earmuffs Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law I'm going to lurk him out on facebook too see if any tardish shots are on there! My lady will murder me if she finds out I did this fixed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law An old friend of mine had a mother who worked with the tards. They all went on a field trip to the beach and are about to leave. They take a quick roll call and realize this kid Micheal is missing. So just as they are about to go looking for him they start hearing him scream bloody murder. When they find him, he has his dick in a metal pipe all cut and scraped up. The mother had to clean the tards dick up. The tard got all excited every time she touched him. The End. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis and Clark Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law An old friend of mine had a mother who worked with the tards. They all went on a field trip to the beach and are about to leave. They take a quick roll call and realize this kid Micheal is missing. So just as they are about to go looking for him they start hearing him scream bloody murder. When they find him, he has his dick in a metal pipe all cut and scraped up. The mother had to clean the tards dick up. The tard got all excited every time she touched him. The End. hahahah what. the end is right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 6, 2011 Author Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law Don't get it twisted guys....Frank is always pretty nice to me.It's just that he is so fucked and self absorbed that he does shit to EVERYONE that sucks....thus making me hate him. When ever I'm at his parents place he will roll up to me with his porn smuggler and offer it to me to read the paper...... I AINT TOUCHING THAT SHIT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 6, 2011 Author Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law So in her family when ever a person dies they will have a nice meal on that persons birthday as a "salute". Grandmas dead...remember Frank dumping the flowers and water out in the church?swag! We go out for this family meal, 50 deep easily.All the grand kids on one side and the adults etc on the other....oh by the way....we only eat at portuguese spots cause her ignant family wont eat anything not pork chop......So the Benfica(shitty foot ball team) games on and Franks Dad is swagging beers and watching it spazzing out. One of the other cakers that married in to the family loves to play tricks on my girls dad....it's their bro time. So when ever Dads not looking he reaches up and turns the channel. Dad freaks out at the waiter shits all gravy and super funny. Frank doesn't like social situations in which he is not the centre of attention, he finds reasons not to go to weddings, parties, family shit etc. He makes up friends,dates or starts beefs amongst people to not go, or make the thing about him. Frank tried his hardest to get out of this dinner but after his mom says "frank you dont have a date or any friends"....but yo thick thick portuguese accent and very monotone. He's pissed and out for blood. He screams at the dude thats turning the TV off "STOP FUCKING MY DADDY", cause you don't know what hes like, he drinks and goes crazy and beats me.....and when he comes after me i'm coming after you" then he runs out of the place but like a 3 year old all retarded and unsteady WE ALL GO OFFFFFF LAUGHING! Her dad doesn't really drink and is the nicest man I've ever met, wouldn't hurt a fly let alone beat up his fat retarded son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullshitTantrum Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law teach him how to count cards. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law Holy shit that last story made me LOL so hard hahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law teh lulz! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law teach him how to count cards. Yeah he could turn out to be some sort of Rain Man savant if you can just tap into one of his many unique talents... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasfacevictm Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law TARDS n' CARDS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famecrazy Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law this thread is lulz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 6, 2011 Author Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law So Franky hates wearing coats......he will layer multiple hoods to get the desired warmth that his body hair doesn't provide. Thats not the issue or the funny part, as alot of people don't wear coats in the winter in CANADA! The awesome part about Frank wearing his 5 exco hoodies is the method he uses to remove them. one by one he latches the hood over the banister, bends down with his hands over his head and backs out of them. While grunting and making noises only a fat man can make. HE'S 33 YEARS FUCKING OLD! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law I smell a possible .gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 6, 2011 Author Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law My girls normal brother once alerted me to Franks close resemblance to Superman.....he rolls in the house and in a blink of an eye he's in his boxers walking around........he called him TARDMAN. Shit was banger! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplegrape Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freakeenyc Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law hahahahhaahha^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law I really get aggravated quickly with small children and retards. So I commend you with the patience you have with him. Because no matter how funny that shit is if I was there I'd want to drop him off in the woods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..romero.. Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law A girl went missing here and it was a huge fucking deal. It was in my girls parents hood....her name was holly jones,look it up. The police and an fbi profiler made up a profile and released it. It outlined an over weight, porn addicted loser etc etc. Frank reads the the profile in his porno smuggler and FREAKS OUT.........it fit Frank to a fucking TEEEEEE. He sits his mom down and tells her that he killed Holly Jones. His mom freaks out, everyones going nuts and I roll up to the house and drop the bomb. "YO THEY CUAGHT THE FUCKER THAT KILLED JONES TURN ON THE TV" It wasn't Frank its too bad really.if he'd have turned himself in this could easily become one of those events that they make a court tv special with the guy from unsolved mysteries narrating.or at the very least a lifetime movie. " A COLD NOVEMBER NIGHT:the holly jones case,presented on lifetime.television for women" a little girl gets killed and the tard neighbor is falsely accused,then an underdog lawyer(a woman) unravels the mystery and catches the real killer,freeing frank from the grips of death at the foot of the gas chambers.it practically writes itself. ITS NOT TOO LATE FRATE RAPER,HAVE HIM TURN HIMSELF IN AND WE CAN MAKE MILLIONS!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..romero.. Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law A girl went missing here and it was a huge fucking deal. It was in my girls parents hood....her name was holly jones,look it up. The police and an fbi profiler made up a profile and released it. It outlined an over weight, porn addicted loser etc etc. Frank reads the the profile in his porno smuggler and FREAKS OUT.........it fit Frank to a fucking TEEEEEE. He sits his mom down and tells her that he killed Holly Jones. His mom freaks out, everyones going nuts and I roll up to the house and drop the bomb. "YO THEY CUAGHT THE FUCKER THAT KILLED JONES TURN ON THE TV" It wasn't Frank its too bad really.if he'd have turned himself in this could easily become one of those events that they make a court tv special with the guy from unsolved mysteries narrating.or at the very least a lifetime movie. " A COLD NOVEMBER NIGHT:the holly jones case,presented on lifetime.television for women" a little girl gets killed and the tard neighbor is falsely accused,then an underdog lawyer(a woman) unravels the mystery and catches the real killer,freeing frank from the grips of death at the foot of the gas chambers.it practically writes itself. ITS NOT TOO LATE FRATE RAPER,HAVE HIM TURN HIMSELF IN AND WE CAN MAKE MILLIONS!!!! killin two birds with one stone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law After reading up about the case, they knew it was that guy. They just needed DNA and a warrant....Frank turning himself in would have been fucking awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law In high school Frank was forced to take ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE for 5 years........Dude speaks english but he sounds like he just got off the boat....upon hearing this i asked her normal brother if his Portuguese was stronger then his english. Dude turns to his dad and says some shit......they start laughing. Dude turns back to me and says.................."my dad said 5 years of esl couldn't teach him english....everyone argued with me...I kept telling them 18 years of use speaking portuguese couldn't teach him not to ask for seconds....waste of tax money" As this was going on Frank walked by the garage eating a hotdog.....WE ALL LAUGHED Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pissdrunkwhat?! Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law lets see pictures of your portuguese fiance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leland Palmer Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law yo you need to get Frank cooking. only based god can up his swag http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvfoF0Bhc2w Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law lets see pictures of your portuguese fiance! nope Dude Frank only cooks on the Foremen grill....no stirring needed! swag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law aight so Frank has quite an extensive palette when it comes to eating............hamburgers,hotdogs,pizza,chips,icecream and popcicles THATS IT... let me tell you about this fuckers table manors they dont exist His mom has cried over it, she doesn't know where he learned to eat like a pig, anytime they tell him to breath,or put a shirt on at the table he freaks out and stomps off talking all kinds of shit.Her normal brother and I will fist fight over who has to sit next to him at family shit......he's like a weight loss program called GROSS ME THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT SMACKING SHIT! Never seen this du eat fruit,or veggies either.If it doesn't have Ketchup on it or Franks red hot,he don't eat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earmuffs Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mackfatsoe Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law As this was going on Frank walked by the garage eating a hotdog.....WE ALL LAUGHED hahahahaha oh shit, this story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law i should get a relax shirt for frank,he is a man of leisure but if you get him talking... in typical portuguese fashion he starts bitching about how hard he works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cro. Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law you should provide video footage of frank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law If it doesn't have Franks red hot,he don't eat it. Well, this is just brand name loyalty, him being a Frank and all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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