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dear baby mama

 

for once i can thank you for your lack of puncatlity. you being late saved my and my daughters from being in the grand stands at yesterdays air race. u may have saverd us from harm by your lack of smarts and for this i thank you..

 

souls aka your baby daddy

 

 

dear lee

 

 

rip in peace mr race pilot your actions saved many of people and a few of my friends from death..

 

souls one of your fans

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dear complex "media bar"...

 

the sooner you fuck off the better...

 

you're like a fuckin' bad smell aboot these parts...

 

 

dear rolf...

 

you let yourself doon the night... and everyone else...

 

time to call it a day with this behaviour... you don't like it yourself, and neither does any cunt else...

 

you can only tell yourself you can get away with it "because you're young" for so long...

 

 

 

dear lassie in the boozer...

 

you have the fuckin' most enormoose rear end i have ever seen...

 

fuckin' horney horses would've taken a step back fae that...

 

i could rest my pint on one cheek...

 

when you walked up the stairs it looked like two bairns (children) fighting over a blanket...

 

 

 

 

that must give you a healthy sare back... or sare tits or a sare somethin' fuck...

 

knees maybe? no?

 

right i'm oot...

 

and tell me to stop bein' a fuckin' bell end...

 

 

rolf haggis

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dear souls

the homie was there working the pits when it happened. Has pics of before, during, and after. wont talk about it at all. crazy shit

 

dear rolf

big ass a good thing or bad?

 

dear cops

running up on me ready to draw guns yelling what happened back there wont get you a non attitude having response. especially when it took 2 of you to try and get me down on the ground for something that you over reacted about.

 

dear friend

I know I should just accept that and go with it, but Im not there yet. oh well

 

dear dmv

you suck

 

---->needsmoararrows almighty<---

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Dear Work,

 

y is it that you give me the worst customer service customers ever!!!

if it wasnt for big bowels of kush and a hot gf id go on a murder streak.

there is no reason y u should treat soeone with so much disrespect for no

apperant reason other than that you are unhappy with your own life and wanna

ruin mine. but its cool youll get yours if you arent already getting it!! lol

 

grumpysalesconsultantoner!!

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Dear Skype,

 

please stop being daft, it's very annoying.

 

-grd

 

 

Dear Neighbours,

 

Just because I've managed to not kill my cat yet doesn't mean I qualify as a veterinary expert. If you're concerned about the well being of your cat, take it to a vet and stop asking me dumb fucking questions.

 

-grd

 

 

Dear people in my life,

 

Do you all get together and have weekly meetings to try and figure out elaborate ways to annoy me? Because you're doing a fucking stand up job, every last one of you. Cunts.

 

fuck you, yeah, me.

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Dear grd

 

I get that with mates sometimes, dunno what their problem is, maybe I am just a grumpy cunt.

 

Decy

 

Dear New Job

 

Thanks for the easy first day, you seem good and I feel like a boss with 2 monitors for my computer.

 

Decy

 

 

Dear interviwer for the job my wife is going for

 

give her the job, life will be so much more hunky dory because those hours you are advertising fit perfectly.

 

Come on you know you want to

 

please

 

cheers

Decy

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Dear snowflakes,

 

congratulations!! I'm going to need details...sex, weight, length and pictures. Mainly super cute pictures!!

 

broody grd

 

 

Dear Decy,

 

I find punching helps an immense amount, I highly recommend getting a heavy bag in the house.

Congrats on the new job and I'll keep my fingers crossed for Mrs.D!

Did you go to Breakin' the Bay this weekend? It was pretty rad.

Annnnd, have you seen they fucked up the NCH boards?

 

-grd

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Dear Decy,

 

I'm not sure if I'm 'Portside this weekend, I might be in London annoying Chops...but if I am I'll definitely see you there. One of my friends is involved in it. It's always a good day.

 

-grd

 

 

 

Dear Tuesday,

 

you were very unexpectedly awesome, just what I needed and the week's only gonna get better.

 

- /optimisticoner

 

 

Dear Rain,

 

go away, come again another day. I'd like to not be sat in the pub looking like I jumped in the usk. Thanks everso.

 

- me

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