Awkward moments

[vanfullofretards]

My girlfriend is givin me dome when my cell rings downstairs so my step mom decides to run upstairs and just walks right into my room while im tryin to flop my dick back into my shorts.

Like most step moms shes fuckin crazy and she just walks 3 feet in hands me my phone and leaves without a word

[CityonSMASH...]

I once had an awkward moment.

 

Just to know how it feels.

 

[autoteller]

fucked the hell out of a girl that i met online. repeatedly. on about the third time she was bragging about how she was going to get a tattoo of a burning mosque because she hated muslims so much, and how her husband she was cheating on is a blackwater helicopter pilot. i then told her about my girlfriend who knew i was banging her loose who happened to BE muslim.

 

she ran out in her panties and the rest of her clothes held up to cover her tits. scoooooooore. she called back and wanted to fuck again though.

 

but that was more awkward for her, not me. it's just a good story i like to tell.

[IOU]

My friends and I are acid at this semi private beach spot. I see my boy talking to this couple and I run over to them. Crouching down and springing up all in one motion while saying "ARE YOU ON SHROOMS??!?!?"... Silence... Waves crashing.. Awkward stares.. IOU running back to where he came from.

[MrChupacabra]

Nothing beats telling a "your mom" joke when the mother is actually dead. Bonus points if it was recently.

I accidentally dropped a "your mom" joke to Phil Hartman's kid when i was 15 or so. I instantly realized what i had done and just froze up. I felt terrible about that one.

[and...]

back around the 8th grade my soccer team was playing an all girls team, the Sharks. My team had been playing, and losing to the Sharks for several years (damn girls were good! plus they had all hit puberty before us kids) and it was around the time that we started to be able to kick their ass, and since we all basically went to school together, about the time that we were beginning to get "interested" in one another.

so, opening kick-off, the ball gets kicked up in the air and is heading right towards with the Sharks not far behind. No big right? I start winding up to kick the shit out of that ball, and right at that moment when i begin to swing my leg up, i let rip a tremendous fart! Loud as can be.

Every single one of my teammates, the mature 8th grade boys we were, fell to the field laughing their asses off.

I of course missed the ball, and with not an opposing player even standing on the field, the ball was promptly taken down the field and put in the back of our goal while i stood there. Alone, in my cloud of flatulence and shame...

 

 

My freshman year of college i was living in the dorms with three other guys. Two of them were from HI and loved to blaze, the other was a rich kid from Napa Valley who had never smoked in his life. First semester was a blast, we blazed up a storm everyday until we inevitably got caught one day. So from there on out our non-smoking roommate put in effect a no toking policy in our room. Needless to say that didn't stop us much, just made us sneakier..

So one day i come back from class and the room is empty. a few minutes later my other chronic roommate comes back and points out that it's almost 4:20pm and we have the room to ourselves. So of course we pack a bowl, take a few bong rips, mask the smell, and settle down to play a bit of halo. A few games in (and mind you we're in the zone) and i look up to see our anti-toking roommate walk in, and let us know that he is going to report us to the hall R.A.

Assuming he just walked in saw us all stoned, because the room did not smell at all, I promptly lied and told him we smoked in a friend's room.

It turns out, that the entire time we were in the room, smoking, talking shit about him, talking about how we smoke all the time in here and he had no clue, he was actually laying in his bed (they were bunk beds and he had made a little cove out of his by hanging a sheet around the outside) listening to us the entire time....

[MedicineCabinet]

hah

 

what a buzzkilling snitch

you shouldve hurt him

 

& reno, those socially awkward penguin images had me dying. that one & depression dog always kill me

[MedicineCabinet]

edit* doooble poost

[DurkStevens]

i work in retail and one night i was closing and i went on my break and when i came back my boss came up to me and was talking about how this prostitute went into the bathroom and was cleaning herself in the bathroom but it isnt a single person bathroom, like 4 or 5 people could use it at a time so my boss walked in and saw her with the skirt being held up by her teeth.\scrubbing her pusss and shit. and long story short she got kicked out. but then after she told be the story after joking around i was like "well was she hot??" and she said no and i went back to work. then later i was like "are you sure?" and she was like "*****, lets put it this way this bitch was so ugly that she makes me look like beauty queen of the year" not thinking like i dumb ass i was like "Oh shit, that bad?". what a mistake...i just meant like oh so she really is busted but it came out really wrong..my boss is ugly as fuck tho...haha.

