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El Vergudo

Awkward moments

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whats your most awkward moment?

 

 

mine was when i was dating this one chick, her friend's dad had passed away, and she asked me to go to the funeral with her, so me being the nice guy that i am, i said yea. when we got there, there was not many people at all. 15 people, TOPS. most of them female, a couple of the guy's daughters, and few older ladies, and 3 guys under the age of 60 and then me.

 

turns out the funeral house didnt have any palbearers (or however you spell that word). so when it was time to get the casket out and into the hearst, they asked the 3 guys there and me to do it. i was the only mexican at a black funeral. there were 4 of us carrying a 300+ lb man. and my fingers were slipping from the rail thing on the side of the coffin. had to carry it to the hearst, help carry it out, and help put it over the grave. i almost dropped my end a couple times.

 

it was one of those moments where you cant say no. especially in front of the dead guy's family

 

 

:o :confused:

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I have been a pallbearer at the funeral of someone I never met before. Happens when folks outlive their peers or have no friends or family.

 

I went on a date with a girl that I had hooked up with at a bar, it was like our third date and without letting me know she invited her mom. That was a little awkward.

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I don't think it could get much worse than this

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

dumber.jpg

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Wow. that's as awkward as it comes. So awkward it's ESAWKWARD.

 

ESAWKWARD = Extra Serious Awkward

 

or

 

SPAWKWARD = Specially Proven Awkward event.

 

or

 

EFRAKWARD = Extra Fuckin' Ridiculously Akward

 

and especially

 

TOMAWKWARD = Tom Cruise getting hit with a watergun during interview awkward.

 

awkward-tom-cruise-watergun.jpg

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Wow. that's as awkward as it comes. So awkward it's ESAWKWARD.

 

ESAWKWARD = Extra Serious Awkward

 

or

 

SPAWKWARD = Specially Proven Awkward event.

 

or

 

EFRAKWARD = Extra Fuckin' Ridiculously Akward

 

and especially

 

TOMAWKWARD = Tom Cruise getting hit with a watergun during interview awkward.

 

awkward-tom-cruise-watergun.jpg

 

hahahaha

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Damn, that first one is pretty awkward...

 

I remember one time i was dating this chick about three years ago.. and she and her sister were over at my crib. We were just talking and kicking it in the kitchen with my two other roommates- one of which had the sense of humor of a 17yr old. So my idiot friend decided to be extra immature and hit me in the balls... he somehow ended up hitting me in the stomach and I let out a pretty nasty fart that i had been storing up to release at my own will. I remember just laughing as hard as i could just to make up for the awkwardness... but my laughter was so fucking transparent that they could see right through it and tell that i was mortified. I normally don't give a fuck but i had just started dating this chick and they were both not laughing at all... while my roommates were on the floor dying of laughter. And then they decided to relive the moment two more times reenacting it while i just had a half cocked smile and watched the whole time. I wanted to fucking kill that dude after that... but i laugh about it now.

 

It was bad, but i guess it could be worse had i shit my pants.

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ALright so back in highschool I came home and figured Id rub a quick one out before taking a nap. Problem though...my sisters car was in the driveway. I searched the entire house and she was no where to be found. I must have looked through the house a million times and no sister!!! As odd as it was that her car would be home and she wasnt I finally just though well maybe shes off for a jog. So I got comfy turned on the computer ( which was in the living room ) and brought up a vid that I had recently acquired. Some good asian big titty hardcore...you know gotta get the blood flowin' also I mean no one is home right? so why not just crank up the volume to hear some good screams right? So I hear the noise...like a sigh or breathing...look to might right to see on the couch totally covered by a quilt MY SISTER SLEEPING!!!! before I could turn it off I hear her say in a tired yawning voice " **** are you...watching..porn?" See my family was high on morals so porn was something not accepted. So I click it off fast as shit literally sweating ice cold bullets in my head going FUCK FUCK FUCK. So Im like "no no no stupid JACKASS CKY shit and their random skits" etc etc etc. All the while my pants are still kinda down but the high arm rests of the couch blocked me and and slowing but surely pulled them up without her knowing and just left the house. I didnt return for a couple of hours just to relieve that stressful embarrassment situation.

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not the most awkward moment, but a pretty good one from a month or so ago.

 

back story - the local shitty free paper has a pretty amusing personal listing in the classifieds. it's been in there without fail for years and essentially boils down to this: gay native american in wheel chair with fucked up limbs looking to give BJ's. aight.

 

NO HOMO.

 

so my brother and I are kicking it at the local bar and strike up a conversation with the ladies next to us who happen to be cruising the classifieds - the personals. so seeing an opportunity to make fun of everyone involved, lame girls trolling the classifieds and the grotesquely disabled alike, I make a crack about how she should call up the loser in the wheelchair.

 

mood shifts instantly and the one gets super defensive and points out her former boyfriend at the end of the bar, who’s sitting rather low... prolly cus dude is IN A FUCKING WHEELCHAIR.

 

nuf said.

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When I was like 19 I met this chick who it turned out was good freinds with my cousin Jackie.

I didn't really know my cousins on that side being as I only met them a few times in my life and the last time I seen her was when we were little kids, so this chick thought it'd be cool for all three of us to hang out.

So we hung out, got blazed, came back to my cousins house and we're chillin out on my cousins back porch all blazed and shit and my cousin says something about she has to go hit up the bathroom or whatever and as soon as she goes inside this chick was like "fuck me, now". I'm like "damn, right here? my cousins are inside". She's like "nah it's cool. Jacky won't come out for a while that "bathroom" shit was just an excuse to leave us alone.

 

So I figure this chick knows my cuz alot better than I do, so I'm like fuckit.

We start fucking on one of those long lawnchair jawns that people lay on for getting suntans or whatever. We're doing our thing when what do you know Jackie opens the back door and is frozen in disbelief. There I am, her cousin who she barely knows, with my naked ass hanging out and balls deep inside her homegirl on her back porch. She gives us both the ice grill for a couple seconds, then turns around and goes back inside all pissed off.

Probably extra pissed cause her two little brothers were right inside playing video games and could have also walked in on us.

That shit def ruined my high.

I didn't even bother to finish fucking the broad, I just got dressed and bounced.

 

I never seen any of my cousins from that side since, and hope that I never do.

I'm sure that whole side of the family probably knows this story too.

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Nothing beats telling a "your mom" joke when the mother is actually dead. Bonus points if it was recently.

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I was going out with this girl who came from an extremely religious family (her mom used to be a nun). One night she was giving me head I believe for her first time. I'm known for having terrible farts. Well I tried my hardest to hold it bit there was no holding this one fully in. She was all did you just fart. I did the embarrassing chuckle and said yes.

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I was about 18 or 19 with my dick in my girlfriend.. Then her parents came into the room and chatted with us for a moment. Luckily we had a blanket over us while "watching" a movie. They never knew or never said nothing.

 

It was awkward.

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