Fist 666 Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 ****Cliffnotes since Fist is a whiny shit: I went to a party in high school and this dude literary let all of his buddies who would join in run a train on his girlfriend, taped it and then told her she had no self respect. hahah if it had been just this to start with i would have said 'cool story bro.' i only have a few good stories and i already posted them in here. i'm married. my sex life is a fucking drag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 marriage is gay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 thirded^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 i know i posted this in a thread once, but i think it got deleted in the crash. Me and my boys call this the Mtn.View milf story.During my senior year of highschool a legendary story went down, still makes me laugh/cringe to this day. Anyway, some sophomore chick is having a party, her moms was going to be there but supposedly that was not a big deal. On Friday night a bunch of folks go over there, including my boy D-Dog. This kid is off the hook, he had bagged 40 bitches by the time he was 17...he once fucked a homeless lady etc. Anyway dude is a fucking poon bandit, bunch of folks at this party and this chicks mom is there too. She is drinking and smoking bomb with all the kids and from what my homey says she was giving him the fuck me stares all night. Towards the end of the night, my homey takes mom upstairs and he fucks it. The party is basically dead and so he decides fuck it and he is going to go a few rounds with this mom. As he is beating guts, he hears a pounding on the door and a raspy female voice saying "Mom....stop Mom.....Moooomm" etc. But old lady is wasted and he doesnt give a fuck so he beats it up and wakes up there the next morning. Ends up that the chick banging on the door is this ladies other daughter who has down syndrome or some sad shit like that. He told me that the mom was brutal as fuck and made the girl clean up all the trash from the night before. Needless to say my boy was shook from that and bounced ASAP. But the story doesn't end there. He ends up telling one of his boys what went down.....next night being Saturday the girl had some people over again. The dude that my boy tipped off to moms whorish ways, brings her up stairs during the party and bangs her out. goes back downstairs and tells some homeys who all creep up and move the party to her room. Long story short, fools are getting dick sucks while snacking on popcorn and shit. One youngster homey beat raw and the original homey D-Dog has all types of herps on his shit. Basically a big cesspool fuck session goes on with trizz being run on this girls mom. Smh. I tried to convince the homeys we could extort her of mad loot by blackmail.....they were not down. Old girl whose mom it was tried to say that her mom was on muscle relaxers and thats why everyone ran through so easily. Haha...pretty sad story considering the situation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I have a story, it totally happened...like all the other stories in this bullshit thread about who can remember plots from porn scenes and recount them the best. You sound bitter about having a boring sex life. I'd be bitter too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 lets clear something up here other than the rashes, everything I have ever wrote here is not only true, but can be backed up by multiple people usually. also, yeah, getting a portrait of anyone on your head would be really dumb, except, 1 I am 6-3, almost 6-4, 2, I am jewish, and mexican, and not one person in my family as ever gone bald, or had a receding hairline. 3,the tattoo is set back so you cannot see it unless I show you. eat a dick. nigga having ronald reagan on my head gives me the power to run faster from the police and never have to pay my taxes again. nigga umad. So you thought it would be the totally ironic hipster thing to do to get of all people Ronald Reagan tattooed on your head? You know Reagan actually raised taxes, right? You know that he is also a prime example of "big government spending", right? You know that he's a more accurate example of a "food stamp president" than any other president in history because more people were on food stamps due to his "trickle down economics" myth, and that all this shameless false idol worshiping of him being done by modern day Republicans is not only a myth but a flat out lie, right? Oh wait... you probably weren't even alive when he was president and actually believe that getting that tattoo will in fact ward off the IRS from taxing your minimum wage paychecks that are so miniscule that you probably don't even pay federal income tax as it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 jesus ralphy ... that sounds like a good fucking night. i got a mate like that looked about 25 since day, always getting chicks mainly older woman with husbands kids jobs etc or just the usual british uni sluts, guys in a long term relationship and his chick is totally fine with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ih8juggalos Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 this thread is bad ass. you're a dipshit. spiderman would be disappointed in the misuse of his holy visage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 the worst part about these threads is the people who come in and tell stories and you can feel the "trying too hard" vibe radiating through the screen. dsd is quality though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 I still got mad stories on deck, I never though this thread would see 2 pages let alone 20. you niggas are the scum of the earth. graffiti writers are disgusting people. there has to be more stories from yall before I float the thread again. edit, the ronald tattoo...nigga I was alive for both terms, I could give a fuck what you think, you're an internet troll talking shit on a sex thread, but ronald wasn't my first choice. my first choice was a jesus with down sydrome. my 2nd choice was peyton manning cause the nigga looks like he is autistic. everything else you said, did not read. I light hoes on fire. fuck have you contributed to this thread, other than being a whiny faggot? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 So you thought it would be the totally ironic hipster thing to do to get of all people Ronald Reagan tattooed on your head? You know Reagan actually raised taxes, right? You know that he is also a prime example of "big government spending", right? You know that he's a more accurate example of a "food stamp president" than any other president in history because more people were on food stamps due to his "trickle down economics" myth, and that all this shameless false idol worshiping of him being done by modern day Republicans is not only a myth but a flat out lie, right? Oh wait... you probably weren't even alive when he was president and actually believe that getting that tattoo will in fact ward off the IRS from taxing your minimum wage paychecks that are so miniscule that you probably don't even pay federal income tax as it is. Get over it my cheesesteak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Touché... Still I've never seen an "email your sex stories" section on a porn site, http://www.literotica.