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First Thing You Ever Stole


Weapon X

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When I was six my father said he would get me a baseball bat for x-mass. He did not so I stole one from this family down the street that would always leave toys in their front yard.

 

Told my father that I found it on the sidewalk.

 

The bat was kind of old and I broke it hitting balls around the park.

 

Around the same time I tried to rack a pen flashlight from the local grocery store. The manager started trailing me so I ditched it. He apprehended me and dragged me to my dad who was shopping in the store. Told my dad I was stealing to which my father grabbed him, threw him up against the wall and told him to not ever touch me again.

 

When we got into the parking lot he told me to just ask him if I wanted something cause he did not want to have to go to jail for hurting some dumb fucker at the store.

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first thing i ever stole was a pack of this shit. and a couple slim jims.

Hubba-Bubba-Bubble-Tape-Groovy-Grape__91821_zoom.jpg

 

of course it was in a different case since it was like 92 or something.

 

 

i was in san diego visting family. it was my birthday too.

we were supposed to go to some giant ass fun-spot arcade combo

or some shit. my cousins and half siblings were all, "let's go to the sto!

we finna get some cayyndy right quick!" i didn't have any moneys

and neither did they. i'd never stolen anything before. apparently

they were more seasoned in the game than i because they walked out

of the door scott free and i caught some middle easterns hand on my

fucking shoulder. they escorted me into the back room, showed me

the tape (which i was staring DIRECTLY at stuffing stupid random shit down the front of my pants!)

and i began to cry like a lil BITCH! they told me they were

gonna call the cops and whoever i was staying with could come pick me up.

cops never came. but my step-mother did. i got worn out back at the house

and fun-spot was canceled as a result of my failed attempts at thievery newblyhood.

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aside from candies when i was 5-8 three 12 shot roman candles on the day before canada day.

Went out to an old pit with some friends and shot them at old rusted out cars and then broke the last window still in tact on any of them. Since then I've made it a custom to take a few of them for Canada day for some reason.

 

edit:

or tasmanian devils and throw them in to water to watch them spaz out and come flying out in the air. simple things...

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in elementary school this kid kept coming in deep with them MASK action figures and vehicles... finally i had had it cuz i didnt have some of the ones he had and took one, then when i didnt get caught i took every one. i got caught.

same thing applies today, never get greedy...

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a pack of green tic-tacs, they were mighty tasty, too.

 

I'm glad I'm not an adult yet. I can make as much fuck ups while racking as I want and all they can really do is take me in the back, make me sign some shit, and send me home or have someone come get me. You live, you learn. I know all of loss prevention's little tricks and loop holes. Them fuckin' under cover shoppers are so obvious dude, more obvious than the people thievin up shit. I hear 'em runnin up aisles and see em' peekin' thru racks and shit.

 

To all the 12oz'ers: If you spot an undercover shopper, walk right up to em and pretend like your buying the same shit, then strike up a very personal conversation, like where they work and shit. All the while you got 4 o' 5 cans in ya pants, and they're trying to think up some answer other than "I'm paid to bust human scum, like you." :lol:

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Most likely candy.

 

In middle school i was one of the first niggas with an mp3 player that i stole from Target, still got a scar on my belly from the exacto knife, shanked myself pretty good. And now i know Cut AWAY from yourself.

 

i did the same shit except i slashed the fuck out of my wrist

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