl into looking at your dookie I literally laughed out loud at the thought of some unsuspecting girl just moseying into the bathroom and looking into the toilet and seeing like a 4 foot turd coiled and sticking half ways out of the water as if it was trying to catch a breath before it sunk down to its depths.

Your Friend,

Callus Fingers.

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Neighbors,

 

Remember how you two moved in without your husbands?? So the last couple of days is a reminder of why you did this. Hearing your men call you stupid, dummy and pulling your card by letting everyone know you are an alcoholic and get high was great entertainment and sad all at the same time. Please make the men leave as it will be old in the next minute. One of you has a kid who doesn't seem happy anymore. It will only get worse..

 

Love,

IOU

--------------------------------------------<

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear hipster-scene kid at work,

 

Your checkerboard DC shoes are the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen, and are NOT business casual. Get a goddamn haircut.

 

P.S.

 

I saw you pick your nose, roll up a big ol' ball of snot, and flick it at your cubicle wall. I only wish I had not accepted a position in a different department, had I not, I would be your supervisor and would have fired you for being disgusting.

 

That is all

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