Jump to content

offensive jokes..


graffsurgeon

Recommended Posts

Guest 1honkeymofo

how r an eskimo and a the ziplock plastic bag company similar?...

 

 

 

they both like a tight seal. shit, i thought it was funny...

 

 

 

why do they call the space between the pussy and the tits a waste?...

 

 

cuz u could easilly fit another set of tits there! ....yeah

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This forum is supported by the 12ozProphet Shop, so go buy a shirt and help support!
This forum is brought to you by the 12ozProphet Shop.
This forum is brought to you by the 12oz Shop.
  • Replies 1.8k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

all of these jokes r funny as hell but i think people r running dry on jokes..........and since i have no creative mind i think the funniest joke is

 

......321 why do black people play basketball?

 

cuz they can run shoot and steal hahahahhahahahah i was on the floor from that one

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest ledzep

A squad, i tinks that one was already put, here i gots a joke n its nasty too, i saw it in some french movie:

 

this dude with a belly button fetish went to jail for five years. he comes out and thinks 'damn i gotta gets me some belly button', so he goes to a whore house. He goes up to the head pimp and asks him for a girl.

the pimp is like " ok, i have just the one for you, but she is big & fat.

The guy is like "ok whatever im too horny to care."

so he meets up with the whore and starts licking her belly button.

.....lick.......lick......lick.....

then the guy finds a piece of meat in his mouth 'i dont remeber eating meat." so he shrugs and keeps on.

.........lick........lick.......lick.....

the he finds some cheese in his mouth. 'wtf?' he thinks 'how did that get there?' he shrugs and keeps on.

.........lick.......lick......lick......

Then he finds a piece of corn all nasty and half eaten and shit.

he looks at the hooker and says "i think im gonna throw up"

then she says. "thats what the last guy said."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by Smart

fuck this, I'm gonna kick out the crutch for a while, you guys are pushing it, so I'm gonna stop the pulling...

 

got step it up because this isn't gonna be 'stickied' for the next week

 

I got faith that y'all can keep it alive, prove it to me :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 men at a job interview

1 mexican

1 white

1 chinese

 

the manager tells them that they all have the job but they must pass one more test. he tells the mexican guy "your in charge of the money". and tells the white guy " your in charge of the office" and tells the chinese guy " youll be in charge of the supplies" tells them all " but all 3 of you must be here at 6am tommorow mornin if one of you is missing none of you get the job". so 5:45 am comes around and the mexican guy and the white guy are standing waiting but there is no chinese guy. then 6 am comes around and the manger shows up and there is still no sign of the chinese guy. so finally after waiting for him for 15 min the manager starts to tell them " well sorry fellas but your chink friend is not here so there for you guys loose the job" and out of the bushes pops up the chinese guy and says " SUPLIZE!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest -MOE LESTER-

bump.....

 

 

there's these two guys ass fucking on a bed, and one of them has to go to the bathroom, so he goes to bathroom and tell his partner "dont jack off while im in the bathroom aiite?", and he goes and whizzes, comes back, and his partners sitting on the bed with a puddle of semen lying on the sheets. the first guy yells " I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO JACK OFF!!!", the second guy timidly responds "i didnt, i just farted"

 

keep this alive

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by the A squad

o my fuckin gosh<===says gosh cuz feels guilty when sayin god

thats the sickest joke ive ever heard man that is sic

 

you should have seen the movie, it was about some wierd french dudes robbing a bank, it was cool tho

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest mafIAkilla

after world war II is over,adolf hitler goes to hell. when he get's down there,satan is running towards him with a smile on his face. he says "you did some evil shit up there,i have something that i think you might like." so hitler follows satan into this huge room that looks almost like the inside of a volcano and sees a huge lake of fire with an enormous iron frying pan over it,and on the wall beside him he sees three levers. satan says "you ready? here goes..." and pulls the first lever. thousands of jews fall into this frying pan and burn to death. hitler gets a big smile on his face. satan pulls the second lever and the pan turns upside down and dumps all of the remnants of dead jews into the fire. hitler starts jumping up and down,begging to try it out and asks for a shot. satan says "hold on" and pulls the third lever. thousands of mexicans fall into the large pan and hitler looks and says "that's nice,but what are the mexicans for?".satan looks and says "gotta grease the pan."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Canadiano
Originally posted by serpent of the light

how are a homosexual and a tumbleweed alike?

 

they just blow around until they end up stuck on a fencepost in wyoming.

 

 

that's a wicked joke, man...what the fuck are people talking about? it's funking funny as hell.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Canadiano

Re: told by my homie

 

Originally posted by willy.wonka

why is it that when white people take pictures...thier eyes are red?

 

cause they're the devil...OOOOOOOOOooooooh!

 

now that's what I'M talking aboot!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest beard

this one had me rolling!

 

LSU Medical School students were receiving their first anatomy class

with a real dead human body. They were all gathered around the surgery

table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class

by telling them "In medicine, it is necessary to have two important

qualities as a doctor - the first is that it is necessary that you not be

disgusted."

 

The professor uncovered the body, stuck his finger in the butt of

the dead body, withdrew it and sucked his finger.

 

"Go ahead and do the same thing." He told his students.

 

The students freaked out, hesitated and subsequently taking turns sucking their finger after withdrawing it from the rectum.

 

When everybody was finished, the professor looked at them and told

them "The second important quality is observation. I stuck my middle

finger in and sucked my index finger. Pay attention people!!!!!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You know what I hate about kids?

 

They cry when you fuck 'em.

 

 

 

 

Hey, let's say you were hanging out with a friend of yours at the lake, drinking and fishing all night, and you passed out to wake up the next day with your pants around your ankels, and a sore ass hole.....would you tell anyone?

 

(Assuming the reply is no)

 

Wanna go to the lake this weekend?

 

 

 

 

You know the only part I hate about eating a nice smooth pussy?

 

Putting those damn diapers back on!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

whats the best thing about fucking a eleven year old girl in the shower?

when you flip em over they look like a boy...

 

 

 

 

man i feel dirty just typing that....

forgive father for i have sinned...........and i felt even dirtier typing that.....get it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

okay so a girl asks her dad if she can borrow the car for the night

her dad says 'yea hunny but you know what you have to do'

'whats that?' the girl says

the dad replies 'you have to suck my dick'

'but dad!' the girl pleads

'well you know the rules' the father replies

'okay okay' the girl says

so the father drops his pants and the girl takes his dick into her mouth

instantly she pulls it out

she screams 'dad your dick tastes like shit!'

'oh im sorry' the father says

'i let your brother take the car'

:lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest amorphic

I don't have any women bashing jokes, but I sure do have a few about Jews!

 

What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?

Pizza's don't scream when you put them in the oven.

 

What do you tell a black Jew?

Get to the back of the oven!

 

 

being that i am a jew i have full written permission to tell these jokes without shame whoop whoop...........:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...