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Most of us would like to keep our sexual failures to ourselves and I guess some people tell the stories how they wish they went. Now this is a bit of read but it's a little peek into my views on sex and an issue of mine. I may delve into some more experiences of mine later ranging from more bdsm, role play, lesbians, devils three ways, and a few public outings. In all honesty the stories i have posted in here are the truth. I have never had limp dick, pilly willy or whiskey dick. For some reason the fucker is up and ready as soon as i start getting with a girl, im not complaining or bragging here just bear with me talking about my penis, sex life, theres a point to it. ( there will probably be more unintended puns through out) I'm not a sex god. I just watch a lot of porn, read a lot of books and articles and how to's as a young teen and even now in my late teens I still try and absorb every bit of knowledge I can be it about sex or complex theories on the universe and other bullshit. Through trial and very little error I have gained what I consider to be a fairly good idea of how to have the best sex of my life, and to give my partner at the time be it a drunken one night stand or a few months of just sex and company the most intense experience of their life. I don't like half assed sex, its boring. don't be a bitch and eat the pussy like its your last meal, fuck her like the fate of the world depends on it and don't stop till she physically cannot move. Anyway I have an issue being that my dick will not stay down, I can maintain an iron rod for upwards of 8 hours, the first time this happened I had drank a bottle of whiskey and smoked a fair few joints beforehand all of which to my knowledge decrease the sexual drive? could be argued that it increases it but from what I hear most people cant get it up whilst heavily under the influence of these two vices, now even when it has been a quick hour I will be up and ready not 5 minutes later to which most girls always seem shocked, as previously stated I fuck as if it were for an olympic medal and a spaceship. i rarely make sweet jazz love. So i would expect my nuts drained and my dick raw, but nope every time. I have had experiences where I've been asleep (sober) and the next thing I wake up balls deep in the girl I am with, or ill wake up and she is fast asleep beating my dick. I have broken beds and angered neighbours, as a result of my cock not knowing when to quit. These are not re read lines from an erotic novel or a porno i bashed one out to 15 minutes ago, the point of all this is i want to know if anyone else honestly has this issue, I mean I feel as if im a borderline sex addict/nympho as well I am worried about my dick surely it cant be medically safe, as with viagra you are told to see a doctor after four hours of rock cock yet does this apply if its natural? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 It means you are retarded. Start taking the small bus and you will be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 yeah that's about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ipod90 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 So I have avoided this thread regretfully for long enough. I once bagged this 50yo Taiwanese bish when I was 18. She was a flat mate of this crazy guy I knew. She wasn't even slightly good looking. I needed somewhere to sleep for the night. I sent her an email asking for money once and she replied with a few pic's that made feel queasy. Shit still makes me laugh. My first root was in this abandoned house that was getting built. Had her on her back on a freezing cement floor. haha. She was super tight and could only get the bell end in. She also has this weird as growth on her stomach I never seen or knew about. I didn't let her know i discovered it. But in my head it was fucking flipping out. Plenty more but I am shitty at explaining this shit, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 marriage is gay Speak for yourself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I tried to convince the homeys we could extort her of mad loot by blackmail.....they were not down. Snitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I still got mad stories on deck, I never though this thread would see 2 pages let alone 20. you niggas are the scum of the earth. graffiti writers are disgusting people. there has to be more stories from yall before I float the thread again. edit, the ronald tattoo...nigga I was alive for both terms, I could give a fuck what you think, you're an internet troll talking shit on a sex thread, but ronald wasn't my first choice. my first choice was a jesus with down sydrome. my 2nd choice was peyton manning cause the nigga looks like he is autistic. everything else you said, did not read. I light hoes on fire. fuck have you contributed to this thread, other than being a whiny faggot? Says the idiot hipster with a Ronald Reagan tattoo on his head. Did you know that long before he became president Ronald Reagan made his name in the conservative ranks by openly hating on pot smoking hippies? Did you also know that your being an ironic hipster makes you the modern day equivalent of a pot smoking hippy? Keep making "ironic" excuses for the bullshit tattoos that you deliberately gave yourself. I'm sure they'll go over well with your future wife and kids or lack thereof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Get over it my cheesesteak. I am neither yours nor anybody else's cheesesteak. Tell your girl to get over my dick though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 My first root was in this abandoned house that was getting built. Had her on her back on a freezing cement floor. haha. She was super tight and could only get the bell end in. She also has this weird as growth on her stomach I never seen or knew about. I didn't let her know i discovered it. But in my head it was fucking flipping out. You sure that wasn't a cock? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 These are not re read lines from an erotic novel or a porno i bashed one out to 15 minutes ago, the point of all this is i want to know if anyone else honestly has this issue, I mean I feel as if im a borderline sex addict/nympho as well I am worried about my dick surely it cant be medically safe, as with viagra you are told to see a doctor after four hours of rock cock yet does this apply if its natural? i was like this til about age 24. if a condom was involved in insured that i would not come, but that i would likely break her record. it was neat most of the time, sometimes i just wanted a nut in a couple minutes and couldn't. oh well. and i'm not claiming to be any sort of sexual bad ass, i've done things i'm downright ashamed of and embarrassed about, but i've given some 2s and 3s the best nights of their life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eviltrailer77 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 DSD next time the wife drags me out to michigan to see her folks, I'm gonna have to buy your ass a couple brews! Fist playing the Capt. Ahab role, harpooning the white whaledogs *Edit: LOL at DAO for getting mad at the interwebz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ipod90 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 You sure that wasn't a cock? Yeah man 100% sure, It was like a boil or some shit. Fucken gross, her dad use to touch her I didn't want to fuck her up even more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 yo what's dao new screen name, someone pm me, I want to pm him and see if he is interested in buying my girls used panties no homo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 ahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McLovin Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 stuck it in the ass.. when i pulled out, fecal matter sprayed in my face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 the worst part about these threads is the people who come in and tell stories and you can feel the "trying too hard" vibe radiating through the screen. dsd is quality though pretty much what i was saying. seems like theres all these little details added on to a normal, everyday fuck to make it good enough for the thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.