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DSD666

shameful/awesome sex story souperthread.

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eh, fuck it. I posted this story in the special sped dating thread, and there were enough of yall that enjoyed? it enough for a thread. plus I dont wanna fuck my mans thread up, so I start this. feel free to drop any stories you got. me, I got so many shameful stories, that even at once a week this thread will survive. don't be scurred niggas. come out with it. you fucked fat hoes? me to. you got burnt once? me to. you ate some yeast infection? me to. and if you are a hoe lurking and just wanna tell niggas how when you were 14 and lived in the trailor park and regularly got bustos ran on you cause uncle billy use to make you sit on his lap, pm me, let me get those digits, and fly me to your city so we can make porno flicks and so I can get the clap, again. dont be shy. drop your dirt here. unless your girl creeps on ch0. that shit is bad news. the original story, with another to follow shortly tonight. and fellas, no bullshitting here. no need to lie. once you came in this thread you were automatically marked a fucking scumbag sex fiend...

 

 

"please bare with me for this might be long, but I am going to confess some shit that no man should ever confess to the oontz. but ch0 is my fav place to lurk, and yall seem like really bad people so let me share some foul stories with you. feel free to negaprop me for my actions but keep in mind I was a young man, who needed to get his dick wet. feel free to prop me for spilling shit that most my most close homies dont know about but will get to read and call and belittle me...

 

for those of yall that are my age, you remember the dial up days of the net, aol chatrooms, free match.com, learning for the first time you can smash by using the internet. those days. well in 1997, I was one of those dudes. 17 years old, and just mad excited about the possibilities. mad bitches. first up, the 40? something year old who was probably more like 50 something I met in a michigan aol chatroom. 1997. not even 18 yet. big tittied bitch. like 40 eees big titties. the kinda titties a nigga would never fuck with in his grown man stage cause he knows with them big nasty to the floor droppin titties, this bitch got some stretch marks, a mole, and an unkept, hair comin out the panites bush. but at 17, drinking all kinds of 40's of the 45, these titties were good to go. from what I remember, I ended up at this broads house one mile out of detroit, in a city called Ferndale. for those of you that know detroit, you know Ferndale is our San Fran. gay capitol of the motor city. and of course this bitch had mad gay dudes as friends. so after many drinks, many shots, and many gay dudes staring me down talkin bout how good I look and how young I look, askin for id and shit, I decide I had enough and want to get to it. I vividly remember her telling me "no" as I tried to go down and eat the cake. and she really did try to tell me know, for about 30 drunk seconds, before she let me have it. she let me have it alright, nigga oatmeal. what's that dsd? for you youngins, thrush, cream of not good wheat out the puss, YEAST INFECTION my niggas! yeah. woke up the next morning, feelin like I did something very wrong. around the mouth, a little crusty, no joke. could of been from all the drunk snoring in a dry room. coulda been from eating peaches and old ass cream. I got plenty more stories from the late 90's internet dating scene. just say the word."

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gave her a facial and wiped my dong off w her hair. B)

 

diff girl, was hitting from behind only to look down and see little specks of TP left over :haha:

 

 

Edit: OH YEAH, the thread I made as CreamyPotatoe titled ROOKIE MISTAKE has a pretty funny story in it. Wasn't funny at the time tho....

 

 

:haha:

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alright, so bare with me, I aint the greatest typer, and I tend to ramble, so I am gonna try and break up the shit so it aint one long ass story and hard to read. I am gonna share stories from 1997 to 2009. reason 2009 is cause that is when I settled down, kinda, and stopped most of the madness. except for when I got burnt. got the clap. which aint really all that cool of a story, but it does involve a pregnant bitch, and putting my mouth on vagina. but this story my fellow ch0 friends, is not only true, but probably the most foul shit I have ever seen.

