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First Thing You Ever Stole


Weapon X

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I DONT REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS.

BUT IT WAS SOMETHING SMALL AND PETTY ID STOLEN.

I REMEMBER MY MOM MADE ME TAKE IT BACK.

 

KEPT ON STEALING, ALOT, I USED TO MAKE GOOD MONEY SELLIN PRISMAS/WOODCRAFTS WITH THE LABELS PEELED OFF AND EMPTIED ETC TO TOYS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

 

NOW DAYS ALL I STEAL IS BIC LIGHTERS WHEN GAS STATION ATTENDANTS ARENT AT THE REGISTER WHEN I WALK UP.

 

OK I MIGHT BE LYING.

I STOLE A BOTTLE OF WINE FROM THE GAS STATION THE OTHER NIGHT TO GIVE TO SOMEONE AS A HOUSE WARMING GIFT FOR A PARTY I HAD BEEN AT FOR HOURS.

I EVEN BOUGHT A 6 PACK, JUST STOLE THE WINE CAUSE I WAS DRUNK.

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To all the 12oz'ers: If you spot an undercover shopper, walk right up to em and pretend like your buying the same shit, then strike up a very personal conversation, like where they work and shit. All the while you got 4 o' 5 cans in ya pants, and they're trying to think up some answer other than "I'm paid to bust human scum, like you." :lol:

:rolleyes:

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flint.jpg

 

One of my friends was friends with this rich kid who's parents bought him everything he wanted. We went over his house from time to time to play, and he always pissed me off. So he had Flint, a figure I never got but always wanted, and I knew where he stashed them. So one day I said "I need to piss," went inside, rummaged through his GI.Joes, grabbed flint, threw him in the pocket, and went back to playing in the backyard.

 

That was my favorite GI.Joe from there on out.

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Ahh I remember this pretty clearly...

 

Gaffled a hardcase of Mickey Mouse crayons from the grocery store. I was running around like an uncontrollable little shit, poking the fish eyes in the meat aisles and grabbing handfulls of jelly beans. Saw the crayons and slid 'em into my pocket all smooth like.

 

Moms found me drawing on shit with them later that day and got mad. She took me back to the store and had me walk up to the cashier and return them. I was like five.

 

My mom is a fucking snitch.

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