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CONCRETE RIVER

The Useless Rants Thread

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Three Types, Basically

There are three kinds of men in this world. Satans, Vikings, and guys named Rob. *Not Robert, mind you. Rob.

 

__________

Satans are usually malevolent in nature and enjoy purchasing souls on margin, promoting rape, murder, sickness, hidden fees, and Tim Allen films as well as listening to Norwegian black metal. Norwegian, mind you. Not Swedish. Pure fucking grim and frost bitten, church burnin’ black metal. Easily spotted in public by their tell-tale horns, red flesh, and trademark pitchforks, Satans will get you if you don’t go to church.

i19wfo.jpg

 

__________

Vikings know how to fucking party. I mean you’d expect they’d be bitter about Christopher Columbus getting’ all the credit for discovering Wal Mart, as well as the 1999 NFC Championship Game, but they just go on about their merry way, Plundering weaker humans, singin’ songs about Odin, eatin’ big pieces of meat straight off the bone, and drinking booze. A fucking fuck-ton of booze. Fuckin’ A Vikings!

 

24gt2qb.jpg

 

 

__________

Robs wear stupid fuckin’ khaki pants. Their girlfriends fuck Vikings behind their back and are known to often, if not always, be in cohoots with Satans. Some Robs make a generation of teenage girl’s panties moist then get hemmed up for statutory rape after filming themselves long dicking a couple of coked up tiger beat subscribers. Others simply know that it takes two to make a thing go right, and that it takes those same two to make it outta sight. Robs place chewed gum underneath the table in fast food restaurants and killed Jon Benet Ramsay. I fucking hate Robs.

 

2epkher.jpg

 

*Disclaimer* Rob Haslip that lives on NE Wasco in Portland, Oregon is fuckin

cool.

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taylor-swift-9.jpg

 

hey taylor, it's me again. let's talk.

 

so lemme get this straight. now you date underage boys who become werewolves in twilight? joe jonas before that? what the fuck, really. your dating record is worse than those beer farts i had last week when i decided to get drunk on a monday... and then eat taco bell afterwards.. that's another story entirely, but long story short i almost had an entire amtrak car to myself the day before thanksgiving.

 

Back on topic.

 

Don't be such a tard. you know full well that they don't care about you and you're their little mildy country trophy wife to have "forever and always" and then when someone else comes up who has eyes that are slightly closer together, you're DONE. done, girl. let's be serious, you're very pale, and kinda skinny.

 

In light of this, I have a proposal: marry me. And here's why. for one, i'm pale too, so i feel your pain. we can do tons of things that pale people do, like buy vintage shit and listen to awful music or drive pickup trucks or whatever. second, my redneck side is there too; i drink cheap beer, voted republican, and know my way around the state of ohio. i can also pack a mean dip. also, if you marry me, i'll feed you, which seems to be something that isn't happening now, despite the fact that you're rolling in cash from disney fans. also, i've noticed your bandmates are faggots, especially your drummer. this is perfect, because i have a ton of drumming experience (dating back to 6th grade when i stole a pair of drumsticks from middle school and drummed this until my mom stole my drum sticks and broke em in front of me.. that was a short lived career).

 

consider my proposal.

 

love,

inj

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I just watched the GI Joe movie.

It wasn't a steaming pile of turd.

Fuck comic book fanboys, just go cry in your basements.

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Umm.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What?

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[rant]

 

Hahahahaha, COS copped the ban again and he will be soooooo pissed about it too because he's lost his green name and a full compliment of tictacs. He makes out like he doesn't care about E-cred and all that shit but he absolutely does. I used to neg him just so he'd send me all these abusive and silly PMs..., that I'd never reply too because I know that would give him the shits even more than arguing with him.

 

I know I really shouldn't even notice fools like him let alone take pleasure in his demise. But it's a petty little pleasure that I allow myself. I rarely argue shit on the net and prefer to place my time towards more enjoyable conversations but this dude is just far too much fun. He is so easy to bait and he is so fucking predictable. I really love making him cry, it's just too easy. I do, however sometimes feel a little guilty about it because he has clearly shown himself to be actually quite mentally unstable. And I'm not saying that to make fun of him either. The recent deal with him and Theo really showed beyond doubt that he has some very serious obsessions and has a very uneven view of what everyone else sees clearly without any difficulty. He is also quite obsessed with himself to unhealthy levels. He is obviously rather uneducated as he cannot spell to save his life and seems to only have a basic knowledge of most things but seems to think he is well rounded and read. That says that he is actually unaware of how uninteresting and unsophisticated he is, which indicates delusional behaviour.

 

So sometimes I do feel a touch guilty baiting him like I do, but then I remember how much fun it is. I know he will be fucking fuming for losing all of his tictacs and his green name as he would have seen that as climbing to the top of the pile, conquering this place and "winning". He will also be fuming even more now when he reads this, which he will. I assume he will come back on here and post a pic of me doing a suspension, that has yet to draw a response from anyone for a year now and obviously doesn't bother me being that I posted the pic in the first place. But, he will carry this behaviour on because he doesn't see what we all see, that nobody cares. He sees the world through the prism of his own mind which is not operating on the level of social norms that most others here are on.

 

Anyway I find dude's behaviour intensely amusing, from a psychological perspective a little bit compelling (I have a minor in psych) and his cry baby dummy spits fucking hilarious. So I will continue to bait and neg him each chance I get to tickle my childish and petty amusement for as long as he keeps coming back...., which I do believe shall be forever because dude just can't see how much of an arse he makes out of himself here. TBH, I'd almost respect his tenacity if it wasn't based on psychological deficiencies!!

