What do I do if a friend seems suicidal?

[KILZ FILLZ]

Title

[LUGR]

Talk to them. Spend time with them. Let them know you are there for them and concerned.

 

If it is more of a serious urgent matter, you may need to reach out to the professionals.

 

I have no background or expertise in this matter. @fat ralphymay have some insights.

[Fist 666]

Talk to them. Hang out with them.

 

Do NOT point out all the things they have going right for them, listen to what's wrong and hear it. Make them go do an outdoor activity with you (hike, beach, etc) for that vitamin D. Make plans for the coming weekends that they're excited to do. 

 

 

 

Microdose mushrooms with em?

 

 

[mr.yuck]

Try and steer them away from alcohol if that is a problem in their life. I have witnessed a couple alcohol related suicides. There are always underlying issues but it can act as an accelerant in an already hopeless feeling situation.

[Fist 666]

Wife's input. (Probably ignore my post...)

 

1. Tell them you are worried about them and that you care about them. Tell them they are not alone (use your own phrasing, this isn't a script).

 

2. Ask, "are you suicidal?" You aren't planting the seed by asking, but it gets to the core quickly.

 

3. You can call the suicide hotline ( 988 ) and ask for local resources.

 

Most importantly,  just talk to them.

[morton]

I would put number three from the above post at the top of the list.

 

People who deal with this shit all the time often have insight and advice that is earned from that experience; you can call one of the community numbers and get some idea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[One Man Banned]

Fuck man I was in the middle of an actually articulate response and the computer hiccuped and there goes my shit.  I'm more versed than I care to say here, DM me if you like.  

 

Quickly, some decent suggestions above.  On the list de Fist #2 "should" be #1.  You can start with #1 as a way to dovetail into #2, but in the end #2 is more important in the moment because you don't know if they have a plan, intent, means, etc.  They may have already set their mind on their decision and are waiting for a particular time.

 

Ask, listen, express your concerns, give your support.  You could call the hotline together?

 

If someone is suicidal, drugs/alcohol are likely to make things worse.

 

Suicide can be very complicated, it's hard sometimes for people to understand the whys, hows, how could they??  Also, many people, even those close to us, may have private worlds that we don't know/understand.

 

"Seems suicidal."  Elaborate?

[Fist 666]

For the record: my wife said I'm a fucking idiot for suggesting microdosing. 

[Mercer]

39 minutes ago, Fist 666 said:

For the record: my wife said I'm a fucking idiot for suggesting microdosing. 

 

From my own experience, it needs to be a somewhat controlled situation where the person being treated is fully on board with rewiring neurons, with a full dose to work properly. Microdosing can sometimes make the situation worse, or herder to fix. I was somewhat doing this last year, not suicidal or anything but not 100% mentally healthy either, didn't go too well. I quit all rec drugs for a while including weed, and ended up going the pharma route which worked for me. Microdosing leaves the person more open to changes in thought patterns, but it can backfire if the situation they're in isn't being triggered internally, and is being cause by real life events in their situation from external inputs.

 

@KILZ FILLZ I'd say the best thing you can do is letting them know you give a fuck, and you're here to talk. Just let them know it's not a problem if they reach out to you any time things are feeling off for them or their overwhelmed. I'm the type of somewhat anti-social dude that really isn't there for acquaintances much, but if I know a homie is overwhelmed I'm down to stay on the phone for hours if needed. Lost a friend to suicide a few years ago, he even posted on 12oz back in the day and was part of my crew in the 90's. You can't stop them because ultimately it's their choice, but you can at least make yourself availiable, let them know you care, and how fucked it would be if they left like that.

[fat ralphy]

@LUGR as a substance abuse counselor I can’t place people on holds but I have had to get the proper steps started.

 

 

What is absolutely insane about being tagged in this thread.

