Deine Mudder Posted July 29, 2021 Share Posted July 29, 2021 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ndv Posted July 29, 2021 Share Posted July 29, 2021 Two antennas got married, horrible wedding, but a great reception. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted July 29, 2021 Share Posted July 29, 2021 A man is in the desert, dehydrated without water. He sees something in the distance that might be a mirage. It is an old tie salesman. He tells the man to keep walking west to a tavern to get water. He thanks the tie salesman and starts walking west. The next day the tie salesman sees the man about to die and said I thought I told you where to get water? With his last breath the man says "they wouldn't let me in without a tie" 1 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris The Butcher Posted July 29, 2021 Share Posted July 29, 2021 When I came to open up one morning, there you were with your head half in the toilet, your hair was in the toilet water... disgusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted July 29, 2021 Share Posted July 29, 2021 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
where Posted July 30, 2021 Share Posted July 30, 2021 4 hours ago, Boris The Butcher said: When I came to open up one morning, there you were with your head half in the toilet, your hair was in the toilet water... disgusting. You fuck your mother with that dick? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted July 30, 2021 Share Posted July 30, 2021 A man is walking down the street and gets hit by a bus and dies. When he comes to he is surrounded by fire and hears millions of screams. He realizes he is in hell and starts sweating in terror. He see’s the devil headed his way and is literally about to shit himself. “Hey there,” says the devil “No need to be so scared. I’m really not that bad of a guy.” The man says “You’re not?” The devil replies “Nah, they got me all wrong upstairs and to prove it to you, I’ll let you pick how you get to spend eternity down here.” The man starts to look a little more relieved. “You see, I’ve got 3 doors over here. You can choose one to be your punishment for all eternity. And to prove I’m a great guy, I’ll let you look behind each one before you choose.” The man follows the devil over to the first door and the devil flings it open. On the other side is this hideous demon with a shovel. The demon scoops up a shovel full of hot coals and dumps it on some poor souls head. He shrieks in pain as the man slams that door shut. “Holy fuckin shit,” he exclaims “ I definitely don’t want that one.” “Very well,” replies the devil as he swings open the second door. One the other side is an equally hideous demon with a whip. On the end of the whip is a razor. He cracks the whip across some poor souls back splitting it wide open. ”No no no no no,” stammers the man. “Show me the 3rd door. The devil swings open the 3rd door and behind it is an old man chained to a wall. The old man is moaning and looks like he’s had the life sucked out of him. When the mans eyes adjust to the light he see’s this super sexy woman on her knees bobbing her head on this old mans dick furiously. He grabs the devil by the arm and yells “I want this one! I want this one!” The devil looks at him and says “are you sure? This is for eternity after all.” ”Yeahyeahyeah! Door number 3 Door number 3!” The devil says okay and walks through the door with the man. When they get on the other side the devil says to the woman “Times up, your replacement is here!” 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted July 30, 2021 Share Posted July 30, 2021 Knock knock… 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted August 4, 2021 Share Posted August 4, 2021 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted August 14, 2021 Share Posted August 14, 2021 A guy named cletus died in a bad house fire. His body was so badly burned that they couldn’t get a positive ID on the body. So they call in Gomer and Cooter, his two best hunting buddies that have known him his whole life. Gomer steps in and looks at his burned up face and says “Cain’t tell. Flip him over.” The mortician flips the body over and Gomer instantly says “Nope tha tain’t him.” The doctor looks puzzled by how quickly he came to that conclusion but thanked Gomer for his time and brought in Cooter. Same thing Cooter looks at the burned up face and says “Yer gonna hafta flip em over.” The mortician flips the body over and right away Cooter says “Naw. That’s not Cletus.” The doctor says “ Gomer said the same thing when we flipped him over. How can you tell?” Cooter replied “Well, Cletus has two assholes.” “Two assholes,” exclaims the mortician! “Yeah,” says Cooter. “We ain’t never seen em, but every time we were with Cletus, people would yell ‘Hey it’s Cletus with the two assholes!” 