shameful/awesome sex story souperthread.

[IrishCarBombs]

OH SHI-

 

[DSD666]

this thread is still going???!!!

[laughslast]

Nah, i tried though. My feeling is this, how often does someone ask you that? Its not my thing but ill atleast try it if the opportunity arises twice.

I was dating this muslim cat from bangladesh. Kind of hot and really into american metal and drums and guitars and cliff jumping. I was 19 and as cool of a personality he had, im americanized. I just wanted to jump his bones but you dont understand this guy couldnt even be caught holding hands with me. But i had my own apartment so he would comeover and chill. One day he ate me out. I was young and i was like you gotta stop im gonna pee. He was all aboit it and told me to go with it. I could pee in his mouth. Fuck that. I kinda got creeped and we parted shortly thereafter.

Bitch ass move.

So fastforward like 8 months/10 months? Maybe longer cause i was 21. Meet southern cat above. Fell for that southern accent, southern manners all of it. Super sweet but the horniest motherfucker ive ever met in my life. Tied me up with electrical chords, took me to strip clubs with him, but the one thing (well two) he wanted but couldnt get from me was peeing in his mouth. He asked me to pee on him when we were taking a shower once. I remembered the muslim cat, so i thought to myself why not try.

Cant do it. Cannot.

Even by myself i cant pee in a shower.

After that i guess maybe because it never manifested he always asked me to pee on him. Fucking foul but i really loved that southern bastard....

[IrishCarBombs]

I pee on my girl in the shower all the time.

Although she never notices.

[Newer Bigger Better]

I peed in a black girls mouth once cause she wanted me to. It was awkward, apparently water sports aren't my thing.

 

There was a girl i used to date, (some people on here know her) and i used to take showers with her, and i'd pee on her but i wouldn't tell her til after i was done.

 

Because im a dick.

[da1lyoperations]

Must spread rep ICA and propped NBB. I used to do that all the time to my ex. She'd turn around to get the soap/shampoo and I'd pee on her butt.

I think she caught me once but there wasn't anything she could do.

[Gat Bush]

kind of dating a squirter right now, so drunk one night I decided to go down on her, make her come a bunch to ensure future sexual romances with her down the line. the liquid didn't taste bad, more or less like just how a vagine tastes except it's vagina water. I didn't drink it and when it got in my mouth I just spit it all over her bed, legs, ass etc., and continued on to slay her out.

 

Whenever we fuckin' the bed gets a really big round wet circle. I don't know why she doesn't care when I make her wet the bed or why we just don't lay down a towel, I don't really care. But sleeping on a wet cold spot can be a bit uncomfortable. Sometimes.

 

Yep.

[Cro.]

Nah, i tried though. My feeling is this, how often does someone ask you that? Its not my thing but ill atleast try it if the opportunity arises twice.

I was dating this muslim cat from bangladesh. Kind of hot and really into american metal and drums and guitars and cliff jumping. I was 19 and as cool of a personality he had, im americanized. I just wanted to jump his bones but you dont understand this guy couldnt even be caught holding hands with me. But i had my own apartment so he would comeover and chill. One day he ate me out. I was young and i was like you gotta stop im gonna pee. He was all aboit it and told me to go with it. I could pee in his mouth. Fuck that. I kinda got creeped and we parted shortly thereafter.

Bitch ass move.

So fastforward like 8 months/10 months? Maybe longer cause i was 21. Meet southern cat above. Fell for that southern accent, southern manners all of it. Super sweet but the horniest motherfucker ive ever met in my life. Tied me up with electrical chords, took me to strip clubs with him, but the one thing (well two) he wanted but couldnt get from me was peeing in his mouth. He asked me to pee on him when we were taking a shower once. I remembered the muslim cat, so i thought to myself why not try.

Cant do it. Cannot.

Even by myself i cant pee in a shower.

After that i guess maybe because it never manifested he always asked me to pee on him. Fucking foul but i really loved that southern bastard....

 

wait, so you've been with three dudes who want you to piss on/in them?

good life choices have been made

[laughslast]

It was two, and sorry didnt mean to offend you.

[Giftopolis]

i'll keep it brief...

Drank a liter and a half of jameson with some broad in chicago...

fooled around- slapped her around- did a rough-bit type thing then passed the fuck out.

woke up and she was standing over the bed saying "what the fuck is that in the bed?"

 

i pull back the sheets and see a giant flattened shit pancake---

to my relief i notice that when she turns around the hershey highway is coming out of her ass and mine is clean.

 

biggest bummer is that we were passed out so hard from drinking so much that we had spooned and rolled around in our sleep leaving dried mini pancakes all over my thighs and stomach.

