i spent a night in lock up at the beginning of the month and i'm sure yall know how that shit gets when you go in drunk and sober up and are stuck staring at blank walls maybe have withdrawals.
thought about my life non-stop. my birthday was coming up (it was the 11th). thought about everything i should/could do. thought i'd start cutting back/weening off and finally blow everyone's mind and quit drinking on my birthday.
after getting bailed out i told my three recovering friends and my recovering crush/shorty/partner-in-weird my plans/thoughts/feels.
did 3 days sober, then had a 40 and a shot.
then did two or three days again.
then the birthdays came.
my sister's on the 8th, bestfriend's on the 9th. sober the 10th. tanked on my bday the 11th.
the 12th i went to my first meeting with shorty. sober sunday.
freaked out monday cuz bad morning. went to the bar and got super trashed. shorty hit me up to hang out and then go to a last call meeting...she get pissed when i told her what had happened...but she was more mad i was being a longwinded bitch about everything and i came off stupid and shit got misread
sober today. even tho i went into a bar. and had a long bus/train trips with many transfers where i could've gotten drinks.
shorty isn't mad anymore and we hung out all night after my long ass transit. can't sleep for shit afterwards tho despite sleeping pills and kava tea
but this movie "You Kill Me" is on about an alcoholic assassin who's crime family sends him outwest to dry out and they hire a guy to make sure he goes to AA meetings and his new legit job