 

Last night my brother (undiagnosed schizophrenic/meth) douses his vehicle in gasoline and lights it on fire. Takes off all his clothes and tries to commit seppuku in the middle of El Camino Real - which is a huge street that runs through the entire peninsula up to South City. 

 

Dude is on a hold right now - restraints, anti psychotics, had to be given a CT scan to check for serious organ damage etc.

 

I am actually relieved of course because he didn’t manage to kill himself and hopefully this will engage him or force him into treatment after 5+ years of unregulated insanity. 

 

@KilzFilz for a friend, you make sure they dont have access to firearms and you strongly consider calling in emergency services if the dude is super despondent and talking about taking action.

 

A hold generally needs some clear behavior or if no behavior then a confirmation of a plans and the means to act on it.

 

Its good you are asking here about your boy.

 

It is also good to be straightforward with your buddy and tell him that you are concerned and why - sometimes opening that up allows you to get a sense of the issue and lets them know you care.

Edited September 24, 2022 by fat ralphy

[mr.yuck]

Jesus fuckin Christ. I hope everything works out for your brother @fat ralphy

[MOOGLE?]

Letting them know you are there and especially figuring out a way to let them know they can talk to you.

Doesn't have to be about their issues at all , but depending on the person some boundaries need to be set unless you wanna end up the person being guilted with suicide threats at 4am (speaking from experience).

 

Some will choose suicide no matter what, like my niece 5 years ago, or my childhood friend who did it at 21 in 2001 or his ex 3 years before that in our friends bathroom during a house kickback.

 

I think the hardest thing for some is being able to express emotions or issues that don't really have words and you just kinda spiral into a states of being over ,suffocation, powerlessness  individually or all at once .

 

Mental health issues makes it even harder to reach out to that person.

 

Personally I avoid the hell out of saying shit like "it'll get better" ."you have so much to live for". "Think about ___ cause they will be sad". They got enough existential shit going on at the moment for all that noise.

Edited September 25, 2022 by MOOGLE?

[fat ralphy]

Stay safe out there oontz, take care of yourself because I love you guys. 

 

 

Update to my bro, he is stable and safe. Likely will face some lightweight charges based on the situation. Dude has been wild crazed for years with mental illness that he denies, this really may be helpful in engaging him into treatment. It also may not, which is Ok because rule #1 guys, we can’t control what takes place with others and need to understand how that must lead us to healthy boundaries in relationships.

Edited September 25, 2022 by fat ralphy

[Elena Delle Donne]

On 9/24/2022 at 6:31 AM, Fist 666 said:

Talk to them. Hang out with them. Make them go do an outdoor activity with you (hike, beach, etc) for that vitamin D. Make plans for the coming weekends that they're excited to do. 

 

all this. spot on. not being alone is a huge first step 

[Elena Delle Donne]

and goddamn ralphy! hope your bro gets gently sorted after all this 

[fat ralphy]

I will update the thread - no thread jack.

 

My bro had a disposition to schizophrenia which he no doubt agitated after a cool 5-6 years of methamphetamine use. 

 

Delusional hardcore for years and we gave tried to help him but no luck. 

 

My folks visited him today and he is coherent. 

[Dark_Knight]

Encourage good activities. Preferably something that makes you sweat. I’ve dealt with some serious depression in my day and the way I got out of it was from physical activity and reading. The key is to get your mind to stop thinking. Maybe take your buddy out on a mini trip. Get him away from all the things stressing him for a little and have a few laughs.

it’s hard bc being in his place… you feel like nothing you do will make a difference in how you feel so you fall deeper. Positivity goes a long way 🤙🏼

[fat ralphy]

@KILZ FILLZany updates dood? 

 

What was it that led to you making this thread?

 

Also props to @Dark_Knight for sharing on the personal tip….. I have had a few dark moments myself. Keep up the good work my guy. 

[Schnitzel]

Good luck with it.
 

I wish I'd known  what to do or how to recognise the signs.