 

oh- i've also pissed at least half a dozen girls beds.

[CannahMontana]

ok guys...so this one, is very recent...this all went down over the past couple of hours..thought i would get on and share it. its not to exciting, its not awesome...its shameful...very shameful and for once, when it comes to sex, i can now say...im ashamed of myself.

 

 

alright...so it all happened when my homie got off work a few hours ago, the nigga brought me some chicken wings and bread sticks..fucking awesome, well this girl right, she been trying to fuck me for the longest, i jus tnever got around to fucking her, like shes sexy as hell and all, just never got around to it. the bitch texts me and says "im horny (: " so no lie i text her back and say "well come over and get fucked" well the same bitch has been trying to fuck my homie thats over at my house, so were thinking,yo lets run a train on this girl ya know, fuck it. aint no fun if the homies cant get none right? well the bitch is talking about walking to my house...which would take like an hour, i told her stop at walgreens and get some rubbers, the bitch ends up getting a ride, and came pulling into my drive way, hops out the car, she walks into my room and my homies eyes lit up, bitch had on this sexy ass top, and these short ass shorts, right off the bat im feeling on her ass, she takes her shorts off in front of my homie and lets me do a tag on both her ass cheeks, on one cheek, i throw my name up, the other i throw my homie up (took a flick and sent it to him) sooo anyways, i start trying to get the chick to slurp me up, shes like not with your friend in the room bla bla, well im like fuck, you tried to fuck him the other week why not try to take us both on.. so i whisper to my nigga like aye yo, why dont you just go out onto the porch and wait a min, ill fuck her, then let you have your go at it, for some reason the nigga wasnt cool with it, and wanted to run the train. i dont know about you guys, but i woulda deff sat outside for my nigga to get some action, like i aint trying to cock block ya know? well this dude was hassilin the fuck out of this broad, telling her "oh come on britny, you was just trying to fuck me last week, now you gonna be like this?" and all this other shit, im thinking in my head like damn man just shut up, i tried a few more times to get her naked, but she wouldnt, she would text my phone being all sneaky like "will you please have him leave" finally my boy is like fuck this im going to the bar, and he dips. left his ciggs there too, thank you for the half a pack of ports you full on hour cock blocker.

 

so anyway, the second he left, i walk back into my bedroom, whip my cock out the bitch starts sucking. WTF all i keep feeling is her teeth, im telling like "open your mouth up some more dam" and i would still feel just teeth, finally im like fuck this...give me that rubber let me just get my nut off and be happy, i pull the panties off, she bends over on all fours, and im cracking it from the back, straight smacking cheeks my niggas, then all of a sudden, i get a wiff..im like hold fuck this pussy stanks, and its dry as the sierra desert, this pussy is so bad, im starting to get turned off, and i start to go soft, im like oh hellllll na, i told her "look ima just pull out, suck me off till i nut" so i pull the off the scum bag, and she starts slurpin me again, im trying so hard to just get my nut so i can be happy and send this slut on her way...the bitch is so bad at head im starting to go soft again, i straight told her "look ima just jack off and when i nut stick it in your mouth and swallow it" she says okayy, so i sit there beatin off no homo, then i nut all down this bitches throat, i tell her, look its hot in here were going out to my porch grab your shit. ride home or not, i was seriously gonna send this bitch walking.

 

we step out on on my porch, i ask her hows shes getting home (i cant take her, house arrest sucks) and she says well i guess im walking, but it starts to rain, and now shes begging me to call everybody for a ride cuz her phones dead, im cold hearted, but i aint that cold hearted, so i start calling for a ride, nobody can do it, so finally i call up the taxi place, and ask em how much is it to take this bitch from address, to this other address she told me she was going to, they told me 20 dollars, so im like ok fuck it. i give the bitch a 20, she sticks it in her bra, we wait for the taxi, the taxi pulls up, and off they go. now im sitting here thinking, wow, fucking gay, i just pretty much paid 20 dollars for the shittiest pussy ive had in my life, i feel like a complete retard, if thats not bad enough, half and hour a later, the taxi place calls my phone, saying they pull up to the address, the bitch hops out and takes off without handing dude the 20. so now, for the past 20 minutes, the taxi company is hassling me for the 20 dollars they lost doing this cab ride, i tell em to fuck off, its not my fault, now they called again as i was writing this, saying its my responsibility to pay this cab fair, and if i dont they will get the police involved. and im already on felony probation so im like great, guess i have to another 20 now. called that bitches phone like ten times and didnt get an answer, fucking broke ass bitch, guess she really needed 20 dollars. Great. i cant believe how much ive gotten fucked over tonight.

