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My semi retarded brother in-law


Frate_Raper

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

Frank is not into anything that is not portuguese, he's a brain washed son of immigrants. Rides are you fucking kidding me?

 

 

Frank asked to go see Lord of the Rings with some of his younger cousins and his normal brothers...they took him, when that Golem thing jumped off he got so afraid he ran the fuck out and took the subway home.

 

 

I was at the house mashing out some left overs when dude came home and told me "i'll sleep nothing tonight cause of that ting"

 

 

 

he was like 28

 

The Lord of the Rings is Portuguese? So there is hope to take him to the ROM. Let's wait till they are filming an episode of breakfast television, put him in a oz t-shirt and set him loose on the set. We could make the day of millions.

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

My goofball older brother begged me for some acid when I had a bunch. I gave some for him to share with his friend, just a few hits, 4 tops. I knew it was a bad idea because his friend is a cokehead scumfuck and they usually get into highly intoxicated trouble when they're together. Well he ended up taking all 4 hits when they were blacked out coked up etc, I get a call at 5am from my brothers friend (not the cokehead one, another good friend who he had seen that night.) To cut to the chase, my bro got in an argument with the owner of the bar and proceeded to steal $400 somehow. The police arrested him in front.

 

I went to the station and was allowed to get his stuff before he went to central bookings. The pigs were OK in that they let me get his shit, but when they went to get his sig of consent he was just screaming as loud and angrily as he could at the cop, some real nonsensical jibberish. Furious, nonsensical jibberish.

 

LSD is meant for responsible, consenting adults.

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

Hater Franks not like an out of control tard, he just does awesome shit....like if were to get him interviewed on B.T he'd sweat and say something dumbdiculious then bolt.

 

 

 

So my man Frank LOVEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS the porn, it's his everything. 7 years ago he went on a vacation with his parents. Normal brother in law is being a 17 year old and looking through his closet for some hockey shit,yeah right.

 

He comes to get me to see the unholly amount of skin flicks and mags franky has amassed.

He had rubbermaid tote containers neatly stacked from the floor to the ceiling FILLED with binders or porn mags, in plastic sleeves.

 

He was buying two, one to beat it too and another in plastic.....the dvd's were numbering into the 100's.....my lady had never watched a porn until that fateful day, it was a day etched into all our minds as it was the day we found out of Franks love of large black men violating small blonde teen runaways.

 

Her brother hit play on the dvd player and it was almost que'ed up to a large gorilla choking this girl with runny make up....my lady freaked out and made him turn it off.She was so upset that this was going on in the house she was living in she wanted to move like that second.

 

 

So I questioned Franks love of print media pronz? wtf I say why doesn't he use a computer like the rest of us sexual deviants......but that is another story!

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

Ok I've been saving the shit out of this story.

 

We noticed Franks phone ringing an awful lot for about 3 weeks, lots of secret phone calls, hiding in dark rooms etc.

 

Frank used to cause alot of drama by calling his aunt in another city and talking mad shit about everyone, then she'd call and all this lame drama would jump off. This all stopped after he threatened her son in law and daughter, remember "stop fucking my daddy"

 

 

So a few weeks of really odd Frank. He even started smoking, and SOME DATESSSSSS????? We didnt believe it either.

 

SOMETHING WENT VERY WRONG

 

 

OH SHIT did Frank kill another little girl? did he get fired for sexual harassment? whats up? My girl would try talking to her mom and she would be bugging out saying nothings going on....................we knew something was up she was in his room, he was crying and she was crying WTF? this went on for a week or two.

 

The awesomeness that is Frank came thundering down like Frank running down the stairs my sons!

 

 

He got hooked on calling party lines, he made some friends....went on some dates, possibly even lost his v card.

 

I was shocked, and stoked until I found out that this lucky girl was a hooker, well more of a group of them that were exploiting Frank and sucked up his savings account in less then a month.He couldn't pay his whooping 3000 cell phone bill......keep in mind his only expenses are pizza,porno and coffee and he's had a job since he was 14.

 

 

In true portuguese fashion his fam tried sugar coating this, saying it was massages, and phone sex and they ripped him off.Little by little the truth came out.

 

My theory is that it was one really smart hooker from an AD or he started fucking them them crack heads at the end of the block and had a whole bunch of em....either way grooossssss

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

So remember "stop fucking my daddy"???? Well the guy that started that was in town for a birthday party this weekend. We all sit down to eat and Frank is nowhere to be found............

 

I see him lurking in the shadows by the front door when BAM the sweatiest I've seen frank in all his glory of boxer shorts appears.

 

He reused to eat with us as the guy that was fucking his daddy was there.

 

Out of no where my girl blurts out, "really though its for the best, eating around frank is terrible" to which everyone agreed and shared a Frank story.

 

 

 

 

 

So daddy fucker and his chick are hanging out for a bit, were in the living room and we can hear Frank pacing around. He thunders down the stairs dressed up to go........his mom starts questioning him and he begins to tell us about his plans to "watch the game with his buddies at this guys house" his eye was even twitching maybe he got sweat in it, I dunno.

 

he dips

 

 

Next day I meet some other family members for a brunch thing.......and the one kids talking about WWE and how Frank went to see it at a theatre by himself last night.Normal brother and I placed bets on what he was really doing........normal bro won:( I said wondering around talking to himself again.

 

 

 

oh I told you people this right? I've been told from dudes on the block that when Franks upset he paces around fully talking to himself, dudes have even told me about the radical shit he was saying.

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

i'll just put this here

 

"I was a party earlier on and we were out in the garden having a barbeque. We were outside having a few drinks and some food and one of us noticed some guy was looking at us from his bathroom window. The bloke seemed to be cleaning his bathroom but was topless and when we looked at him he didn't seem to care and just kept staring at us and when we waved he waved back. After a while we realised he had Downs syndrome so we felt a bit sorry for him so stopped interacting with him.

 

Later on I was cooking some sausages on the barbeque and talking to my friend and out of the corner of my eye I saw the same guy at a different window from behind the curtain looking at us and licking his lips. When I put my full attention on him I saw he was completely naked and was playing with himself whilst looking at us all. I was shocked and told everyone what was happening and we all looked at him and he still continued to play with himself, and if anything it spurred him on. His wanking technique wasn't very good, all he did was focus his thumb and index finger on the very tip of his dick and just did a standard wanking technique but his willy wasn't even erect so I don't see how he could have enjoyed it.

 

After everyone was alerted to this event we all just stood up and looked at him and the guy whose house we were at started shouting at him telling him to fuck off. All this attention spurred him on and he played with himself even harder whilst looking into all of our innocent faces. A few minutes later, his other downy friend turned up at the bathroom window and just kept looking at us. All this kept on going on for quite a while so we just got a bit bored with all the commotions and carried on with what we were doing. Every now and then we would look up at the house and see him there either playing with his flacid member or just casually staring at us. It was surreal at first but we got used to it. I was quite annoyed because it put me off my food. What a wanker."

 

 

Flicks or it didn't happen? sure...

 

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