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offensive jokes..


graffsurgeon

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Q: what do you do when the dishwasher breaks down?

A: slap her

 

Q: how do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?

A: give her a shovel

 

Q: whats wrong with women complaining about a mess in the living room?

A: her leash shouldn't let her out of the kitchen

 

Q: whats the first thing a wife does when she gets out of the battered wives clinic?

A: the dishes if she knows whats fucking good for her

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Guest willy.wonka

FAMILY FAVORITE...

 

man wins the lottery...

goes home and tells his wife to pack her bags,hes just won $60,000,000$

 

she asks her husband...what should i pack for?the mountians,the snow,the islands?

 

he says..i dont give a fuck!just pack up and leave!

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Guest JUWSE

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

 

How do you get a baby out of a tree?

You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a penata.

 

What is bright blue, pink, and sizzles?

A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet

 

If a tree falls on a baby in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, is it still hilarious?:dazed:

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Guest SPLINTER

why do men think twice as much as women while women talk twice as much as men??

 

because guys have two heads and girls have four lips.

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Guest HELLSATAN

all stolen

 

Q: What do you give teh pedophile who has everything?

A: Another parish.

 

Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A: You can't hide dead children in a gay man.

 

Q: What's red and has more brains than Kurt Cobain?

A: The wall behind him.

 

Q: What's a two-syllable word that begins with the letter N that you never want to call a black man.

A: Neighbor

 

Q: Why does a dog lick it's penis?

A: Because it can't make a fist.

 

Q: Why do Paedophiles love Halloween?

A: Free delivery.

 

Q: How do you get a black kid to take a shower?

A: Open a fire hydrant and start selling crack on the other side of the street

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Guest willy.wonka
Originally posted by beard

this one had me rolling!

 

LSU Medical School students were receiving their first anatomy class

with a real dead human body. They were all gathered around the surgery

table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class

by telling them "In medicine, it is necessary to have two important

qualities as a doctor - the first is that it is necessary that you not be

disgusted."

 

The professor uncovered the body, stuck his finger in the butt of

the dead body, withdrew it and sucked his finger.

 

"Go ahead and do the same thing." He told his students.

 

The students freaked out, hesitated and subsequently taking turns sucking their finger after withdrawing it from the rectum.

 

When everybody was finished, the professor looked at them and told

them "The second important quality is observation. I stuck my middle

finger in and sucked my index finger. Pay attention people!!!!!"

 

 

this has to be the greatest so far...this is great...

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Guest Canadiano

man...where's the misogynistic muthafukkas. All I see is some smalltown racist ijuts who are living in fear like cowards. Now, I ain't no Nelson Mandela, but fuck...don't try and deny shit after...

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest jolt7782

Adolf Hitler goes straight to hell. When hes there he meets up with satan and they were giving eachother dap and shit. Then satan was like hey let me show you this cool invention. And he takes Hitler to a giant fryingpan about the size of a city. And satan presses this button and 1 million jews fall on the pan burning to their death. Hitler was like "Cool do it again" SO satan presses the button again and another million jews fall to their death. Hitler clearly getting excited sed "Let me try it out" and when hitler presses the button 2 puerto ricans fall. This obviously upsets Hitler so he was asking satan what was up. And satan replied "after burning 2 million jews you gotta grease up the pan"

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Guest amorphic

What did the paraplegic retard get for christmas?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cancer! :D

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A white man, black man, and a mexican man are walking in the desert and find a bottle and rub it. Out pops a genie and grants each man one wish.

 

The black man goes first and wishes for all his people to be back in their homeland, free from racism and oppression. BAM! All the blacks are in Africa.

 

The Mexican goes next and wishes for the same thing. BAM! All the Mexicans return to Mexico, also free from racism and oppression.

 

Finally, the white man gets his turn. "What do you wish for?" asks the genie. "Hmmm", says the white man. "You mean all the niggers and spics are out of America??"

 

"Then I'll just have a coke"............

 

 

 

Sorry.......

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Guest jolt7782

Alright so theres this black guy cowboy and indian all sitting in a bar. the indian sez "my people were once many but now we are few" the black sez "We were once small but now we outnumber everyone" The cowboy sez "Just wait till we play cowboy and blacks"

 

what do you get when you mix a puerto rican and a chinese dude?

a cartheif who cant drive

 

where does an irish family go to when they are on vacation?

a different bar

 

So theres this irish dude and its 5am and all the bars are closed, except for one the fag bar. Not realizing this the plucky irishman goes in takes a seat and has a beer. So this fag walks up to him (a total flamer who makes liberache look like vin deasel) and whispers something in his ear. The irishman is exrtemly upset and punches his lights out. The irishman walks up and sits somewhere else. The bartender asks him why did he knock out that dude. So the irishman sed "well im not really sure but i think he sed something about giving me a job"

 

What do you call a mexican with no kids?

virgin

 

So there is this half black half jewish kid. And he goes up to his mom and asks her if he is more black or more jewish. the mother is not sure but tells him to go ask his dad. so he goes up to his dad and asks him the same question. the father asks him why he wants to know. and the little half breed boy replies" well theres this kid across the street selling his bike for $10. and i dont know if i should steal it or bargain him down to $2.50

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how do you fit 4 homos on a bar stool??

 

 

 

 

 

flip the stool upsidedown..

 

 

 

 

 

 

how do you know if a woman is about to say something smart???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when she starts by saying "a man once told me"

 

 

what do you call 4 mexicans sinking in a boat??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

quatro seeeiinko

 

 

jajaja:D

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