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Alcoholism


Step8

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anxiety issues stemmed from alcohol in general... insecurities from over the years as well.

 

it just ignites a lot of weird shit in my head when i'm like this. everything is misfiring i guess... i know it'll be a lot better in the coming days, but the minutes seem like hours at the moment.

 

i got down two packets of ramen for the day. not the most nutrient packed food, but i needed something in my stomach and that was all that sounded appealing.

 

thanks for the support.

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The alcoholic at home kit = Plendy for roomtemp gatorade sip, dont gulp. water, Pepto liquid or pils, which ever is easier, Natural Vlarian Root for anxitys shackes, and helps premote sleep, melatonin, look inoto sleep-hygyine. mulitiple trashbas preopened for vomit kept ans and over the counter benadryal. you can also try with noise.

 

no try all at works but u got options.

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Binge drinker. Weekend rolls around and its at least two pints of vodka a night. Minimum. Plus whatever else I consume before I fall into a coma.

 

Weekend starts Thursday. Rest of the time its wine and beer and more liquor.

 

Been at it since 13 or so.

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What scares me is that its so ordinary for me. Its hard to do things sober. Fuck all that liver damage or whatever, especially if I get hit by a truck. I'm more worried that I can't just be without. Not so much because of addiction, but habit.

 

I won't even get into the drug abuse.

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day three of kicking.

feeling a lot better... had dinner last night. tried to keep my mind preoccupied, movies and such. had this lucid dream throughout the night that was super weird, vivid and twisted. in and out of sleep, i would know i was dreaming and wake myself, hoping not to fall back into the same dream, but i did. it progressed throughout the night. it was some conspiracy-based theme... weird for sure.

shakes are pretty much gone. appetite isn't in full swing, but it's early in the day to tell.

i'm gonna look at the Meals thread to get it kick started in a bit.

heart rate is fairly normal (for me)...

basically, a LOT better than i was.

 

"one day at a time."

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day four...

ate a full blown lunch and dinner yesterday. Salmon filet, baked potato, salad, and garlic bread for dinner. besides being dizzy and clammy, i feel alright. oh, and, once again, weird fucking lucid nightmares involving paranoia.. waking up drenched in sweat. dizzy today, but i ate breakfast at around 10 and been sipping seltzer water and gatorade. feeling pretty good. mind is still a little tweaked in general, but it's much better. eyes are on the dry side too.

 

 

don't know why i'm really bothering with this. i guess just to document the process and how it went for me... hopefully it helps someone at some point.

thanks again to all the folks who had positive insight/support.

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day four...

ate a full blown lunch and dinner yesterday. Salmon filet, baked potato, salad, and garlic bread for dinner. besides being dizzy and clammy, i feel alright. oh, and, once again, weird fucking lucid nightmares involving paranoia.. waking up drenched in sweat. dizzy today, but i ate breakfast at around 10 and been sipping seltzer water and gatorade. feeling pretty good. mind is still a little tweaked in general, but it's much better. eyes are on the dry side too.

 

 

don't know why i'm really bothering with this. i guess just to document the process and how it went for me... hopefully it helps someone at some point.

thanks again to all the folks who had positive insight/support.

 

does this mean no more drunken facebook chats?

 

 

:(

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