 

 

[One Man Banned]

Was thinking of this thread and mentioning something about signs.  Not going to list them all, but some things to look for might be isolating, loss of pleasure from activites/things they enjoy, giving away personal possessions,  talking about suicide, feeling hopeless, feeling helpless, experiencing a recent loss, prolonged grief, depression, history of mental illness, history of past suicide attempts, trouble sleeping, making a gesture or attempt.

 

Also have to agree with what @fat ralphysaid about firearms.

 

And what @Dark_Knightsaid about exercise.  Not really a cure for being suicidal, but it helps depression in part by releasing some good brain chemicals.

[fat ralphy]

Bro is on a 14 day psych evaluation and they are in process of getting approval to make him take medication. 

 

I am planning to go visit him tomorrow.

[NightmareOnElmStreet]

Holy hell. Hope everyone’s alright out there. It really helps/means a lot to dudes deep in the dark, be it on the edge or leaning, for people just to simply say they’re there and want to hang out. A simple suggestion like that can sometimes mean the difference between major choices. 

[KILZ FILLZ]

Thanks everyone. I don’t want to get into too many specifics because he and I share friends who oontz from time to time. 
 

basically he said some things to me and a couple other people that were concerning. Those of us he said these things to all kinda gave each other a heads up thinking we may have been the only one. 
 

he’s a great guy loved by many. Just going through a rough patch the last 6 months or so and went on a pretty heavy bender…. Everyday for multiple weeks long. 
 

met up with him today and he’s on a good path and first time I’ve seen him sober in a couple weeks. We got some breakfast and ran around town doing a couple errands I needed to knock out. Told him I love him and I’m here for him. He has done a couple AA on zoom (at least told me he has). I’ve asked him to join 24hr fitness so we can go together when I get out of work a few days each week. Gonna bug him to follow through on saying he would. 
 

will keep checking in on him and relay today to the other friends he spoke with. 
 

thanks again everyone. I hope I don’t need to post in here again with bad news.

[fat ralphy]

@KILZ FILLZ solid course of action dude.

 

I visited my bro today in the hospital. He is still very much in his delusions and in his case this incident probably falls more under schizophrenia versus an organic suicide attempt.

 

Man schizophrenia is wild - we have dealt with his illness unchecked for years. Crazy part is that when people are sick their delusions are their reality and you cannot convince them otherwise.

 

This 14 day hold will hopefully help to

get him on antipsychotics finally. 

 

Highlight of today was hearing him telling the hospital staff they are “forgiven of all their sins” and hearing about how he tried to book it from the cops ass naked while carrying not one but two bibles.

 

Stay up oontz. 

[KILZ FILLZ]

@fat ralphyhang in there man. That’s rough

[fat ralphy]

@KILZ FILLZ thanks man - believe it or not this is the best chance he has had at stability in years. 

 

 

[MOOGLE?]

On 9/26/2022 at 9:10 AM, One Man Banned said:

giving away personal possessions,

Lmao I feel attacked cause I do this shit all the time, and just realized all the times I purged shit I don't need..all my people suddenly got concerned about me.

[fat ralphy]

Just saw this on lame ass Linked In.

 

 

[fat ralphy]

Ok folks - my bro has been on an extended 14 day hold and yesterday they decided they will

force medicate him…….for 4-5 days. He will be out Monday next week at the latest.

 

Him and I spoke on the phone today. He is not going to continue to take meds, he sees through the evil plot. Basically he is claiming he is not schizophrenic and “when the rest of the bible comes true his life will

skyrocket” - which is sadly something that like 45% of Americans who are not schizophrenic would probably say. Smh. 

 

Anyway - I think I have convinced my parents that dude needs to live in some SLE or halfway house type situation because he needs checks and balances. Hopefully he stays off that peezo - 

 

Dont do drugs ooontz - unless they grow from the ground. 

Edited October 7, 2022 by fat ralphy

[modern dance]

Tell your friends you love them.

 

All the best @KILZ FILLZ🙏