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Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like I'm Mad Max.

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Goin on like day 4. I'm going the coffee route instead of laxatives... Hope this works.

 

Imagine stomach pains from the minute you wake up til you go to sleep. :( pooping at work is one of my favorite things to do on company time and I've been deprived of that most of the week.

 

Feels like I can drop deuce and just end up sitting there. Talk about anti-climactic! This must be what guys who can't get a hard-on feel like after their chick gets sick of sucking a limp cock. :(

 

I think the worst part is that I'm a heavy beer drinker... So I have like a weeks worth of beer shits built up. Oof

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black coffee like a mad man.

 

chug heavy whipping cream. Make coffee and let it sit in the fridge for a day or two. The organics in the coffee decompose slowly making the coffee even more of a laxitive, the taste doesnt change but the effect does.

 

Why do I know this? I love iced coffee and used to brew huge batches. I began to wonder why I was shitting my brains out constantly...it was because i was enjoying 3 day old fridge coffee. Google is youre friend when your in need.

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black coffee like a mad man.

 

Chugging mad coffee like a black man.

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black coffee like a mad man.

 

INHALE DEEPLY-

 

 

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SQUEEEEEZE-

 

 

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black coffee like a mad man.

 

Vietnamese coffee my nigs.

 

That shit has my stomach brewing before I even finish it.

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black coffee like a mad man.

 

drink some olive oil/castor oil, slimy poops in no time

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man.

 

dehydration is a major cause.....drink water.....lots of water.I used to get it alot.

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man.

 

Chugging black people probably isn't helping much either.

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man.

 

ive never had this problem..the only thing that comes close is a few stays in the hospital painkillers seem to stop your bm's up pretty well

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man.

 

Wow 4 days worth! Chances are, when u finally drop its gonna feel like ur giving birth. Make sure u rock back n fourth on the toilet while ur dropping- works wonders!

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man.

 

Do yourself a favor...

 

 

and drink some really good real coffee like some like "EXTRA STRONG" 3 HEARTS COFFEE favela coffee from the hills. that will def clean you out. (use faucet water)

 

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man.

 

Only pussies don't use faucet water in their coffee. Ol' pinky out ass bols.

 

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man.

 

Faucet water FTW!

You niggaz need jesus.

 

<insert "oh i don't have time to eat good food because i hustle so hard" comment here>

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Re: Constipated as hell, chugging black people like a mad man.

 

Just drink like 4 bottles of water before you eat anything in the morning. As soon as you wake up. You might need to piss a bit but it should loosen everything right up.

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