toluene_causes_tumors Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. any hot fluid in large amounts as soon as you wake up seems to work i tried just drinking hot water instead of coffee when i woke up still worked i like to get my shitting out of the way first thing in the morning, feel lighter on my feet for the rest of the day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. take pics when you do poop finally i wanna see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belmonts Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. That's a lot of shit for a baby. Suspicious. I'm gonna go ahead and assume his father got wasted and shit all over the room, planting his infant son as evidence. That's what I'd do anyway, not that I plan on having children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. you would be amazed at how much shit a lil kid can produce. I always find that smoking a joint or cigarette first thing always makes me want to take a dump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. I like my theory more, but that's just because I'm in it for lols. Strictly lols. And yeah, some mornings I smoke a cigarette and drink a coffee for breakfast and feel like my stomach is collapsing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape Shit Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. Can't recommend this stuff enough. It'll give you the most perfect beautiful poops every single time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deloner Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. This.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullshitTantrum Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. This^ Also try drinking 1tbsp of chia seeds in about 8 oz of water. go to your local health food store and buy some probiotics, 50billion+ culture stop taking opiates/suboxone/methadone, etc. all that plus try a fiber supplement (one you stir the powder into a glass of water or whatever) and avoid dairy and gluten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fondles Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man. psyllium husk doesn't fuck around Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black peonles like a mad man. Wonk saggin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReackOne Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like a mad man. demandin update Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4x4 Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like a mad man. The night I drank the coconut milk I shat a bunch of times thru the night. 4am, 7am, 9am etc But when I woke up yesterday I didn't have complete relief. I felt much better tho. Today I am in the worst agony yet. Hard to piss and fart. My abdomen is swollen making me look like 10 lbs heavier. Head ache, fever, zero appetite. Even a lil kidney pain which is very worrysome...I'm sore from laying around because it's so painful to do anything else. Drank about a half (small) bottle of milk of magnesia this morning and afternoon. Been some 'relief' but not enough to sway the discomfort. Unless all hell breaks loose on the shitter tonight, going to urgent care tomorrow night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Vergudo Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like a mad man. I dunno if this has been mentioned, but there's a diet pill that blocks the body from absorbing oil an grease from fatty foods, so when you take a crap it looks like the Exxon Valdez oil spill. And since you're just passing thru the grease, if you fart, chances are you're going to shit yourself. I forgot the name of these pills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like a mad man. chug more black pony penis water Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pfffffffffft Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like a mad man. drink favela water Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lambmeet Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like a mad man. i wonder if that nurga died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like a mad man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasfacevictm Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like a mad man. That's the most monumental shit ever taken in a movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like a mad man. Nigga you gonna die... Like that little girl from Poltergeist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
En Sabah Nur Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkaD2S8KJIA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotsauceinthedickholewastaken Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm pretty sure he tried what I recommended and now he's on a bender.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
izzyD Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 plums work also Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4x4 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 The milk of magnesia helped very little. I took a sick day yesterday and took a double dose of ex lax pills. Waited the 6-12 hours for them to kick in and nothing happened. Woke up this morning feeling pretty gold and even went to work planning on making a dr Appt when I got off. Then I shit some clear oily stuff at work(scary as fuck).... Googled it and it's mucus. Seems their may be a blockage which could explain the laxatives being ineffective. I left work after that and now I'm waiting for my Dr Appt I just made which is in an hour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 you will get haemorrhoids Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Yeah you're fucked bro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneBonerOner Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 after my accident they gave me so much dope that i didnt shit for like 4 days, i was so worried i bought an enema but never used it, the only thing that worked was COD LIVER OIL. it tastes as gross as it sounds, tastes like the oil that comes from the liver of a cod. it worked within a couple hours, if you really want to get rid of your constipation than take some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneBonerOner Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 im dead serious, the doc is going to give you an enema, unless you want someone LITERALLY PUTTING A BUTT FUNNEL IN YOU than take COD LIVER OIL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 "COD LIVER OIL. it tastes as gross as it sounds, tastes like the oil that comes from the liver of a cod." :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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