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My semi retarded brother in-law


Frate_Raper

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

"all he did was focus his thumb and index finger on the very tip of his dick and just did a standard wanking technique but his willy wasn't even erect so I don't see how he could have enjoyed it"

 

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

So my wedding shower is jumping off, in the Portuguese culture it's a big shindig,male an female party gifts etc.

 

 

My lady and I man the door and thank everyone for coming and hand out gifts back. I turn to her and ask if she thinks Franks coming....she is quick to spit "I fucking hope not,like how much stress does my mother need".....

 

Like as the words exit her mouth I hear a thundering sound of a fat retarded man running up a flight of steps.......FRANKKKKKK appears at the door,sweaty as fuck looking more out of it then normal. For this semi formal/casual event he has dawned his finest sleeveless green 3 xl shirt,black skin tight jeans tucked in to his socks and his trusty hip sack around his chest circa 1991 gangster, a beard of 4-5 days over his multiple chins.....

 

BUT

 

he's carrying an envelope!!!! what the fuck he brought us a gift?

 

We stand there waiting to greet him when he quickly pushes past us.....his mother stops him and sends him back....

 

My whiz is the best she "frank thanks for coming,oh you didn't have to get us anything" as she motions to the bright blue envelope.....

 

FRANK"i didn't this is uncle so and sos belated birthday gift"..........

 

Whiz"ooooohhhkaeee,enjoy the party"

 

I'm laughing like just dying,when he runs off like a 4 year old in to the crowd of people.

 

Not that funny right?I get it......buuuuuuuuutttttttttt We find out from her normal brother why he didn't get us anything,and why he was 2 hours late and wouldn't take part in his sisters wedding.

 

 

In preparation for our party we bought a few things and stocked them in her parents house, pop,chips some beer etc.....ALL OF WHICH WENT FUCKING MISSING,well minus the beer. We then found out Frank had been gorging on the food and shit we bought......so we replaced it,this time hiding it in the garage......THE FAT MOTHER FUCKER FOUND IT.

 

So her normal brother and I built a drop wall with shelves so we could stock our food there and so Ma dukes could in fact buy things in bulk again with out Frank eating all of it.

 

So the night before the Shower my father inlaw,some uncles and my brother inlaw roll in to the house to get some shit to take to the hall....they find Frank coming in the back door with two one bottles of pop and two bags of chips,these are full size people, so my father inlaw freakkkkks out yelling at the fat fuck to not only put the stuff back BUT TO PUT SOME CLOTHES ON.

 

That fuck fuck ate/drank 140 dollars worth of chips and pop not once but twice....280 FUCKING DOLLARS! and some how translates this into not getting us shit or taking part in his only sisters wedding......LIKE HOW CAN HE DENY US THE COMEDY

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

ive only known 1 dude who had a 'bad trip' and actually did some crazy shit.

 

kid dropped a bunch of L(10-15 hits), went missing for 3 days.. then bunch of friends heard he was arrested in another state.. ended up he pulled up to some kids at a bus stop and pointed a knife at them?

 

"Police say he was high on drugs when they located him. When officers asked him if he was the one who scared the kids he said " Yeah man. Blues eyes with tea on top yo!"

 

 

story: http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/news/local/man-allegedly-threatens-students-at-bus-stop

^^ video is fucking hilarious

Edit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaw5Jhgaq1Q&feature=player_embedded raw footy of him being arrested, cant really hear anything hes saying..

 

 

 

 

My vote. give frank the acid.

 

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

I cant remember if I talked about him going to see 3 different shrinks, to each shrink hes created an alternate life/Frank........It's honestly fucking amazing.

 

Life one- Frank is the rock that holds his family together,his sister,my soon to be wife, is a raging party girl that screws dudes so loudly at night he cant sleep.His dads a drunk that beats everyone and he pays the bills cause his little brother wont work.

 

Life two- Frank is locked to his room and his money taken from his over bearing mother and we all spend it........his family is ruining is friendships and life so to they can keep him and his money at home......

 

Life three- Franks an out of control womanizing party boy that works so much he needs this party life as a way to relax.

 

 

 

I'm pretty sure this has fallen apart as the shrinks have crossed paths and debunked all of this.....BECAUSE NONE OF THIS IS TRUE.....

 

His sister is a saint and been my whiz for 8 years,his brother is a work horse that flips houses,his dads a savage workaholic that is diabetic and can't drink and Franky boy works four days a week as a janitor.

 

 

When the paper work from his Doc was passed along to us so we could explain it to her parents we were DYING!

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

yeah^^ grd's quoted story with pics made me cringe pretty badly

 

i feel for you, but yeah, i do feel like franks lurk everywhere

my experience with the 'frank' type wasn't about dude being fat, but instead dude being a junkie, and ripping off critically needed pain meds from desperately ill family members.

 

they suck, i had no regrets when my family cut our 'frank' off permanently.

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

65684656.jpg

 

Co worker frank

 

Has many famous lines we constantly make fun if him for.

"you can't put a price on money."

"you can't fool a fool."

Constantly tries to burn people and in effect burns himself.

 

He has a thick southern accent but swears he's born and raised in SD.

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

Both.

 

I guess a few years ago he was in a fight w someone and thought it was done, turned to walk away and caught a hammer to the dome. His skull looks like he caught a meat tenderizer to the head... He's a pretty good dude tho. Just very... Difficult to be around for an extended amt of time.

 

He def has the retard strength... And hell be the first one to tell you he does haha

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Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law

 

Sometimes he starts talking way too fast because excited to get his words and it just turns into an indecipherable jumble of words.

 

Think about don Vito from CKY/Jackass

 

And then he'll get super frustrated when you ask him to slow down and repeat.

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