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted September 16, 2021 Share Posted September 16, 2021 On 7/29/2021 at 2:55 PM, Deine Mudder said: Surprised no one mentioned this man's passing, RIP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_Knight Posted September 16, 2021 Share Posted September 16, 2021 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted September 16, 2021 Share Posted September 16, 2021 RIP this is gearing up to be a terrible year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 Two blondes are walking down the road. One of them sees a broken piece of mirror on the street and stops to pick it up. She looks at it and says "this girl looks familiar, but I don't know where I know her from." The other blonde grabs it from her, looks at it and says "it's me you idiot!" 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 The best joke in the world is behind your zipper 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_Knight Posted December 29, 2022 Share Posted December 29, 2022 Two Jews are walking down the street and see a sign that says “convert to Catholicism $100”. Morty turns to Irving and says “$100 is $100”. An hour later Morty comes walking out and Irving says “well did you get the $100?” Morty says “is that all you people think about?” 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 The American alligator can grow up to 15 feet. But most only grow four. 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 Two grandmas, Agnes and Esme, are meeting in a cafe. They're having a nice chat over cake and coffee when Agnes suddenly says, "Um, Esme, you seem to have a suppository in your left ear..." Esme is surprised and fishes the suppository out of her ear, looks at it for a while, and sighs, "Well I guess I know where to find my hearing aid then." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted January 1, 2023 Share Posted January 1, 2023 To the invalid who stole my camouflage jacket- you can hide, but you can't run. 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauler5150 Posted July 6, 2023 Share Posted July 6, 2023 On 8/6/2022 at 11:49 AM, KILZ FILLZ said: The best joke in the world is behind your zipper Me - *looks down at his jacket* (As I only wear button up jeans) Yep, My scars are still there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T4M* Posted July 6, 2023 Share Posted July 6, 2023 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted August 5, 2023 Share Posted August 5, 2023 On 7/6/2023 at 7:09 AM, T4M* said: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T4M* Posted August 15, 2023 Share Posted August 15, 2023 (edited) What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore will fuck everyone at the party, a bitch will fuck everyone at the party but you. Fucking bitch. Edited August 15, 2023 by T4M* 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted August 15, 2023 Share Posted August 15, 2023 The joke of the century is behind your zipper 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted August 15, 2023 Share Posted August 15, 2023 3 hours ago, KILZ FILLZ said: The joke of the century is behind your zipper 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T4M* Posted August 15, 2023 Share Posted August 15, 2023 On 8/5/2022 at 10:49 PM, KILZ FILLZ said: The best joke in the world is behind your zipper 2 hours ago, KILZ FILLZ said: The joke of the century is behind your zipper @KILZ FILLZ 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauler5150 Posted August 15, 2023 Share Posted August 15, 2023 4 hours ago, KILZ FILLZ said: The joke of the century is behind your zipper Perhaps so. Or perhaps the ultimate joke is that I would rather the aforementioned "joke" to remain behind said zipper such that no children can be birthed into a world where they will spend the majority of their lives as slaves to the system to get money to buy worthless material goods, all while the potential they fall foul of pimps, drug pushers, organised criminal gangs, liars, thieves, cheaters and murderers? Never mind the rapists I purposefully left off this list as all those wh engage i the above behaviours are "rapists of common decency" and as such need to be classified as such. So who is the One telling the joke or the one being the butt of it given it was "My" zipper being referred to? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauler5150 Posted August 15, 2023 Share Posted August 15, 2023 6 hours ago, T4M* said: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore will fuck everyone at the party, a bitch will fuck everyone at the party but you. Fucking bitch. I have used this line before. The truth is more like, a bitch still retains some value, integrity and soul by refusing to fuck whoever is interested in her. A whore is just worthless beyond being something that should be mocked, ridiculed, shamed and humiliated such that they are eradicated from society. This goes for any "bitch" that sells themselves on social media in exchange for a dollar, all truly worthless cunts being they wish to advertise they are as such whilst denying you access to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted August 15, 2023 Share Posted August 15, 2023 6 hours ago, T4M* said: @KILZ FILLZ Glad to see you took my advice for a Halloween costume seriously. Definitely giving off big zipper energy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted August 15, 2023 Share Posted August 15, 2023 purse .mp4 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.