!@#$% Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 checking in and trying to catch up. any word on weapon X..? a steady search for that feel good feeling that you never get again as you did in the beginning-minus a hundred bucks or so honestly-if it landed in front of me now/tmrw/in a week-id take it. forever craving. but this (last 7 months) have been the cleanest ive been in 12 yrs. (a few weeks away) ive put on weight. im super bitchy and miserable. back to zero sex drive. ZERO.. and i feel, fuck that, i KNOW my creative side has dwindled down to bare minimum at best. ive lost some clients because of my attitude.im in pain. so -im really struggling with seeing the benefit to sobriety. (for me,no pills) I had the ability to obtain the legally. i was definitely more pleasant. my work definitely stood out way above anyone elses. i didnt feel lazy I had a lil more drive i was just out a few extra bucks each month. which is the ONLY good i can pick from this because tuition is a muther fucker. im glad i could check in and read the las few pages. no words from weapon yet. i hear on the steady search. was a major reason why giving up pharma was the right thing for me i end up living in a fog or feeling like shit and never quite getting to where i was once. not really worth the chase for me that said, i am still steady smoking daily and things don't seem to be changing on that front good luck to you and yes, tuition sucks. i hope someone can pick up a scholarship somehow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karl_Hungus Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Do not know what a Roxie is but the put mW in escotalipram definitely not an opiate. roxis are Roxicodone (immediate release oxycodone). they come in 15mg and 30mg doses. the 15s are green and the 30s are blue. i'm surprised this isn't common knowledge given that these are hands down the most popular opiate in my neck of the woods next to straight up H. there are smaller dosages (5mg etc), but they usually just referred to as 'oxycodone'. i think they are only available as a generic, hence the no 'roxi' when they are described. i live in San Francisco and in my hood, you cannot walk ten feet w/o someone muttering "roxis" at you. the hood i'm from is the Tenderloin and the micro-hood i'm in is called "pill hill". its always on the move when it comes to the real hustlers, but its always spilling out to the two/three blocks around me. Roxis are the closest thing still available in pharmacies now and 3x "blues" are 90mgs of immediate release oxycodone. 80mg Oxycontin used to be the pill amongst users, but nowadays the pill poppers are all after 30mg roxis. they know these are only way they'll ever get that Oxycontin high. 3x of these are just a tad stronger than an old OC80 with the time release removed. Here's a dosage chart for reference: The Activis generics are shown in the chart above, but there a number of other generics available. One must know what to look for or else you could be taking something stronger (or weaker i suppose) and that could lead to serious, potential life threatening issues. I can post other charts for other generics, but i feel like would go against the intentions of this thread. There is a fine line btwn reference and teaching people HOW to get high. Thats why i didn't post the exact intersection of where pill hill is located even though i'm sure people are savvy enough to figure it out. Moving on... this thread incredible! i've always thought it would be a bummer-thread so i've never checked it out til tonight. i really want to join in, but have 100+ pages to catch up on. i'm really curious about what posters have issues with what drugs/alcohol. i haven't had a drink in over a year personally, and i have issues w/other things now. i'm sure this post has made that painfully obvious... looking frwd to joining in. never in a million years did i think the oontz would be a place to turn to for help, but i feel MUCH more comfortable posting here versus any of those other lame addiction sites. folks here keep it real. those other sites are just too sugar coated and watered down. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMdoubleXL Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 no words from weapon yet. i hear on the steady search. was a major reason why giving up pharma was the right thing for me i end up living in a fog or feeling like shit and never quite getting to where i was once. not really worth the chase for me that said, i am still steady smoking daily and things don't seem to be changing on that front good luck to you and yes, tuition sucks. i hope someone can pick up a scholarship somehow. off subject- we manage to pick up 25k-30k anually in scholarships. tuition and housing runs around 42k but we got 2 years under the belt and she picked up an intern program this summer. she is my reason i know if i didnt have her id be dead or worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 now that painting's out of the question for the next six weeks at minimum i'm finding ways to entertain myself that don't involve old habits. challenging, substantially at times. hope all are well/addressing their demons in here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 been drinking consistently yet havent really been getting drunk. I guess thsi is what responsible drinking is?? usually just several beers and I get sleep no shenanigans. living with my grandpa helps though I cant act a fool around him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 kinda hard because being young a lot of people i know want to do things, but that usually just means going to club and blowing through paychecks. I cant do that shit and girls always tryin to get me to go get crunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 I cant do that and be cool like ima either relax or get buck there is no middle ground. also been smoking only every other weekend or so. much healthier than before. not paranoid and antisocial as much but depression still rears its ugly head despite my effors. working out helps. I dont really want to go back to school but I am just because I have already gone so far. If I quit Ill never go back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plastic Poodle Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Stay up, mane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heather lewis Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 word dudes. keep busy. it's nice out, try to be outside. drink coffee and soda. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 supposedly robin williams had decades of sobriety remember that this is a living problem, drinking is a symptom. face down your demons every day. cheers all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heather lewis Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 true, r.i.p. robin. sucks he could have had 20 more years of great acting and awesome roles. such a shame, addiction affects all from the rich to the poor. I could go to the bar to wash my brain of another terrible work day, but i'll feel much better not hungover. gonna just go to bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedwacko! Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 coffee and death metal 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xen Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 One of my good friends, old drinking buddies, dude taught me how to paint and was a true inspiration with almost six years of sobriety. I'm talking heroin, booze, pills, every skull and crossbones in the room he just put down but I guess the demons became too much and for whatever reason, he jumped off the wagon. He has a broken neck they had to remove his spleen has laceration to kidney and adrenal gland. Whole left side rib cage and collar bone is broke. He had a collapsed lung. Right now he is in a six hour surgery to plate his ribs. He rolled his truck right after he left my house. I feel like a complete asshole for letting him leave. Fuck it all i guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xen Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 coffee and death metal this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 it is not your fault that he made that choice. though understandable, try not to blame yourself too hard. if he was going to relapse your intervention/nonintervention would likely not have made a difference. -------------------------------- over here, i've been really fucking struggling lately. i feel lonely and really just out of touch with "normal" people, childhood friends included. my friends are beginning to move in with their boys/girls and marrying, and i'm confronting the fact that a path like that isn't for me now, or possibly for quite some time. as we all get older, that divide between single/transient and my soon-to-be married friends is growing and growing. when i was drinking, i thought i would take that path too, i was just being drunk + delusional, but damn if that delusion isn't nice sometimes. the answer could be "find new friends!" but that is also something i've always struggled with. a drink and some delusion sound nice right now. at least i recognize it for what it is. i have a wedding this weekend, not really looking forward to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heather lewis Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I know that struggle, it's weird. But no matter who you hang around, just be around positive people who make you happy, that's all that matters. just aim for being content, life's a journey, not a goal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 He rolled his truck right after he left my house. I feel like a complete asshole for letting him leave. Fuck it all i guess. the most you can do is support people they have to make their own choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Smith Doe Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 life's a journey, not a goal. Damn, second time I've read that statement in less than 24 hours. I like it! Thank you! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 weapon x ever check in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 haven't checked in for the last 3 months..... still sober, 7 years coming up in 2 months. had a job interview last week which will put me back to the same earning power I had 6 years ago when I quit drinking, got laid off and had to struggle from making 80k a year to 10$ an hour.......that was not enough to make me pick up. I have lost family, friends and literally had to struggle to stay on track but I never picked up. By the end of the month I will have my second child, a daughter and I know that she will only see the best of me. I credit that to my sobriety. Stay up naggers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Good stuff man, stay up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 only had three beers last weekend to me that is good! Went to a sporting event and had two beers and one after. Still drinking yes, getting wasted, no. Havent blacked out in almost three months so thats good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toiletseat Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i kill for meow mix Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 after a 8 or 9 year hiatus of 12 oz saw this thread and finally felt like posting. i have finally quit heroin and methadone after an 11 year habit of 3 to 4 grams a day , the only thing i miss really is the hustle i was living in northern california and heroin is pretty easy to get i might add towards the end i was also mainlining ice and my habit eventually landed me on the streets which was terribly depressing . so i decided to do something with myself my girl bless her heart would jst cry her eyes out when she saw me and eventually it ripped us apart which sent me down the tubes i remeber doing gram shots trying to kill myself i was torn up mentally physically emotionally . my girl begged me to move back to tennessee she would bring me food clothing let me stay at her house sometimes and was just down for a nigguh when i needed her .. so two months ago i moved back here to tennessee been clean and im just doing me ive eliminated all old friends and using buddies and people who used to buy drugs from me . heroin stole my family friends and the love of my life from me luckily shes loyal as fuck and still has something to do with me ,,, this is a brief summary im glad to be clean feels good 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Hope all's well folks... still at it. So stoked for Fall... been a relatively hot summer here and it leaves me with a lot of idle time when it's baking too hard to skate or do much of anything. I also become pretty irritable when it's hot. We've had a few Fall-ish days recently and there was a noticeable improvement in my general state of mind. There were a few days where it was bloody warm out and no one was around to find some water to swim in. The idea of copping a 40 definitely crossed my mind... didn't amount to much, though. Not sure what any of this has to do with anything. I hope this finds y'all well and all that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deine Mudder Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Keep it up, CK! Kicking that habit after 11 years must be something.. POZ - can't remember if I read your story / how it went exactly. It's autum-ish here and the days are getting shorter, and old "friends" hit the bar earlier and earlier. I don't join them, as it's so dumb to pay high prices for non-alcoholic stuff in bars - and most of all because I really can't stand their drunk babble, the same stories told for the 100th time, etc. etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 @cryptkeeper good to hear that, it sounds like you have every reason to stay with this .. it's beautiful & worth it. with you guys on being happy it's fall. so many great outdoors stuff to do .. so little time for sitting inside and/or thinking about old habits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 after a 8 or 9 year hiatus of 12 oz im glad to be clean feels good with a registration in 2007 you must be posting from the future. but fo real. good for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i kill for meow mix Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 haha yeah.... i just looked at that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i kill for meow mix Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 but ive been trolling this site way before 07 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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