 

Anyway, here's to COS, may he be back soon and stupider than ever!

 

[/rant]

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/llɐʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ǝɹɐʇs˙˙ǝǝɟɟoɔ ʞɔɐlq ɐ ʞuıɹp

/llɐʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ǝɹɐʇs˙˙ǝǝɟɟoɔ ʞɔɐlq ɐ ʞuıɹp

/llɐʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ǝɹɐʇs˙˙ǝǝɟɟoɔ ʞɔɐlq ɐ ʞuıɹp

/llɐʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ǝɹɐʇs˙˙ǝǝɟɟoɔ ʞɔɐlq ɐ ʞuıɹp

/llɐʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ǝɹɐʇs˙˙ǝǝɟɟoɔ ʞɔɐlq ɐ ʞuıɹp

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MOTHERFUCKING WOMEN. either they have way too many responsibilities, or they have too little. I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND A MIDDLE GROUND. either i talk to a girl that's totally badass that does WAY TOO MUCH WITH THEIR LIFE, or i talk to one that's really badass, that does NOTHING AT FUCKING ALL, and somehow i feel like i'm doing something with myself even though i'm really unemployed, and don't really do much at all. fucking women. what good are they? really? aside from shooting out children, i can't find anything i can't get out of a fleshlight and maybe a robot voice. honestly, if i could make a fuckbot with a fleshlight, some tinker toys, and an old k'nex set, i just wouldn't talk to women. at fucking all. at least when i'm bored with the bitch, i can take her apart, and turn her into a roller coaster.

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Vikings know how to fucking party. I mean you’d expect they’d be bitter about Christopher Columbus getting’ all the credit for discovering Wal Mart, as well as the 1999 NFC Championship Game, but they just go on about their merry way, Plundering weaker humans, singin’ songs about Odin, eatin’ big pieces of meat straight off the bone, and drinking booze. A fucking fuck-ton of booze. Fuckin’ A Vikings!

 

24gt2qb.jpg.

 

:lol:

 

This is awesome

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Pickles in fucking hamburgers....I mean seriously whats the fucking point? Yeah sure they add that little bit of sweetness along with some nice onions but doesnt mean shit because PICKLES SHOULD BE BESIDE SANDWICHES NOT IN THEM!! Appetizers to your "deli style concoctions." Main reason being pickles cant be controlled! You bite into that juicy hamburger mmmMMm good right? That slight sense of happiness for your about to become content after this delicious morsel is devoured : pause : this is some slow motion shit right here :resume: First bite in, yes first bite! theres no delaying the horrible thing thats about to happen, no one has ever successfully bitten through a pickle in a burger EVAR!! you try to pull away and along comes the KETCHUP... THE MUSTARD...THE ACIDIC CONDIMENTS FROM HELL that no matter how much you shout you cant Shout that shit out. I mean are you supposed to let go of your bite? Bleh! where is it suppose to go while you embarrass and gross out the fellow guest that reside in the same dining arena as you. Fuck pickles in hamburgers! Hamburgers + Pickles = ruined articles of clothing. And its usually your favorite shirt or pants too...that is whats so crazy bout it all AND SO FRUSTRATING!!! Even if its a black fucking shirt whats left after the wash is a black shirt with an even blacker stain...I mean wtf!!

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i always think truffle oil is going to make everything taste better. and sometimes, it does: a sprinkle in scrambled eggs or on pizza or fries is generally on point. but sometimes there is such a thing as too rich. which i have just experienced, in the form of bacon cheeseburger mac and cheese casserole with truffle oil. i feel like i am going to implode. i need a ciggy. people, my people: use truffle oil sparingly.

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i always think truffle oil is going to make everything taste better. and sometimes, it does: a sprinkle in scrambled eggs or on pizza or fries is generally on point. but sometimes there is such a thing as too rich. which i have just experienced, in the form of bacon cheeseburger mac and cheese casserole with truffle oil. i feel like i am going to implode. i need a ciggy. people, my people: use truffle oil sparingly.

 

 

Oh man, the hotel bar I drink at on Sundays has truffle oil mac and cheese...shit is serious

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taylor-swift-9.jpg

 

hey taylor, it's me again. let's talk.

 

so lemme get this straight. now you date underage boys who become werewolves in twilight? joe jonas before that? what the fuck, really. your dating record is worse than those beer farts i had last week when i decided to get drunk on a monday... and then eat taco bell afterwards.. that's another story entirely, but long story short i almost had an entire amtrak car to myself the day before thanksgiving.

 

Back on topic.

 

Don't be such a tard. you know full well that they don't care about you and you're their little mildy country trophy wife to have "forever and always" and then when someone else comes up who has eyes that are slightly closer together, you're DONE. done, girl. let's be serious, you're very pale, and kinda skinny.

 

In light of this, I have a proposal: marry me. And here's why. for one, i'm pale too, so i feel your pain. we can do tons of things that pale people do, like buy vintage shit and listen to awful music or drive pickup trucks or whatever. second, my redneck side is there too; i drink cheap beer, voted republican, and know my way around the state of ohio. i can also pack a mean dip. also, if you marry me, i'll feed you, which seems to be something that isn't happening now, despite the fact that you're rolling in cash from disney fans. also, i've noticed your bandmates are faggots, especially your drummer. this is perfect, because i have a ton of drumming experience (dating back to 6th grade when i stole a pair of drumsticks from middle school and drummed this until my mom stole my drum sticks and broke em in front of me.. that was a short lived career).

 

consider my proposal.

 

love,

inj

 

 

^this shit was fuckin BOSS. Credit where its due......

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