autoteller Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 This girl liked to be beat on while fucked, so after a few weeks of trying to convince me, i finally slapped her around, it was kind of weird. Anyways, one night she wants me to full on punch her, and with much hesitation, i finally slugged her a few times, not even close to full force, and she knew, so she kept telling me to hit her harder and harder and harder, and then she told me to punch her like i would someone in a fight. Sooooo...i did. Needless to say, she grabbed at her jaw, and ran to the bathroom naked, past my roommates. She ended up with a broken jaw, which is. Well, i don't know quite yet. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cro. Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 This girl liked to be beat on while fucked, so after a few weeks of trying to convince me, i finally slapped her around, it was kind of weird. Anyways, one night she wants me to full on punch her, and with much hesitation, i finally slugged her a few times, not even close to full force, and she knew, so she kept telling me to hit her harder and harder and harder, and then she told me to punch her like i would someone in a fight. Sooooo...i did. Needless to say, she grabbed at her jaw, and ran to the bathroom naked, past my roommates. She ended up with a broken jaw, which is. Well, i don't know quite yet. bitches cant take hits like that not surprised she couldn't hang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 should have punched her in the side instead bro cleandick sans broken jaw oner. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
publicenemyno.3 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 i told this one in another thread, but hell it's pretty fucked up and i don't mind getting paid to tell people about fucked up shit that happened to me. i was seeing this girl for awhile and we had been friends for a minute before that. that's all the backstory this needs. we finally start kicking it and fooling around but she'll only blow me. nothing else. i knew she didn't like to get her pussy ate so i just chalked it up to that she only liked to be fucked. some girls are like that. anyway, a couple weeks go by of me getting blow jays and finally she lets me get at it. we were a bit fucked up and i had to piss from the all the beer so i went to the bathroom. i took a look at my dick and it was covered with what looked like period blood. no biggie, i had got my red wings before so i went back upstairs and finished. afterward, i mentioned that she was on her period and she then informed me that she was not. she then proceeded to tell me that she had an abortion a couple months ago and probably hadn't healed up completely yet which is why we couldn't fuck for a minute. it was fucking gross but doesn't top anything that dsd has had to say. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trap-A-Holic Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Ill be back with a story a little later on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
why write Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 i let my girl piss in my mouth.....its all cool yo, whats wrong with some bedroom watersports? what u niggas scared or something? hahaaaa 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i eat babies Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Once, during a particularly rough session, I feel the most intense pain in my dick. I immediately pull out, and there is blood everywhere. Turns out I'd torn my banjo string, that thing that connects your head to your dickskin. Shit was really fucking painful at the time but it actually healed up pretty fast. Although I need to be careful when having rough sex now for fear of a repeat.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 that abortion shit is no joke nigga. the first girl I ever fell in love with and actually dated for a quick minute was pregnant when I met her, I know, running fucking theme in my life, and she got that shit hangered out, and apperently they fucked up cause we went to take a shower one day, and a big ass blood clot came out of her. crying all hysterically and shit. I shoulda ate it and slapped her on the spot. she broke my heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 me and the homies joke a lot about this spot, call it the $1.50 handjob spot, but real talk, you can get a handjob for 2 dollars. if any of yall ever visit detroit, hit me up, it's on me. anyway, switching it up a little. not nearly as grimy as some stories I still got for yall. back to fat girls from aol. no big deal. so this was in 98, I had been chatting with this hoe for a few months, she sent me a picture, banging ass mexican girl. so we finally meet up by my moms crib in the burbs, I had no whip at the time, met her in a party store parking lot, quick walk so no biggie. I get there, it's dark, I remember it was past midnight, and there is one car in the lot. I see a skinny broad with long black hair so I figure it's her, but as I am approaching I hear my name...from the passenger side of the whip, and the car is moving, like someone is struggling to get out. the skinny girl walks around to the passenger side and this bitch finally emerges out the whip, weighing in at least, and I know weight cause I fucked mad fat hoes, more on that later, at least 300-350, and maybe 5-5 tops. facepalm. I go to turn around and walk home, and she does the whole wait I can explain bullshit. I listen for a few seconds about how she is a fat lying bitch, and the picture was her friend, who wasn't even there! the skinny girl was a white bitch, and I dip out pissed. funny thing is, at that time in my life, I had some weird fucked up fetish for super huge fat hoes, and probably woulda smashed if she got me drunk and gave me cigerettes. I was a cheap date. moral of the story, like I said for yall that are my age, aol chatrooms were on point for smash. only problem was 8 out of 10 times, the picture wasn't them, or was 4 years old and the bitch gained 600 pounds and had the afro with the chinstrap. this happened to me more times that I can count. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
