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So I ran my pushbike into a line up of garbage bins

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Hey guys,

 

it's been a long time since I've been on this forum. Nice to see everything's as it should be. :)

 

Here is a loose update about my life. I left my "sort of girlfriend" to go out for obligatory work drinks for a new job I just got.

 

I drank 3 beers while riding my bike over to my bosses house.

 

I was then taken out and bought a lot of shots by my work mates including some shots of absinth.

 

My boss had drunk these as well and the poor woman was starting to suggest that she was mighty horny. Rather than sacrifice my self (she's lovely, but not for me), I told her I'd be her wing man.

 

She pointed out a security guard who I'd spoken a couple words to earlier that night.

 

Me: Hey

Guard: Hey, whats up?

Me: Yo, I got a funny question for you, my Boss is heading to Melbourne tommorow and she wants to kiss someone before she goes. She said she was interested

Guard: Does she want to go all the way?

Me: Couldn't say. She was just talking about kissing someone.

 

Later he walks past while we're all out front and I point her out

 

1 hour and a lot more drinks later

 

Boss: Hey! that security guard just hit on me!

Me: haha yeah

Boss: haha! Fred! I'm not sure though

Me: No stress either way.

 

I then say my goodbye's and leave.

 

As I'm very very, drunkenly riding my bike home I get a text message. I get distracted and land right into a bunch of empty garbage bins out for collection.

 

The text message says

 

"Hey Fred, hope you made it home ok honey. Good work with the security guard, he's comming over now! Kisses and Hugs, Love Boss"

 

The end.

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Good thread.

I went out for work drinks too last night.

Was drinking Brooklyn beer. it was ok. I also drank 3 old fashioneds and woke up in a taxi. Awesome!

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Yeah... this shit is hilarious... I expected to see some pics of you fucked up from crashing, or of your bike smashed in some cans... instead I read this tangent story of getting your boss laid... :lol:

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My boss had drunk these as well and the poor woman was starting to suggest that she was mighty horny. Rather than sacrifice my self (she's lovely, but not for me), I told her I'd be her wing man.

 

 

you, my friend, are a scholar and a gentleman.

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What bar are you going to that serves absinthe? Well real absinthe atleast, not the whatever the herb in it is called free version which is the only type allowed for sale in the US. In other words its likely the absinthe you had was no different then most liquors and not mentionable as a glory drink.

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What bar are you going to that serves absinthe? Well real absinthe atleast, not the whatever the herb in it is called free version which is the only type allowed for sale in the US. In other words its likely the absinthe you had was no different then most liquors and not mentionable as a glory drink.

 

 

It wasn't real absinth. It was just toxic cheap stuff with a high alcohol percentage. Sorry it's not mentionable as a glory drink? haha

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so you let the gaurd hit it? but didnt even try to nail your boss?

 

To be honest with you, my boss isn't very attractive. She's nice, but thicker than my tastes. And I'm not really planning on keeping this job for long. So if you think I should sleep my way to the top, it's a little bit pointless.

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Goddamn, I wish I had your restraint. I've ruined many jobs/relationships by finding myself in the sitch you were in with your boss and just smashing. Still, high five for the security guard and the assist.

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HAHAH you tried to answer a text while on a motorcycle????

 

 

your so fucking lucky you didnt get yourself killed. that is some serious dumbo shit there Nurk McGurk.

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Good thread, funny story.

I would like to make a formal request.......boss photo's?

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