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everyday life tips and tricks


morton

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ok... heres 1.... this is gonna sound kinda fucked up be hear me out.

After you get out of the shower and dry off turn the heat off on your hair dryer

and blow dry your ballsack. No matter how well you dry your sack if its still damp

it will get to smelling sour. Moisture just sitting on there wont evaporate

but will mix with sweat and well... ya kno ... throw some baby powder in the

mix

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ok... heres 1.... this is gonna sound kinda fucked up be hear me out.

After you get out of the shower and dry off turn the heat off on your hair dryer

and blow dry your ballsack. No matter how well you dry your sack if its still damp

it will get to smelling sour. Moisture just sitting on there wont evaporate

but will mix with sweat and well... ya kno ... throw some baby powder in the

mix

 

why in the fuck would you wanna do that?

 

why not just wipe all of your body then your sack last with the towel?

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this is sound advice.

works for most other foods but i wouldnt trust it with meats...

 

and some recipes even call for doing this.

 

if your cooking with potatoes, and wanna save extra time, do one extra step, microwave.

 

if your makin baked potatoes microwave for like 5 mins and then throw in oven.

 

french fries or mashed potatoes same concept.

doesnt really taste at all different but can save hella time.

 

poke holes in potatoe with knife before hand

maury.jpg.08a876a53c20b504203c7d0a81bb4800.jpg

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at the office/school/job/whatever it is you oontzers do with your life.

 

Dont be the bitch. dont take shit from people. dont go get somebody coffee.

 

im not saying get in there face when they tell you to go get them a coffee, just dont become the bitch, shit is weak as fuck and looks bad in general.

 

I aint a bitch, not to worry. im in school. but i got friends who are, and the only reason im boys with them is because i've known them for so long.

 

 

Find something/somewhere to vent. This weekend, my venting session consisted of fighting my roommate because we were both absolutely tanked, and i felt much better.

again, not saying toget drunk and fight, but dont let stress take over your life. go to the gym, take a walk, smoke a blunt, fuck even talking to somebody.

 

just saying, if you're stressed or angry, give it a try.

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I used to bartend at Cattlemen's Steakhouse. For a while every time I'd go in the employee bathroom there was piles of starch or baking soda, maybe even flower all over the floor. Like somebody went in there and just dumped a box of it. I was curious to find out what the fucking deal was with this powder all over the place - but never got to the bottom of it.

 

Until one day I go to use the pisser. I open the door and see Omar, our fat-assed appetizer chef, one leg up on a chair with his pants down. He had a box of flour in his hands and had just slapped a handfull of it onto his balls. I closed the bathroom door and tried to forget that day ever happened. Godamnit.

 

I clowned his fat ass for a good while after that. He said it kept him from getting rashes when his chubby thighs would rub together, running around the kitchen all night.

 

Every day life tip and trick #457 : If you're going to powder your inner thighs and balls in the employee bathroom at work, lock the fucking door.

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Damn nigga, you don't abide by the "if the light is on, someone is most likely inside" rule?

 

Nahh bud. You couldn't see light unless you got down and looked under the door.

 

Shit was like mid-dinner rush and I had to dip out on a full bar to piss really quick. I probably had like 10 Mojito's on hold as well. Mojito's are the fucking worst.

 

Tip # 458 - Never order Mojito's at a crowded bar. I will make them super weak and scorn you for life.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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