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KM4RT

Toilet Shenanigans

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Today at work was particularly long and tiresome. I think I spent 16 hours in the office leveraging synergies, implementing holistic initiatives, increasing utilisation and maximising efficiency.

 

By around 10am, and after a coffee or two, I decided I needed to visit the bathroom to relieve myself. Through both urination and sexual self gratification. Stress and looming deadlines mean I do this occasionally. Try it.

 

I walked into the bathroom. The urinals were empty. I don't like urinals anyway, I prefer to piss into a bowl whilst in an enclosed, solitary environment. I also hate urinal conversations, and people that don't leave a spare urinal between themselves and you, even though they could.

 

There are four stalls in the bathroom. The second one was occupied. What struck me about the situation was that the person inside was sitting sideways on toilet. I assumed this based on the position of his legs as I could see them (refer to diagram here).

 

I continued into the end stall anyway. My thoughts about the blonde receptionist with an ass like Serena faded quickly (/no Kanye, but her ass is serious business though - I've been trying to get in on that, but story for another thread (no pics, sorry)). (Brackets are dope.)

 

Obviously I couldn't masturbate my stress away now, so I just pissed. After finishing, I flushed and left the stall. Walking out, the guy in the other stall was still there. Still sitting sideways. I made a mental note of his shoes. At the time I thought I could track him down later. Maybe confront him? Or...I don't know.

 

I spent the rest of the day looking at peoples shoes whenever I was away from my desk. No luck.

 

Is there a reason for sitting sideways on a toilet - comfort, efficiency, medical?

Elk.jpg.e0a147014bac8f045fdfff768d316058.jpg

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Last week somebody at my work took a shit on the floor and then walked through it.

There were shitty foot prints all through the warehouse and the main boss man had to clean it up because everyone else was gone.

Since then, everyone I look at that works nights at my place of employment...I always wonder if it was them that shit on the floor.

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wow...jerking off at work...I really cant imagine that cause most of the place I have worked

 

A - Smelled like stale piss and old farts

B - The stalls were filled with dude that sounded like they were giving birth to the antichrist

C- Had really questionable stains and other stuff on the toilet or stall walls.

 

 

Not really a place to think of sexy thoughts, plus its kind of gross to wack off at work

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I worked at a warehouse when I was younger that had a locking bathroom far away from the bathrooms that anyone actually used.

 

There was a big chair in there with a coffee table that someone kept stocked with porno mags.

 

When I first walked in I was thinking about it, but then the idea of sitting in a chair going at it to the same mags and in the same chair, as whoever was keeping that shit stocked kicked in and I called off the operation.

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I bet the sideways sitter was sleeping

leaning on the paper dispenser

 

 

I think the jacking off at work thread got lost in the meltdown

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my friend took a shit at a bar once, we were all sitting on stools. he decided to stand up move his to the right, pull his trousers down. then stand in a position with bent knees that would look to the barmaid like he was still sitting down. he took a fuckin' massive jobby on the floor. we left pretty soon afterwards.

 

...it stank

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My old roomate shit his pants at the bar. He then tried to use it as a pickup line, asking women if they "ever fucked a dude who just shit his pants".

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hahah carrying the TP just in case?

 

another good one's lifting the lid off someones cistern and taking a shite in there. it'll stink like fuck knows what for a good while before they find it.

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The "Double Decker"

 

Take the lid to the tank off and crap in the upper part of a toilet, then in the bowl, forcing the owner to flush in dismay, and in stench.

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maybe he was stealing wifi, and got a better signal by facing that way? kevin mitnick style.

7aa2d1fa-a069-4a17-a3d6-8ac6020e6871_aa65a76c-fff6-4e10-b662-ceba8e05d445_static_0_0_00000015.png

 

or maybe he was writing a novel on the wall.

Writing+on+toilet+walls.jpg

 

deep.

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my friends always used to shit in sinks uranals whatever, then one shit on a paper towel and threw it at a window, that was hilarious

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This fuckin dude used to wack off everyday at work mind you at a restaurant and have no problem tellin you about and say he couldn't take a shit with out getting completely naked ... It was a dirty ass bathroom too.

I just didn't see the bathroom in the same light anymore after that.. Oh yeah the porno mags where hiding in the drop ceiling.. A lot of them, I was hoping that one day they would fall through on a customer.

Hope you enjoyed your sandwich at lunch fuckers....

 

angry baboon door is watching you masturbate

G1XWg.jpg

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piss on everything.

 

piss on seat. good

piss on flusher. good

piss on paper towels. good.

piss in sink. good

piss on door handle..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

trapped

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