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This for the terrible adults of 12 oz to share stories about being shitty grown ups in so called adult situations.



The other night I went with my "wife to be" to do a registry at some department store chain off shoot.While waiting in the office for the cunt thats setting it all up I took a catalog for bridal stuff and started drawing in with her fancy pen,which I stole from her desk, after getting bored of blacking out teeth I moved on to the hitler stashes and then just started writing swear words.


My lady took noticed and freaked out. These catalogs are giving to the bride in a package about the store. She made me promise to take that one as apart of her package..........................I just mixed it in to the pile.



The lady was telling us that she had 15 couples coming in on saturday and she had all the packages ready on her desk:)






Come on I'm not alone in being a fuck up,shit head adult please share.

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the other day a girl in front of me in line at the gas station dropped a small bag of weed.

i just kneeled down like i was tying my shoe an snagged that shit..

shoulda said "excuss me miss, but i believe you dropped your marijuana".


last week some jagbag started screaming at me that i was an asshole because i pulled out into traffic in front of him as he was pulling up on a red light..

this dude was very visably upset.

so i proceeded to block traffic for a good two minutes making crying faces at him and telling him to get the fuck out the car.. he didn't..





they say you stop mentally maturing at whatever age you started smoking weed..

i started blazing on the daily when i was 14.. so basicly i'm in my early thirties with the mentality of a fourteen year old adhd having bi-polar retard..

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I'm 29. Me and my friend are walking around drunk and writing on stuff, we are in an alley and see some people coming towards us, stop and decide to just walk towards them. It turns out to be 2 teens, about 16 years old, some kid and his girlfriend. He asks us to buy him a bottle. We get into the light and its one of my little sisters friends! I tell his little punk ass the only way I'm buying him a bottle is if he buys me a forty. So that happens. Next day I wake up and realize I was that guy, the drunkard on the street charging kids a fee to get them booze.

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^haha! i won't do that.


i can't think of any good examples but i often embarrass people i work with


a couple years ago i ran into a lady who was walking with my bike as she came out of a totally blind walkway and onto my street. i stopped suddenly and was like "holy shit. i'm so sorry, i didn;t even see you. are you ok??" and she turns to me super bitter (i didn't even knock her down) and goes "you shouldn't be riding on the sidewalk" (there was construction on the street

so i said "well go fuck yourself then you fucking cunt!"\\


i dunno if that even counts. but i'm prolly too old to be yelling at other old ladies.

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what's funny to me is when people think i'm going to care about something.

it takes an earthquake to ruffle my feathers.


like when the seller of my house brought her baby to closing

she was omg so sorry about this my sitter cancelled yadda yadda

like i give two fucks about a stroller sitting in the room while i sign fifteen thousand documents.



this shit works against me too

i have walked out of many a store after being followed around because i don;t look upstanding

the best is to go back to those stores looking nice and rack shit

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