 

I cannot say the girls name, or how I know her, to protect her identity, but a girl I knew for years let me get the craigslist pimpin on her. not what you think though. what first started out as an idea of her massaging niggas backs and dickheads for an extra fee, no sex, no oral, turned into me convincing her to do all kinds of fucked shit. I just came right out with it, like a true pimp should. my father had a real live stable of hoes when I was growing up, and had 6 dopehouses at one time. so I learned quickly. just be blunt, and honest with hoes. so after weeks of trying to convince her that I see these fucked up adds on cl all the time, niggas drinking piss, wanting to be in diapers, I got her. the deal was always no sex, no oral, no way no how. I played the roll of personal set niggas up to get peed on secretary/bodygaurd. now I aint that big, 6-3 220, but that 220 aint muscle anymore, but I was in the military, combat mos, and I can be imtimidating.

 

ok so fast foward like I said, took a few weeks of showing her ads all the time, convincing, and we got our first custo. black dude, in his late 40's. nigga wanted to get peed in the mouth, while he jacked off. he really wanted to suck on her pussy while doing so, but her rules, so the nigga got his face as close as he could. make it rain on these niggas. litterally 5 minutes, the nigga busted on his self, and we made out with 200 dollars. no lie, no joke. easy fucking money. I drove, I had to be there, didn't have to watch, but naturally a nigga cannot help but to laugh real hard while his girl pisses on a niggas face, and he's paying us! no homo, take a long, deep pause yall, cause this story is going somewhere mad homo. and it aint me doing homo shit, but just being in the room was most def some mad homo shit, and jesus will tell me so when I meet the nigga for blunts and bingo when I die. you've been warned...I'm going to go outside, smoke a newport, take a few hits off some good shit, and tell you one of the most foul shits you'll ever hear. and on my word fellow lurkers, this shit is 100. no lies. it gets worst tonight from here on out...

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mine are the garden variety "got drunk/hard up for a fuck and railed some rank/seriously ugly/fatty boombalada/ possibly partly retarded girl"

 

blood alcohol content goes up in exactly inverse proportions to my standards haha....

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The first time I ever had sex I lost my virginity to a girl who smelled like she had three week old octopus salad between her legs. Did I mention I earned my red wings too all in the same exchange?

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alright, yall been warned, so when you start reading this story, and once again, 100, no lies, keep reading, cause just when you thought it got bad, it got worst...

 

so we are going on a few months now, making serious money, normal going rate for niggas to get peed on, 200 dollars. with the exception of one night, with a put the lotion in the basket straight out of silence of the lambs type nigga, which I'll get to another time, shit is going smoothly. she wants to retire, but the money is to damn easy. on some nights we were rocking a g to split. so I up the ante...

 

this fat nigga from ohio responds to the fetish adds I been putting up. mind you, craigslist aint took down the adult gigs section yet. so here in detroit, niggas are filming mad movies the last few years. he worked on the set of some movie, he wouldn't tell me. anyway what this nigga wants is gonna be hard to run by her, so I think. he wants her to shat in his mouth. no biggie. niggas eat shit all over the world. so I ask her, and right off rip she asks me if I bumped my head. but girl, this nigga wants to pay $1,000 dollars, cash, all 20's, as I demanded. it only took about 15 seconds litterally for her to say yes.

 

so we email this nigga back and forth for a few days, working out the wrinkles. no sex. no oral. no touching her. just lay back and get shatted on my nigga. you'd think that'd be good enough right? wrong. now this nigga informs me, that he wants her to shit in his mouth, and he is gonna spit the shit in his hand, and jack off with it. nah. aint happening. I mean it's one thing to get shitted in your mouth, come on son. fucking fat white dudes from ohio. so we up the ante, 1500, cash, all 20's. he can't do it. he says the most he can do is 1200. after a few emails back and forth, we agree on 1200.

 

so this nigga has obviously done this before. he sends us an email the day before we meet with what she can eat. I dont remember off the top of my head exactly, accept for he wanted her to eat lots of apples, and drink lots of iced tea with sweet and lo in it. he was real adamant about those 2 things I remember. so the night we met him at this motel I use to stay in when I came home from the military. this old vietnam vet ran it and gave me hourly discounts. 30 dollars, 3 hours. so we get there, and I tell her, I am sitting this one out. I aint going in. it's bad enough I gotta be in the same room with niggas yankin they cock while you pee all in they mouths, I dont do shit. I use to dryheave changing my sons diapers, no joke.