 

cliff notes - fucked a fine hoe with a lousy pussy, got stuck paying her way home, she fucked me over, and i somehow have to pay an additional 20 dollars.

[grd]

ahaha unlucky. I'm not sure shame is the appropriate response.

[da1lyoperations]

That's bullshit man, why are they after you for the $20. She's the one who evaded the fare, you just got the cab to pick her up. No different if someone hailed it for her in the street or she got it herself.

 

Let them chase her for it, cops can't do anything to you over that. Unless you're on house arrest for being a serial cab runner I think you're sweet.

 

At least you got some chicken wings out of the whole day though. Haha.

[Realism]

Call your cock blocking friend and be like "yo, best pussy ever. You gotta sample this."

 

Seriously though, imagine if you had run train? All aboard the LOL Express.

[vivouno]

this thread is still going???!!!

 

yes.

please tell us moar stories DSD!!!!!

[CannahMontana]

Call your cock blocking friend and be like "yo, best pussy ever. You gotta sample this."

 

Seriously though, imagine if you had run train? All aboard the LOL Express.

 

lmao, i thought the same shit that next morning, but i told him it was tight and super wet im pretty sure hell fuck her with in the next week, and when he tells me about ill just be cracking up.

 

but yeah, i ended up telling the taxi company to fuck off, that i handed the bitch 20 dollars to get home, not my fault that she skated on em, i told em go ahead, call the police. after that, i havnt heard anything from em, they were just bluffing trying to get there 20 bucks, they know they cant hold me responsible for that shit.

 

but yeah on the bright side, those chicken wings and bread sticks were bangin, and mr cock blocker left his whole pack of cigs and his copper colored krink steel tip in my bedroom. thanks bro!

[guerilla925]

dont girls smell their own pussy? like come on bitch really? i had a stank pussy experiance recently too, bitch was good looking she had nice eyes and tan skin, ghetto booty, C cups. but when i hit it that vag was stinkin! like raw crab or shrimp. plus when i hit it from the back i saw a few hairs comin out her asshole. that shit made me loose wood quick, ended up getting head which was subpar. im not calling her again , very dissapointed, i potentially screwed over a friend for this broad. my friend was in love with this bitch for the longest even asked her to marry him, good thing she said no.

 

oh yeah there are some good stories in here, my story sucks. but seriously yall, thanks for sharing. some of these stories make me feel good about myself.

 

 

how the hell do you piss in another girls bed let alone six girls beds. haha some of you guys are crazy as fuck.

[injury]

cliff notes - fucked a fine hoe with a lousy pussy, got stuck paying her way home, she fucked me over, and i somehow have to pay an additional 20 dollars.

 

SHOULDA STUCK W/ THE WINGS AND STICKS.

[guerilla925]

Ill never know if it was an accident or not, dude was kind of a lunatic anyways so it probably wasn't.

 

I don't know about the ladies you guys are sleeping with... but getting an ass full of cum isn't very fun on my part. Later on I feel like I have to take a crazy poop and nothing comes out but man juice.

You know that feeling after you drank too much the night before and you're about to literally pee out of your ass? It's that feeling but instead of beer shits it's semen. Then there's the occasional awkward walk to the bathroom to clean up and avoid making an ass cum mess all over the carpet.

There's just some things that people don't tell you about anal sex that they probably should.

 

holy fuck i just died. that and the 13 year olds on here talking about their first times priceless.

 

hey laughing girl just whip that fools dick out. stop being scared, girls need to make more moves. sounds like hes a scared little bitch too, what kind of loser has a girl sleep at his crib and not try to fuck her or at least a little slap and tickle.

 

GIRLS WAX YOUR ASSHOLE.

[Newer Bigger Better]

I'm negging retarded comments lately.

[guerilla925]

c00l st0ry br0...

 

i was in vegas late last year. first time. stayed at the aria, brand new, fuckin nice place. so anyways the homey i went down there with had a bit too much to drink the night before. he tried to battle through, but at about 9pm dude was straight done. passed out and before he did, he made me promise to not bring anyone back to the room. he needed his faggot beauty sleep, no homo.

 

so i go down to the bar. im a bit pissed, feel like a fuckin loser all by myself. this decent looking blonde chick, i give her an 8.5, so realistically a 7 in my drunken state. she comes up to me and asks for a light. i give her one and she pulls out a pack of export a cigs. that pack screams canada, so i pull out my own canadian brand and we get to talkin.

 

one thing leads to the next. i thought she was a hooker. i was so naive being in vegas for my first time, so to test this theory i made the bitch buy drinks. i figured if shes gonna buy a few rounds for me, she definitely isnt out for my money. we proceed to get wasted.

