Dear ________,

[IrishCarBombs]

Dear Slam,

 

duuh duuh duuh, duuh duuh duuh.

 

-The boys being boys

[soulkillers]

dear uh oh

its not the butterfly no mo its the toosstie roll

 

 

to the left

[Newer Bigger Better]

Dear to the left.

 

to the right.

 

-to the right.

[Spitfire15]

Dear Make 'Em Say Uhn,

 

Nah Nah, Nah Nah.

 

-Master P.

[RazorRamon]

Dear everybody,

 

1 hop this time. Right foot let's stop.

Left foot let's stop. Now Cha Cha real smooth.

 

- Cha Cha now ya'll

[Newer Bigger Better]

Dear do the homie,

 

Do the homie.

 

-Do the homie.

[earl broclo ESQ]

Dear Gary Gnu,

 

Half of the mob and a case of brew

Rumpletilz with the diggum smacks

A get through the door with the cracker jacks

 

--Busta Bust

 

 

 

 

*For those of you that need a reference point:

[redeyedanimal]

Dear hip-hop-opotomus,

 

my lyrics are bottomless.

 

-red.

[Inappropriate_Responder]

Dear Danielle from American Pickers.

 

i think i love you.

 

-icb

 

 

Ready when you are

[soulkillers]

dear balloon races...

 

waking up at the butt crack of dawn was rough but it was worth it . my kids loved you....[

 

souls

[SukiSukiNow]

dear souls,

that's 1/2 block from my house and i miss it every year

<3 ssn

[soulkillers]

i was there at 645 am . u can always wake up early tommorow

[Boris The Butcher]

Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,

 

This will be the last package I ever send your ass

It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?

I know you got my last two letters;

I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect

So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it

I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway

Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?

You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"

about that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning

but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?

That's kinda how this is, you could've rescued me from drowning

Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy

and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call

I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall.

 

BTB

[NightmareOnElmStreet]

dear sook and souls,

 

my chick wants me to get on one of those damn balloons. i

facepalm.jpeg'd her and said "white people."

 

-NOES

[Boris The Butcher]

Dear Boris,

 

I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy

You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?

Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that

and here's an autograph for your brother,

I wrote it on the Starter cap

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must've missed you

Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you

But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?

I say that shit just clowning dog,

c'mon - how fucked up is you?

You got some issues Boris, I think you need some counseling

to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some

And what's this shit about us meant to be together?

That type of shit will make me not want us to meet each other

I really think you and your girlfriend need each other

or maybe you just need to treat her better

I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time

before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine

if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Boris

why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan

I just don't want you to do some crazy shit

I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick

Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge

and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid

and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to

Come to think about, his name was.. it was you

 

 

 

BTB

[NightmareOnElmStreet]

dear boris,

 

gary coleman wtf.gif

 

 

-NOES

[Boris The Butcher]

Dear NightmareOnElmStreet,

 

you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance

I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans

If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert

you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew

That's my little brother man, he's only six years old

We waited in the blistering cold for you,

four hours and you just said, "No."

That's pretty shitty man you're like his fucking idol

He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do

I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to

Remember when we met in Denver you said if I'd write you

you would write back see I'm just like you in a way

I never knew my father neither;

he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her

I can relate to what you're saying in your songs

so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on

cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed

I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest

Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds

It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me

See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it

My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7

But she don't know you like I know you NightmareOnElmStreet, no one does

She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up

You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose.

 

 

 

BTB

[fishsticks]

Dear boris,

 

I lol'd

 

-fishsticks

[soulkillers]

dear noes

 

 

just do it.

 

white ass souls

[blackboatshoes]

dear world.

 

this song is on the brain today........ rip layne

 

 

souls of the lost

 

dear souls,

great song, great band.

R.I.P layne.

 

-boatinabox.

[earl broclo ESQ]

Dear Bug (my dog),

 

What the fuck did you eat? Your breath seriously smells like a homeless woman's pussy! You were chewing your bone in the bedroom, and now it fucking smells like someone was shooting Granny Porn in there!

 

Jesus!

-Earl

[earl broclo ESQ]

Dear women,

 

Fuck you and your hormones.

 

Sincerely,

Earl

[Milk Grenades]

dear earl,

 

that's your balls talking. don't listen to them.

 

mg

[earl broclo ESQ]

Dear Milky G's,

 

My balls are probably the ones that got me in trouble in the first place.

 

Signed,

In the dog house

[SMdoubleXL]

Dear Souls.

Lucky fucker.

thats beautiful.

 

-whitey.

 

Dear Earl,

Even though you will probably have a witty answer, I have to know how you know what homeless pussy smells like.

Also, you think we like dealing with these hormones.It's not good for anyone.

 

 

Dear 12oz.

I thought of you when I saw this downtown.

 

I believe I see room for moar.

[ink face]

dear bitch ass faggots that don't want to get out of my bar at the end of the night, GET THE FUCK OUT!

no, i didn't steal your coat and yes that is my fist breaking your fucking nose, now i gotta

go home all pissed off at the end of the night thanks to you fucking homos, thanks.

[CALIgula]

dear homie,

 

hurry up and get here soon...its 2nd saturday, and were missing out on all the festivities.

 

cG

[Chubbs]

dear sea world,

 

your lack of updates since 2001 and $70 entrance fee left me a little disappointed, though i did enjoy hand feeding flamingos..

[earl broclo ESQ]

Dear SMdoubleXL,

 

There is a bag lady in my neighborhood that sleeps behind this one building. So the other night when I made that post, I had walked into the bedroom where the dog was chewing/licking her bone. By the time it was a soggy sponge of dog spit, the whole bedroom had this odor that smelled bodily.

 

Later I took her for a walk, and we walked past the spot with the bag lady sleeps. The same smell was coming from her "bedroom."

 

So after we got back, I made that post. Trust me, I'm not down with degenerated pussy.

 

--Earl

[Dose-ink]

Dear KB,

 

I'm still not over you so when you called and told me you were scared and needed me, I ditched my friends (first mistake) and came to find you, found you with 2 dudes, you tried to come with me and leave but they kept mouthing off, so I ended up scrapping. Not gonna lie, homie got a couple good shots in, but i know for a fact that I broke his nose when I connected with a kidney shot then kneed him in the face. He was bigger then me, but his homies were the ones that pulled him out and bailed. Needless to say, I have a shiner and you ruined my night and you were the last thing on my mind and i'm pissed that this is still the fucking case.

RattledOner.

 

 

 

Dear Boris;

 

24'd

 

Slim Doser.