 

so I go in the room with her, meet the dude, like I said, fat white dude, short, had a regular white dude haircut, with an envelope filled. count, it's on. she had drank almost a whole 5th of EnJ in the previous couple hours, and was pretty wasted. me, I dont drink, and at the time, didnt smoke. sober as fuck. so the nigga informs us that he wants me to sit in the chair and watch. for my fellow ch0 friends that smash hoes out in seedy motel rooms, you know that chair is mighty close to the bed. FUCK THIS. nah, wasn't in the payment plan my nigga. sorry. but he had figured I would say no, and had come up with 4, 100 dollar bills, bringing the total to 1,600. fuck do you do? 800 for maybe 20 minutes of watching your friend shit in a niggas mouth while he plays with himself? well, I live in detroit, and the unemployment rate been fucked up. I am doing it. no homo, mad puase. breathe...

 

ok so she is drunk, and pretty relaxed for the situation, and just wants to get it over with. he is laying on the bed normal, head on a pillow, and she squats over him and shits. normal shit? it's hard to explain. it was solid. not really big. but like 4 or 5 squirted out poos. my man LAPPED THAT SHIT UP. I was gagging mad. he taps her on the leg to move over, and 100 100 niggas, he spits the shit into his hand, and starts jerking it. NO HOMO, BIGGEST PAUSE YALL NIGGAS EVER HAD TO PASS TO A NIGGA. as he jerks his shit, with her shit, he sticks some back in his mouth and spits it at his dick. this goes on for a good3-5 minutes, but seemed like 6 hours, and busts, and immediately runs to the bathroom and turns on the shower. this girl has the nerve to tell a shitty mouth hand nigga she has to shower first. awkward. I dipped out to the whip, smoked a square, and hit what was left of the 5th.

 

after she got out, he asked us to stay for a minute cause he wanted to "talk about it." at first I was like yeah and as soon as the nigga gets in the shower, we out. but then, I wanted to know, what makes a nigga want to get shitted in his mouth? so we stayed, the smell was so fucking foul. turns out, this nigga is married, but wifey is leaving him. wonder why? apperently this has always been a fantasy, and he has done it a few times now. wifey is leaving cause she caught him on some shiteaters website, and when he asked her to do it, she figured ou tthe nigga was off his meds. then this nigga starts crying. that is where I draw the line. we got money in hand, it's a wrap. goodnight.

 

now the hilarious part of this story is she did stop after about a month after this. just back to peeing on niggas. but this cat actually emailed her back, talkin about he is back in town, can she do it again, in the back of the workvan, for 100 bucks. laughs. this nigga was your average looking whiteboy, but after getting shit in his mouth, seeing him cry, and taking a closer look, this nigga looked like that next door neighbor you know is wearing his moms panties jacking off to jeffery star videos. wild ass shit. litterally. now, we shared 2 aol email addresses. they were both hers. I tried to blackmail this bitch and told her I would tell her whole family, friends, and the intenet world what she did, with proof of emails for some loot, but she was smart, and already changed up the password to sign on to aol mail, and I lost all that shit. but I had one of my own my moms paid for, for the fam, and I did copy and paste some of the craigslist emails, so if they are still there, through thousands of old emails, mostly spam, I will post them. as I said before, I got stories for fucking years. all 100. no lie, no filler. enjoy, if it possible. next up in an hour or so, how I got the clap, and gave it to my girlfriend.