[rice eyes]

I worked in a meat department in a grocery store in high school. walked by a really good looking girl and slid and spilt a tray of blood on me. hell yeah

 

i am the deafinition of awkward

[Nice Pants]

 

I went on a date with a girl that I had hooked up with at a bar, it was like our third date and without letting me know she invited her mom. That was a little awkward.

 

 

HAHAHAHH! Please tell us how the date went!

[Nice Pants]

Some people are just really uptight as a result its really easy for awkward moments to occur.

[famecrazy]

Just this:

 

[war terror]

handshaking can be very awkward.

[DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER]

fucked the hell out of a girl that i met online. repeatedly. on about the third time she was bragging about how she was going to get a tattoo of a burning mosque because she hated muslims so much, and how her husband she was cheating on is a blackwater helicopter pilot. i then told her about my girlfriend who knew i was banging her loose who happened to BE muslim.

 

she ran out in her panties and the rest of her clothes held up to cover her tits. scoooooooore. she called back and wanted to fuck again though.

 

but that was more awkward for her, not me. it's just a good story i like to tell.

 

 

 

 

If that's even true, then you stick your dick in some fucking morons.

 

I think my head would explode if I ever had a conversation like that with somebody.

[DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER]

back around the 8th grade my soccer team was playing an all girls team, the Sharks. My team had been playing, and losing to the Sharks for several years (damn girls were good! plus they had all hit puberty before us kids) and it was around the time that we started to be able to kick their ass, and since we all basically went to school together, about the time that we were beginning to get "interested" in one another.

so, opening kick-off, the ball gets kicked up in the air and is heading right towards with the Sharks not far behind. No big right? I start winding up to kick the shit out of that ball, and right at that moment when i begin to swing my leg up, i let rip a tremendous fart! Loud as can be.

Every single one of my teammates, the mature 8th grade boys we were, fell to the field laughing their asses off.

I of course missed the ball, and with not an opposing player even standing on the field, the ball was promptly taken down the field and put in the back of our goal while i stood there. Alone, in my cloud of flatulence and shame...

 

 

My freshman year of college i was living in the dorms with three other guys. Two of them were from HI and loved to blaze, the other was a rich kid from Napa Valley who had never smoked in his life. First semester was a blast, we blazed up a storm everyday until we inevitably got caught one day. So from there on out our non-smoking roommate put in effect a no toking policy in our room. Needless to say that didn't stop us much, just made us sneakier..

So one day i come back from class and the room is empty. a few minutes later my other chronic roommate comes back and points out that it's almost 4:20pm and we have the room to ourselves. So of course we pack a bowl, take a few bong rips, mask the smell, and settle down to play a bit of halo. A few games in (and mind you we're in the zone) and i look up to see our anti-toking roommate walk in, and let us know that he is going to report us to the hall R.A.

Assuming he just walked in saw us all stoned, because the room did not smell at all, I promptly lied and told him we smoked in a friend's room.

It turns out, that the entire time we were in the room, smoking, talking shit about him, talking about how we smoke all the time in here and he had no clue, he was actually laying in his bed (they were bunk beds and he had made a little cove out of his by hanging a sheet around the outside) listening to us the entire time....

 

 

 

 

 

Your stories smell like bullshit.

[gnarwalker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnbSpOB_Ojw

feeling up your mom is always awkward

[shaolinmasta]

haha some of these stories had me cracking up.

 

One time I was at my friends girlfriend's party I was about 17/18 at the time anyways we were all standing around this bonfire and I was to the back a little bit there was this chick infront of me who had a pretty decent rump so I grabbed her ass the chick turned around and it turned out to be the girlfriend's mum I was like "oh sorry" and walked away mind you her mum was pretty smoking but within about half an hour everyone knew and were laughing there asses off at me.