 

girl literally carries me to the front desk of this 4 or 5 star hotel and asks where we could buy condoms. im fuckin done. im not the hugest dude, so if i woulda seen the security footage of this bitch dragging me around im sure i woulda laughed my ass off. she was pretty petite herself, so it musta been hilarious. condoms got bought somehow.

 

at this point im so drunk i dont care. i end up muff diving this hoe in the elevator, and it wasnt a direct trip upstairs if you know what i mean. i got walked in on twice. the first time i tried to straighten up with this silly grin on my face and the bitches skirt pulled up past her waist. the second time i didnt even bother.

 

we reached the 11th floor. security was waiting. they were chill enough from what i remember, gave me a minor chastising for lewd conduct in public, but let me proceed to her room.

 

i got a bit overeager. she didnt want to fuck in her bed as she had a friend who was sleeping there as well. we ended up hitting the bathroom. i got a bit rough and pushed her back onto the bathtub in an attempt to do the damn thing. i ended up pushing a bit too hard. girl went flying backwards and hit her head on the faucet. im like shiiiiitttt i felt terrible, but the bottom line is i ate this girls coochie, there was no way i wasnt gettin my dick wet. proceeded to smash this girl. pussy was tight enough, everything was all good, but i looked up and shes got this giant goose-egg protruding from her head. i swear the thing was convulsing. i just put my head down and continued till i finished.

 

she pulled the guilt trip card on me. by this time its 5am and shes like "arent you at least gonna spend the night with me?". so fuckit i pass out for 3 hours, wake up and dip. i was still drunk. somewhere from this chicks place to my room i realize i left my ipod touch there. in my drunken stupor i couldnt remember the room number. so i posted up outside the elevator doors and waited until said hoes came downstairs.

 

here comes the chick, swollen head and all out the elevators and her face was priceless...im like "yo i left my ipod in your room", shes like "i thought id never see you again!".

 

i got my ipod back.

 

epic shit my friend banging abitch while she has a throbbin head wound haha. then stalking her for the ipod.

[guerilla925]

I'm negging retarded comments lately.

 

why be such an internet bitch? i admitted my story wasnt gold but damn you are just a fuckin lower.

[Newer Bigger Better]

1. I didn't read your story.

 

2. Im negging your desperate need to fit in.

 

3. Acting hard wont work if you put your walnut creek area code in your screen name br0.

[grd]

why be such an internet bitch? i admitted my story wasnt gold but damn you are just a fuckin lower.

 

If I had 1000 posts I'd neg you too, you're poor punctuation offends me almost as much as your boring internet persona.

[CannahMontana]

the stories that are shared in here are pure awesome, and ill keep sharing.. like when im with a couple close homies of mine, well share funny ass moments, and crazy moments from our sex lives idk why but it seems like its a guy thing to do, even tho im sure females do it too, so this thread is like perfect.

 

I wanna thank the homie dsd for making this thread, and sharing some of the stories, i know you got more man, ill try to make it to detroit as soon as i can, not just to paint, but to just flat out kick it and have a good time, hollar at me homie.

 

keep on sharing yall, that one about the whore house was prime. ill post a pic of the bitches ass i tagged from my last story tomorrow or something, yes..the stinky pussy teeth using cab ditching bitch.

[vivouno]

i negged guerilla for his lame story,then quoting others story with his approval.

[Newer Bigger Better]

I feel that's a solid way to go about things.

[RobotEars]

Not super shameful but deffo on some mythbusters storybrah.

 

Im about 18. My gf, a good friend, and his gf go camping way up in the woods. We drive up to a campsite way up in forest, not a huge backpacking type trip, anyway.... We drink, eat pills, smoke tron, and not much happens that night. The next morning however...

 

Girlie and I are smashing right out in the open on a layed out sleeping bag. Im goin pretty hard, alcohol and pills still got me alil numb down there nawlmean? During said smashing I look over and see my friends had walked into our campsite to see if we were up yet. Obviously they see us naked and having smashorz so they dip. My gf didn't see them and we never really broke stride. Well I guess I wasn't really paying attention but when we finished we noticed that girl had started her period. Blood on me, sleeping bag, her, whatevs though no real big deal just first time that had happened to me up to that time. So we get up and decide we'll go get our friends and see whats up with today after we pack up our stuff. I honestly can't now remember why the four of us walked back over to my campsite after we were packed up and shit but there we were no more than 10 minutes after I had finished and there was a fairly huge BEAR sniffing IN THE EXACT SPOT WE SMASHED AT. If we had taken just a little longer that story might have ended a lot differently. My friends knew why the bear was there but my gf didnt know they knew so it was a akward kinda denial of 'oh hmmmm why is he doing that?' while the two who saw did know exactly why... we slowly and quietly backed away w/o the bear seeing us and dipped to the car.