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ive skimmed over little details of this but ill type the whole story

 

i broke up with my ex, after a year or so we started speaking agaiin and were gonna get back together, right at the clutch she told me she'd beeen seeing someone else and she was gonna commit to him. so lesson learned, i proceeded to fuck both the girls she was jealous of on a regular basis, we'll call them S and J, then my ex's friend JC in the back of her tiny ass hatchback. some time passes and i run into my ex's friend L, she leaves a party to come hang out with me for a bit, i'm walking her back to the party and she says to me "so...can you fuck me in that park?" having previously hooked up with her i oblige and nut all over her dress, she giggles and says "(your ex) is at the party teehee" so i walk her back and the house its at has a tall fence but its pretty easy to see through as i walk past. i see L go right up to my ex and give her a big hug, whiping my cum on her dress, all over my ex, jackpot.

some more time passes and i fuck L's bestfriend C. just once, it was pretty awesome.

this chick adds me on facebook co we know the same people, she looks cute enough (boris tried to hit on her via xbox live :lol:) and shes down so she comes round and we're talking, i find out her older brother is my ex's new boyfriend. so obviously that just makes her more enticing, so yeah did that even if she was a little chubby.

 

one night me and my ex have those 6-monthly random hey whats up talks. we start to get into a fight and i tell her i've fucked both the girls she always was scared id cheat on her with, 3 of her friends and her boyfriends little sister, who she was apparently close with.

she cries, get angry, abusive, her boyfriend claims to never talk to his sister again (still hasn't to this day, i checked) and wants to beat me up (never seen him) so i get great satisfaction out of that.

obviously distraught and not knowing who to turn to my ex confides in JC's best friend, F. well i had been talking to F prior to this so the very day after my ex opens up, F comes round to my house and with no persuasion swallows every last drop and enjoys being treated like a dirty whore.

 

this story basically goes no where but basically its the perfect revenge on an ex. i'll admit i really did like her but after she fucked me around a couple of times i wised up.

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how I got the clap. was pretty easy actually. just have unrprotected sex with whores, and you should be good. for those of yall that can't get pussy, go pay for it. the more needles she uses, the better. anyway, on to it. so I am a huge mma fan. bellator, and ufc, but also the local shows around the midwest are pretty decent. one of my best friends, who is like a sister to me, hadn't seen her in over a year since I got home from the military, and just so happen to move to her neck of the burbs in detroit, so I hit her up. she is also a big mma fan, and I dont know if yall have a buffalo wild wings in your city, but good wings, decent prices, and they play every ufc for free. so I tell my girl, who is tatted from the neckdown, all pretty damn good work, and I am pretty harsh on tattoos, that I want to fuck a girl with mad tattoos. I never had. I mean I fucked crusty punk hoes with shitty indian ink tattoos, some punk rock hoes with stars on they wrists and shit, but never like a suicide type looking bitch. I'm in luck, just so happens, she has her girl living with her, and she's always down.

 

so my best friend in the burbs, he's lebanese and italian, I'm mexican and jewish, just wanted to throw it out there, we all can get along, pick these girls up for the fight. on the way to the fight I am babbling on about some of the piss stories cause I know I gotta come with something this hoe aint ever heard before, and she's fucking terrified of me. she looks alright in the face, but you can tell she was some sort of dopefiend in the past. we get to sittin down for the fight, and when she got up to use the bathroom, I noticed this girl had a cornfed ass for a white bitch. jackpot. could set an ashtray and a beer on this hoe while smashing from the backside. but no conversation really. I mean, I talk like I type. so hoes can be a little thrown off from it. so I didnt think nothing of the night, didnt think she felt me. couple days go by and my girl calls and says yo ( ) is all about you and wants to chill, so you should come through. now I dont know if my girl told her, but at the time I was slangin 1000's, watsons, and bars, and some shitty mexican weed. I still didn't really smoke weed. for the record, still really dont. not like most of yall. I take 2 hits of good weed and I am crying myself to sleep cause I am to high 3 hours later. anyway, right off rip, she asks me if I know anyone with vicodin. yeah bitch, I do. I'm in.

 

we spend the next however many countless hours, and I mean well over 7-8 at a time over the next few days just retarded high, I take xanax for my ptsd, she eats all and every pill in sight, mixed with pbr of course, hipster hoes, and just fall in love. no fucking. shit hardly any making out. this is right after my ex girlfriend broke up with me cause I got the fever. yall live on 7 mile and be the only "whiteboy" within a 10 mile radius and see if you dont fall in love with chocolate hoes. anyway, my ex and I had been together for 5 years on and off, and this wasnt sitting well with her.