[system tyrant]

went karaoke with my friends for his grad party, his mom bought us all drinks, mom got wasted and sat on my lap and whispered giberish im my ear.

now when ever i go his house his mom hardly shows face

[DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER]

haha some of these stories had me cracking up.

 

One time I was at my friends girlfriend's party I was about 17/18 at the time anyways we were all standing around this bonfire and I was to the back a little bit there was this chick infront of me who had a pretty decent rump so I grabbed her ass the chick turned around and it turned out to be the girlfriend's mum I was like "oh sorry" and walked away mind you her mum was pretty smoking but within about half an hour everyone knew and were laughing there asses off at me.

 

 

 

So let me get this straight... you go around grabbing random bitches asses at parties?

[DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnbSpOB_Ojw

feeling up your mom is always awkward

 

 

 

Why the fuck would the mom even go along with that?

 

This has to be fake.

[Miley Cyrus]

lol, i think its real.

[famecrazy]

haha

[!RENOBOF]

It is real.

[Toiletseat]

had a little to much vitamine K and trying to walk home like a robot, sitting down on a bench and pissed my pants full in front of some girls, drugs are cool.

[Feed Yer Ego]

ah man. one time right after i just graduated hs i was nailing this girl at her criblet. and her mom knocks on the door when we're fucking. and is like "elizabeth put on your clothes and come out here right now!"

 

and neither of us had a car. so her mom is just like "he has to go right now i don't give a shit i'll drive him home"

 

wasn't just an awkward moment

 

it was like an awkward 15 minutes that just got worse

 

chick decided she'd sit in the back seat next to me

 

and she's still horny as shit and rubbin me up and down and making me flex my muscles and shit sayin "oh wow that's so big!" and her mom probably totally thought she was all up on my dick mannnnnn shit was ridiculoid

 

 

she still snuck me in a bunch of times later on to bang her out while her mom was home

[Banana fishd]

I was in the beginning stages of a romance with

this babe, and he was telling me his grandpa just died

and the funeral was this upcoming Saturday.

My annoying habbit is pressing questions, so in consequence

he talked on and on about his gramps and how much

he meant to him. That goes on for an extended period

of time and he ends the conversation asking me when

I want to go out on a date with him and I says not really

thinking oh Saturday is good with me. There was an awkward

silence and I realized what I had just done.

Dude finally tried to pass it off as a joke

like ‘Are you asking me to choose you over my dead

grandfather? You’re cute and all…but damn…what

an asshole…I bet you haven’t even been listening

this whole time.’

I felt really bad and tried to explain that I am just poor

with scheduling and numbers, and facts, annnd dating.

He was the one that got away.

[GZOO]

when i was 5 ish my mom took me shopping with her and i lost track of her for a moment and jumped on some strange ladies cart and started shaking it and demanding i be taken around but when i looked up at the lady it wasnt my mom and i think that was the first time i ever felt embarrassed. the end.

[sneak]

I was in the beginning stages of a romance with

this babe, and he was telling me his grandpa just died

and the funeral was this upcoming Saturday.

My annoying habbit is pressing questions, so in consequence

he talked on and on about his gramps and how much

he meant to him. That goes on for an extended period

of time and he ends the conversation asking me when

I want to go out on a date with him and I says not really

thinking oh Saturday is good with me. There was an awkward

silence and I realized what I had just done.

Dude finally tried to pass it off as a joke

like ‘Are you asking me to choose you over my dead

grandfather? You’re cute and all…but damn…what

an asshole…I bet you haven’t even been listening

this whole time.’

I felt really bad and tried to explain that I am just poor

with scheduling and numbers, and facts, annnd dating.

He was the one that got away.

 

this sounds painfull!

[juiceposse]

I think I've said this story on here before on another account.

 

I was nailing this chick pretty hard one night after I had snuck in to see her. I would have been maybe 16 at the time. Anyway her mum bursts in the door and I do a commando roll off the bed and crawl into wardrobe and hide their butt naked for like 2 hours while the mum is talking to her daughter about not hurting hurtself etc. She though she was in her room trying to kill herself. She tried to sleep in the same bed as her and ended up sleeping just outside of her room. I came out of the wardrobe still sporting a boner and like a champ got a blowjob afterwards. Sneaking out of their was fucking hard that night.