Harvey Wallbanger Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 “Case report: The patient was a 15-year-old girl employed in a local bar. She was admitted to hospital after a knife fight involving her, a former lover and a new boyfriend. Who stabbed whom was not quite clear but all three participants in the small war were admitted with knife injuries. The girl had some minor lacerations of the left hand and a single stab-wound in the upper abdomen. Under general anaesthesia, laparotomy was performed through an upper midline abdominal incision to reveal two holes in the stomach. These two wounds had resulted from the single stab-wound through the abdominal wall. The two defects were repaired in two layers. The stomach was noted empty at the time of surgery and no gastric contents were seen in the abdomen. Nevertheless, the abdominal cavity was lavaged with normal saline before closure. The condition of the patient improved rapidly following routine postoperative care and she was discharged home after 10 days. Precisely 278 days later the patient was admitted again to hospital with acute, intermittent abdominal pain. Abdominal examination revealed a term pregnancy with a cephalic fetal presentation. The uterus was contracting regularly and the fetal heart was heard. Inspection of the vulva showed no vagina, only a shallow skin dimple was present below the external urethral meatus and between the labia minora. An emergency lower segment caesarean section was performed under spinal anaesthesia and a live male infant weighing 2800 g was born… …While closing the abdominal wall, curiosity could not be contained any longer and the patient was interviewed with the help of a sympathetic nursing sister. The whole story did not become completely clear during that day but, with some subsequent inquiries, the whole saga emerged. The patient was well aware of the fact that she had no vagina and she had started oral experiments after disappointing attempts at conventional intercourse. Just before she was stabbed in the abdomen she had practised fellatio with her new boyfriend and was caught in the act by her former lover. The fight with knives ensued. She had never had a period and there was no trace of lochia after the caesarean section. She had been worried about the increase in her abdominal size but could not believe she was pregnant although it had crossed her mind more often as her girth increased and as people around her suggested that she was pregnant. She did recall several episodes of lower abdominal pain during the previous year. The young mother, her family, and the likely father adapted themselves rapidly to the new situation and some cattle changed hands to prove that there were no hard feelings. Comments A plausible explanation for this pregnancy is that spermatozoa gained access to the reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract. It is known that spermatozoa do not survive long in an environment with a low pH (Jeffcoate1975), but it is also known that saliva has a high pH and that a starved person does not produce acid under normal circumstances (Bernards & Bouman 1976). It is likely that the patient became pregnant with her first or nearly first ovulation otherwise one would expect that inspissated blood in the uterus and salpinges would have made fertilization difficult. The fact that the son resembled the father excludes an even more miraculous conception.” via BoingBoing Cliff notes: Girl blows dude, swallows, gets stabbed in stomach by former boyfriend when he walks in, sperm travels through stab wound and impregnates her. 15 years later, Tease asks us if this can happen, and we steer him wrong. Sorry dude. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnitzel Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 woah! hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
|O__________o|-robojones Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrChupacabra Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Wait, so let me get this straight: two dudes got into a knife fight over a girl who doesn't even have a vagina? That 15 year old must've gave some serious head /nopedo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boxcarrapist Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Dont play with knives kids you might get a girl preggers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HydrogenPeroxide Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Haha, Tease. That dude totally grew up on this board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Would never have happened if dude had stabbed her at least 5 more times in the chest. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I seen TEASE up in Japan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christo-f Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Would never have happened if dude had stabbed her at least 5 more times in the chest. Best post ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 yeah, i just woke up and i'm laughing my ass off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 /wipes tear :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dowmagik Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 tease is on some Nostradamus shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Wait, so let me get this straight: two dudes got into a knife fight over a girl who doesn't even have a vagina? That 15 year old must've gave some serious head /nopedo. This. But damn man, Tease knew...he fuckin knew Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trill Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 i like that i knew what this thread was about as soon as i read the title Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouMad.GIF Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 wow, mabee he actually has abs now too... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 MOO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLICKCLACKONER Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 And amps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrChupacabra Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 OLA OLA OLA KEEP IT RAIL!!!! YAO MING?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohnoone Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 those were the days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abcs Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 i think whats really important here is that cattle changed hands.. There are no hard feelings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Wallbanger Posted February 2, 2010 Author Share Posted February 2, 2010 I wonder if the ex who did the stabbing got any cattle. He played a pretty major role in the pregnancy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasfacevictm Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 And so it was written... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAR Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 This is epic. Has seeking seen this thread yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.hopeless. Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 hahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GucciCondom Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 LOL I just went to make this same exact post. But I was going to say "Guys - Tease was right!" Half empty/half full I guess haha but I'm glad I decided to search real quick before I posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mynameaintbic Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 this is epic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Wallbanger Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 LOL I just went to make this same exact post. But I was going to say "Guys - Tease was right!" Half empty/half full I guess haha but I'm glad I decided to search real quick before I posted. Hahaha... that's awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 50million Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 wait.....girl had no vagina? yet had two boyfriends? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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