 

I finally after a week or so of talking, and feeling puppy love for the first time since I fingered my first fat bitch in 7th grade, get the girl to come through to the crib, and stay the night. takes me about 2 hours of forplay, and basically begging like a sucker ass whiteboy to get the pussy. part of that forplay is sucking on her cunt, something I should of stopped doing when I was 17 cause of oatmeal yogurt out of 50 year pussy, but I am hard headed. or posssibly even retarded. I am sure mexican jews aint got good genes. anyway, I smash, and I mean, fellas, you know the smash. the type where you're trying to get this bitch to let you use her car, get her to have dinner made right when you walk in the door type shit, on a hot ass summer night. losing 4 pounds of fluids and shit. great night.

 

so weeks go by after the first time I smash, and she aint letting me hit it. seriously, bout 5 weeks go by. now normally, yall, and myself included, after 5 weeks dip for some new broad. but remember fellas, I'm in love, with that song playing in my head every 5 minutes. head over cock for this bitch. so I go with it. I confront her finally, and that night I smash again. now it gets dumb. she knows I paint. she knows my whole family is from, and still stays in various hoods in detroit. she knows my friends are on scumbag levels even greater than I. so naturally we start fighting about dumb shit. and the bitch knows I sell dope, so I am kinda nervous and want to start breaking it off. I do not drink. if yall go on the car thread, you will see me last 2 whips. the last few times I got drunk over the last few years, I painted a 3 on the roof and hood of my probe, and a 26 and a white line, aka a "racing stripe" down the side of my baretta, not to mention play with ak-s when I drink. I am reckless. so one night I am rarely smashed at the bar, and something stupid happened, and she drove over an hour to come see me, and I peaced out, litterally. she said if I left we were done and I threw up the peace and went outside and threw up whatever I drank, and drove home.

 

so a few days later I get a text from her while I am eating breakfast, talking about how she is pregnant. naturally, despite being a total piece of shit, I want to go with her to the dr. I dont believe in abortion. I mean, if the bitch is getting one whatever, but I aint paying for the shit. she texts me a few hours later and says I was pregnant but dont worry about it not like you gave a fuck anyway. now I was so baffled I didnt notice she said was, and went straight to her crib. she wasnt home. I got the text in her apartment parking lot that she aborted the little fuck, that it was mine, and I owe the bitch 400 dollars. I laugh it off and tell her to go fuck herself. how you gonna claim to get a kid sucked out you but not let me at least be there, then tell a nigga to foot the bill. bitch foot deez nuts. so naturally, we broke up for good.

 

the breakup was bad. lots of shit talking, threats that she is gonna get so and so, threats that I was in the military and my job was to kill people, INFANTRY for my fellow military homies, and that I would just burn her, and whoever elses house down in the middle of the night and dipset. so we stop talking completely, and my girl who introduced me has some bad news. what? well turns out the hoe was like 6-8 weeks pregnant. nigga fuck me. so now in my life I ate some yeast infection, got my red wings on 6 hits of acid, another story another time, and ate some baby. she really was pregnant. so I stop talking to both of them, cause my girl knew the whole time, but said she didnt think I would believe her. listen, yall have read a couple stories, we are getting to know one another, but I do got rules ya know. one of those rules is, yo dsd, that girl got the bug, herpes, the clap on clap off the clapper, I aint even thinking of said skank. and another rule is yo that hoe is pregnant. ok, smash. I fucked a few pregnant hoes. my kids mom was pregnant. but I aint ever ate her out while she was. that's my son in there son! I aint trying to lick the little niggas forhead.

