Smacky636 Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 If you fucked up with something at the job, home, etc., and you know someone you shouldn't be pissing off, will get pissed off. then Blame the incident on someone else, and get real super fuckin' mad. Then that person will be like...oh man, this cat is really pissed! I can't even act mad, I gotta calm his ass down. I do this shit like once a week, never had a fail yet. THIS DEFINATELY WORKS IN HOSPITAL SETTINGS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercer Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 ^Paging doctor Nick Riveara, the coroner's office is on line one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acer910 Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 You boiled potatoes but find out they're still raw? Already drained the boiling hot water? Everything else is ready to be served? While still hot, wrap all the potatoes together in a sheet of aluminium foil and let them rest while doing other shit in the kitchen and carrying food to the table. they should be cooked in a minute or two this is sound advice. works for most other foods but i wouldnt trust it with meats... and some recipes even call for doing this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 if you ever have a weird feeling about something, it's probably for a reason. whether it's a weird feeling about a person, a place, something you're doing, etc. that little voice is usually right. listen to it. you won't regret it. * oh and also, the area beneath the shopping cart is a great place for getting free stuff, especially when you're going through the check out paying for other things. * partake in what you enjoy, but try not to enjoy it in excess. a great quote "Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."---redd fox * watch jeopary, listen to good soulful music, read books, do crossword puzzles, and always have a hustle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wisetuxedo Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 little voice is sound advice, the few times i tried to ignore it ive gotten fucked over... theres always another day to try something try to get old magazines from stores after they recieve the newest issue have atleast one book on your coffee table (if you have one) keep shit organized, not nessicarily clean, but know where everyting is if you need it have a steay suppuly of duct tape, wd40, printer paper, and painters tape hotels have so much free shit on the cleaning lady carts if you are in a good relationship, dont put yourself in situations where you would feel obligated to cheat if you are in a place where you can get a newspaper for free everyday, do it buy powdered drink mixes and a water filter, saves a whole bunch of space and money in the long run Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinky the kid Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 if you ever have a weird feeling about something, it's probably for a reason. whether it's a weird feeling about a person, a place, something you're doing, etc. that little voice is usually right. listen to it. you won't regret it. . FUCKING THIS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 i've had people pull over on the freeway a few times, just cause something didn't seem right, or we weren't on the right course. turns out, every time i was right and we've missed accidents. it might seem weird to the people around you, but it's not like any of you are normal anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edward Orenthal Norton Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 milky has psychic powers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClownPrince Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 if you ever have a weird feeling about something, it's probably for a reason. whether it's a weird feeling about a person, a place, something you're doing, etc. that little voice is usually right. listen to it. you won't regret it. I hate how fucking right this is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DurkStevens Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Simply, liquor before beer. really? the few times ive drank liquor ive drank a few beers taken a shot or two then a few mixed drink then more beer.........cool story bro(too me) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JohnLester#31 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 FUCKING THIS. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 my signature... great advice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buildestroy Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 forgive, but don't forget. holding grudges will cause ulsers... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acer910 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 when a chaotic event happens, stay calm and just be like "meh". it will rub off on other people and calm/confuse them so they dont panic and do some stupid shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
you snooze you looze Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Don't eat at McDonalds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chubbs Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 1. abandon your god IMMEDIATELY! 2. seek higher knowledge 3. ????? 4. profit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R@ndomH3ro Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 1. abandon your god IMMEDIATELY! 2. seek higher knowledge 3. ????? 4. profit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 Still waiting for the ranger shoe lace lesson... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcoFromHouston Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Pay with cash at the bar or restaurant. leads to less headaches caused by processing errors/fat fingers/idiot cashiers/etc. Also less opportunity to having your card skimmed/lost/stolen. If you need to use an ATM, don't use the crappy one at the convenience store/bar/middle of nowhere. Most likely those are not balanced/serviced as regularly as the machines attached to the bank. If you need a small amount of cash ($5, $10, $20), use your debit card at your local pharmacy/grocery store and ask for CASH BACK. Buy yourself a drink & a pack of gum, or something you need (deodorant/mouthwash/tortillas). It saves you from "wasting" your money on ATM fees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R@ndomH3ro Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Still waiting for the ranger shoe lace lesson... http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/surgeonknot.htm here you go...they call it a "surgeon's knot" I learned it from my old Ranger platoon sergeant and I always tie all my shoes like this. They never come undone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 Thanks, Ian's Shoelace Site - Bringing you the fun, fashion & science of shoelaces science of shoelaces, who would have thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R@ndomH3ro Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 yeah, I googled double lace knot and that is what I came up with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 If your job cuts your pay by at least 20%, by no fault of your own (economy, hours cut, no overtime pay, etc), you will qualify for Unemployment Compensation. So, if you're job is becoming more of a McJob, ride the pine on the governments dime. But talk to a lawyer before you go MIA, I recommend pre-paid legal services (about $25 a month to keep my ass out of trouble). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 In Washington there is free legal help if you are having problems with employment security. http://www.unemploymentlawproject.org/faqs.html Good people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 and nsmb.... why did you have pantyhose with you?... HAHAHA! attentive bastard. this will segway into my next tip... if you're broke down, act like this guy on the side of the road: it got me my panty hose. some old guy with his mother pulled over, she happened to have an extra pair in her bags... i hope... maybe it was the ones she was wearing? dude was helpful though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gnarly Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 the pantyhose on the serpentine belt is some mcguyver shit. ALSO, keep a razor blade and your lawyers card in your wallet. The razor blade can be used for cutting open packages, coke or people. The lawyers card is for when you get caught cutting up coke or people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetPeep Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 If you are one of the unfortunate few that turns red as a tomato when you drink, eat some TUMS prior to binge drinking. No one will know you are wasted, until you make a complete ass out of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipsycripsy420 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Always keep it simple. Body language can go a far way. Don't ever get worked up over something little, or big for that matter. You are just going to make it worse for yourself. Learn something new everyday. Do your best to weigh out the negative with the positive. Hold doors open for people, give homeless change, help old women across the street etc... Smoke mad blunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Try to read a different book every week. If cutting onions is unbearable for you do so with your stove top on. The flames create a convection current which eliminates the noxious fumes. Manners go a long long way. Just be respectful to people. Unless of course they don't reciprocate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abcs Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 DONT GET CAUGHT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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