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Dear ________,


suca

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dear anyone who wants to listen,

 

i was sitting there in class and this bitchyass miss piggy look alike is arguing with her friend on how poor she is and how poor her family is. then about 4 days ago she was arguing with my homie over how her clothes are more expensive than his. i point this out to my homie without saying a word to her. she can barely even hear me. then she gets butthurt over how i caught her bitching for attention. she sits there and whine about how that was disrespectful when she talks shit on other people for no reason. she doesent know that shes talking to a sicilian with mob connections about respect.

 

she follows me after class. i stop to buy a soda and she does a walk-by on me and says watch your back.

 

i found this hilarious, you may have had to be there but i couldnt stop laughing till i came home.

 

RU.wall-o-textoner

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dear runine...

 

have miss piggy put in an acid bath, no one will ever know.

 

 

dear Grd...

 

if you ever happen to come across a west coaster... do proceed with caution, they can be very, very cunning. they will come across as your new best friend within seconds, but the minute you let your guard doon, even slightly, they will stab you in the teeth and steal the milk oot your coffee... understood?

 

rolf

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dear favorite ex favorite restaurant,

 

First it was a bad fatouche salad, then you screwed up my order a bunch of times, then

every time i order some lentil it ends up all over the inside of the bag, then the lentil is

too salty, then i catch you dropping a roll and looking to see if anybody saw it happen so

you could still serve it, Today i see a fat ass roach squashed on the floor. Thats it. I have

to overlook the fact that you have good sandwiches. Im completely put off. You are dead

to me

 

abcs

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Dear Runnie,

 

trust in karma and know that one day all her stupidity will come back and bite her in the behind

 

grd

 

 

Dear Rolph,

 

I like all this west coat east coat beef you got going on. I can only imagine how much you dislike the english if you feel that strongly about your fellow countrymen.

That being said one of my dearest, most awesomest friends is a weegie and he's pure class on every level.

 

Mar sin leibh an dràsda, groundedinnit

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Dear NBB,

 

My bad for being nosey innit. I'm not sure whether it's good or bad my farcebook friends aren't as err interesting as yours. But I learned something, I learned I'm far too ladylike for the BSM thread.

 

genteelrd

 

Dear Roplh,

 

DEEP FRIED MARS BAR FTW

 

happygrdlucky

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Dear grd

Yeah the girls never last long in that thread. They try to hang but they get ousted... Everyone except milk grenades but that's cause she has a big black dick. also i don't know what innit means.

 

nbb

 

Dear Skype,

 

Today i talked to my homie in osaka and my homegirl from the philipines. I heart you. Later im gonna talk to spitfire and were gonna jo together. No homo

 

nbbskypefan

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Dear NBB

 

innit is a British colloquialism, an abbreviation of isn't it or is it not. used at the end of a sentence the same way you night use ugetme? Or used as an affirmation if you're in agreement with someone. Mainly I use it an annoying amount and in the wrong context all together. It started as a joke because a friend said it an awful lot but the joke is now on me because it's my bad habit.

 

bet you're glad I typed all that innit

 

annoyingrd

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Dear NBB,

 

That's awesome. If I thought I could pull off saying just plain old no homo there's no way I wouldn't be adding a blackslash before it!

 

Chops went all that way and the only slang you got was bruv?! I'm disappointed in him. He's not a proper Londoner but he could have at least threw in a few 'merchant banker's' and 'tommy tucker's' for comic effect.

 

grd

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dear rolf

 

i'm tryin. more to come but i doubt it'll be as interesting to boys as what i've been posting.

 

thanks

 

!@#$%

 

 

 

dear nbb

 

thanks for sparing me

i'd go look, but i've filled my 'chicks inserting dildo into vag picture' quota for the next 10 centuries.

i'll take your word for it, and think of that pic i saw of the same thing on oontz the other day.. that sluts thread. almost forgot. dammit.

 

!@#$%

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dear weed

its 345- i havent puffed you yet today. that might be while i feel a bit off...

loserpotheadoner

edogggggggggggggggggggy

 

 

dear "vingate store"

your dumb hipster staff forgot to close the case- thanks for the $50 ring for free. bitches

stickyfingersoner

edoggggggggggggggggggy

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dear beard,

 

please stay where i want you to. ive been keeping you in line since i was in 7th grade but im starting to think that you are just mooching. i will trim you on monday as i usualy do but i expect you to start taking care of yourself.

 

sincerely,

your host creature

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Dear Rolph,

I drank enough last night to make Shane MacGowan proud. Sadly for reasons unbeknownst to myself it all seemed to be really dodgy cocktails. We ended the night by snorting teaspoons of Cholula hot sauce. So I figure I earned the right to have a little whine.

 

dyingrd

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