 

Cliffnotes: I smashed in woods. Got period blood all over. Almost got eaten by a bear.

 

Mythbuster conclusion: YES. Bears do smell and investigate period blood.

[RobotEars]

Here's another one...

 

So I'd been fucking with the straight fish scale. The few peeps Id really talk to about it would have their stories of good shit and how mine couldnt be THAT good. Well it was. I had just started partying again (after a few years of being 'good') and was at a (shitty) pacewon show. Im doin some lil bullets of raw and drinking but not goin too crazy... Show is over and we decide to head to another bar. Peeps are driving but im on my Dee-bo-esqe crusty old schwinn. As Im pedaling down a slow dark street I check my phone for txts etc. Not paying attention I SLAM into a black tahoe/yukon/whatevs and completely CRUSH my pubic bone and man-package into the 'steer tube' of the bike. FUCK! I was dying. I was SO numb from the raw I didn't really know how bad it was. Im hurting for sure but the pain has got to be reaalllly diminished fom the snort. So I keep going to the next bar and need to piss. When I get into the bathroom I realised how blasted I really was. Fuckin torn flesh and blood (but no permanent damage) Im a bit freaked as I try a lil first aid on my junk in a yuppie bar sink (LOLZ). Ok motherfucker WHERES THE SEX STORY? Well I get home (3am or whatevs) and I show my girl what happened and shes all concerned and shit but also MAD HORNY (she'd been partying with snort too) so she does a line off my dick and we start fucking. you would think with the crazy torn skin I wouldnt get hard or she would have been put off by the grusomeness of it. WRONG. Im allright in the man-package dept, but that night my shit was so swollen and super hard that the girlie (who is pretty reserved and not freaky/vocal/adventurous) couldn't help but to go off about how it was bigger/harder/whatevs. Yes I have fucked on snort about a thousand times, this shit was different. Yes, I do have a small scar on my shit now...

 

Cliffnotes: I did coke. I crushed my penis on a steel bicycle. I fucked a girl while I had an unusually large (for me) erection.

 

Conclusion=Chicks Like scars, Chicks like penis, CHICKS REALLY LIKE PENIS SCARS.

 

 

 

Sorry for all the penis mental imagery. NH!!

[swaggmoneyy69]

ight nigga, im at my pad smoking a fat ass blunt of dro bumpin some gucci mane mixtapes so im high as fuck and that one song comes on stoopid.. "my ring stupid and my chain stupid" any ways i banged my homeboyz girlfriend to that song so i get the sudden erge to jack off.. so i flip open the laptop grab my jizz rag and zone off into MILFHUNTER.COM... anyways im jerkin like a hog to the old skool milfhunter vidz kiana ava devine alicia rhodes etc.. then i get a knock at the door, thinking its just a nothing i keep wackin it..... more knocking .. im like fuck so i throw on some shorts and put my dick in upward position (where the band on my shorts is holding the tip straight up) still with a huge hardon i open the door and see this smoking hot babe holding a package for me, shit it was my muthafuckin white tee's so me bein an obnoxious child im like ohhh shityea my white t'z shawty whuts good homegurl so she cracks a smile and im like im only gonna sign the form if you come in my house for five minutes so she's inside and my milfhunter.com porn is still bumping + the gucci mane cd.. so i take off my shirt (6pack) and shes lookin i throw on my white t halfway(cuz i knew it wouldnt be on long) and quickly and sneakily kickmy jizz rag under my bed and im like tellin her how bad im going thru a tramatic break up with my ex (a lie of course) but suddenly she opens her legs a lil bit and loosens up i rub her leg then comes the kissing so i got her pinned onmy bed (gucci mane still bumping) and i start porkin her face off gaggin her with my inches she lookin like she cant breath but then im like shit ready fo dat pu$$Y u kno.. so i wreck it she strachting my back im just rippin it in half and then i stick it in her ass... man was it warm like a cherry pie fresh out the oven so cum all in her ass and the wierdest thing happens my cat (whose name is fluffy meow-meow) nickednamed mickey .. my cats eyes turn red and his head turns around 360style like on some excersist shit i was like wow trippin out so then mickey starts attacking the mail women i just fucked like when good pets so bad.. so she runs outta my house being chased by my fluffymeowmeow buckass naked and im just like shit i go close my door, lock it .. then i goto my kitchen and make a hot pocket. one of the craziest day of my life.