 

anyway, fast foward sometime, and me and my ex get back together fucking on the regular, on top of fucking 2 steady hoes on the side, and a few? from the bar, not sure exactly how many, at least 3, but no more than 5. yall niggas doing the math? who from asia? now my girl, and the 2 on regular smash, that is unprotected, cause condoms give me a rash. or maybe it's syphilis? whatever. condoms dont make you money, and basedgod dont approve. so my girl calls me one day, me and the homie elmer, detroit, any ld heads? are about to hit a chill spot, nice summer day, and she is crying. she said she just got her test results back from the dr. my heart fucking drops. mind yall, when I went to the military, I thought for sure I had the bug. I figured, no way I could fuck this many whores raw and not get it. that was 2007. as of 2008 I was good. she says she got the clap. TOUCHDOWN!!! it aint herpes? aids? syph? damn girl, go get a shot, no biggie! I am estatic. so we get the 10 day pills, from the abortion clinic, aka planned parenthood. well, I didnt take all mine, I think I took 6 figuring after 6 days I was good. wrong. I gave it to my girl again! not to mention, the other 2 hoes never said shit to me, and I have seen them a few times since. I never had any symptoms. no drip. no burn. so it was whatever. went back to the abortion dome, and got that powder. 10 days later, good to go. ever since, I have been all about rubbers, and no raw. hello, my name is DSD, and I am a scumbag. HI DSD! thanks for listening.

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: first time i smashed on a college broad. freshman year. bitch was much older.

we exchanged genital luvin. then i pee'd on her probably really expensive down comforter.

 

 

: virginity loss. took me 1 year and 8 months to accomplish. faithfully. with the same broad.

one week after the deed. i gave her best friend a ride home from her cheer-leading practice

and ended up railing her from behind in the front seat of my mothers car. that was the second

time i ever had sex and i felt extremely shameful. i did this because the bitch made me wait

for a year and 8 months.

 

 

: first buttsecks experience. not pleasant. it stunk to high heaven and my dick was literally

covered in the worst kind of bowel. i said the first thing that came to mind. "your ass smells

like SHIIT! GROSS!" she started crying immediately. hysterically, is a better way to put it.

i felt horrible. but laughed later.

 

 

: first foreign smash. i befriended a group of f.o.b. japanese broads. all no less than 5 or 6

years older than me. which was pretty awesome alone since i was just turned 18. we'd grab pizza

at times and bullshit in the cafeteria. i'd teach them a thing or two about english and

they'd toss some japanese my way. i started weaseling pretty hard. basically telling this one

chick in particular i though she was very attractive(i actually said that, with hand gestures, because

she wouldn't have really understood). i'd heard before that a lot of women in asian cultures,

specifically the japanese, were raised "never to say no" to a man. she more or less

told me this wasn't far from the truth. after another couple weeks and being drunk a couple times

i told herr that in america it was perfectly natural to hook up with your friends.

the rest was history. she had a lot of pubic hair. and gave probably what was one of the greatest

head jahbs i've ever had to the day. i still feel like a piece o shit.

 

 

 

ps.

to clear up any age confusion according to said stories. 3 out of the four stories took place my freshman

year of school. yes. it was an awesome year.

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alright this one aint mine, just going off what the homie told me the story behind the flick. it was a house in soutwest detroit I believe. a few of my homies lived there. they paid these fuckers a 5th? of popov and maybe 20 bucks? I dont even know if there was any money involved. from what I know, these dudes smashed without rubbers, even though my boy offered a handful. this bitch had the bug, and sometime later down the road, my boy ran into one of the dudes. apperently one of these dudes died of aids. and the bitch I also beleive died of aids. I know not good story telling, but the flick speaks for itself. use rubbers my niggas.

 

 

flicks003-6.jpg

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i dont know...watching someone shit in someones mouth and then watch them jack off...i got nothing that compares and I thought I had done some shit.

 

fuuuuuuuuuuu

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Alright, well a couple of months ago my boy and I were talking about our ex-girlfriends and how good/bad they were in bed, embarrassing shit, etc. So he pops up with this fucking grimy story about his recent ex-girlfriend.

 

Homeboy said that they were smangin' and he told her to switch positions and bend over. Dude said that when he went to stick it in he noticed dingleberries all up in her ass crack. He said he didn't give a fuck and continued to smang a bitch. My face was like o___O

 

BEND-BITCH-OVER-AND-SEE-DINGLEBERRIES-CONTINUE-TO-SMANG.jpg?imageSize=Medium&generatorName=Insanity-Wolf

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