griteeth Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 the superbowl of 2009, I forget who played but a group of mutual friends came through to watch it on the big screen(noflatpanel) my roomate and I had. my girl was there and at half time we went back to my room to fool around. she sucked my dick for a while, the kinda sucking that would hurt if it didn't feel so good so I had to eat the box with a fury after that. I was fucked up but the shit tasted mad irony(haha) and I chalked it up to the booze.I quit and got busy so we start to smash missionary and after a minute i pulled out and realized the front of my shirt and my whole dick area was bloody and that shit was on my collar. I was half checking it off my list of to-dos and wondering how i was going to get to the hall bathroom. she was mad embarassed ike don't tell anyone, because we could hear all my friends in the living room. I don't think i told..kinda liked that girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gat Bush Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Eh, when I was 19 I was dating this black chick who loved to dome up. Being black, she loved fried foods. After a nice meal of fried shrimp and hushpuppies and a blunt for me I decided I wanted a nice braining session. She would take it deep like crazy, choking herself status. I didn't have to do shit. Well problem with crazy doming sessions is it stimulates the gagreflex. Half digested shrimp/fried grossness all over me. I made her clean it off and finish. Why am I sharing this story :lol: ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
why write Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 all the typical 'i got a little blood in my mouth' ' i got a little poop on my dick' stories over and over again haha. i wanna hear some fucked up shit. which one of u fucked a tranny 'by accident'? or which one of u takes it in the ass by your girlfriend? huhh i know ur out theree ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 I never thought this thread would go anywhere, props on cats coming out with shameful shit. another from back in the day, 99 I believe, my homie and I went to these girls house, sisters, I had a mad I want to fuck your face crush on the younger one, but she wasn't having it because of my horrible reputation of being an overall piece of shit. my homie got to smash the other sister. the younger one ended up dipping out and left me to rummage through the house and steal cds. I found this mega (no homo) dildo under her moms bed, and hid it in the couch cushion. a little while goes by and the girl comes out the bedroom talkin about she has to shower. I had to shit really bad and told her instead of just let me go piss real quick. of course she aint having me shit before she hots up the bathroom, and basically tells me to fuck off. my boy came downstairs and she went up in the bathroom and locked the door. I had to go so bad so like the gentleman I am, I layed down a bunch of paper towel and shit on it in the middle of the kitchen floor, and we dipped. fast foward sometime later, she had a house party. the summers of 97-99, I, and my boys ate a lot of acid. we showed up at the party and of course she aint letting me in the house cause of the shit inncident. so my friend at the time, whom I never spoke to again, went in and dosed her dog, and bird. a mutual friend informed me the bird died that night, and they had to put the dog down cause it went crazy and was biting everyone. I am down for dumb shit, but not to animals or children. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotsauceinthedickholewastaken Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 He shit on the kitchen floor!!! lol. I love this guy! no homo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 fuck...wow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis and Clark Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Iwent in and dosed her dog, and bird. a mutual friend informed me the bird died that night, and they had to put the dog down cause it went crazy and was biting everyone. . . hahahah she was asking for it man, dont feel bad! not letting you shit.. c'mon son Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 i've fucked some gross fat girls in my day but my stories are like kindergarten to this shit... this thread is pure entertainment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanfullofretards Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Me and my ex gf had sex in a lake under an inflatable trampoline, while her family was on the beach making us food. No, she didn't get a yeast infection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 so I am gonna tell this story, even though it has no place in this thread, it is gnarly, and sad as fuck, but I did do a lot of fucking in the bedroom, which was the back room of the house, and had it's own door, which led to multiple fat girls coming in and out for years. I am gonna leave a few details out to protect a fellow oontzer who will read this... in the june of 2001, a childhood friend of mine passed away at the crib on the eastside of detroit due to a self inflicted gunshot wound. backdrop to the story, I knew him since 1993. when my moms and pops divorced, I would stay with my mom and sister in the burbs over the summer, and we met. he was originally from the eastside, mom was a retired detroit cop. one of the hardest cats I ever knew in my life. whiteboy, about 6-4, and a good 250, one of those fat musculur dudes. when we were 13 till we were 16, we smoked weed everyday together. he also dropped a shitload of acid when we were younger. fast foward to 2000, my homie and him got the house on the eastside. across the street were some whiteboys, like phish followers from what I know. would go to all kinds of festivals through the midwest, buying coke, weed, and acid for next to nothing, bring it back to detroit, and sell the shit for way more money. my fellow 12 oz homie and him worked at the same bowling alley. but they would always have from 4pm-5pm to hang out and smoke and shit. so my 12 oz homie goes to work, and apperently my boy took a vile of acid, with some still in it, and an eyedropper with some water, shook it up, and down the hatch. some hours go by and he called 12oz homie tellin him he had to come home, he was flippin out and talkin all kinds of crazy. now mind you my boy that passed was a regular acid user, no rookie, so 12 ozer knew shit was real. so some shit happens, time passes, shit seems to be going so so, my homie m, that passed, was talking about dead relatives, his grampa I believe specifically, and just off shit. my homie 12oz was making weed cookies I believe and m pulled out his .45 and cocked the slide back. 12oz knew what he heard, and went in to plead with him. he was soon looking down at the .45. so after screaming at m for pointing it at him, loud bad noise, crying, and whatnot, 12oz managed to get the clip from him. he turned around to go to the kitchen and the gun discharged. m took one in the femur? whatever that big ass upper leg bone is where your main artery runs. severed. automatically bleeding out. 12 oz was about 6-1 if that, 140 pounds soaking wet vegan, so moving a flailing man the size of m is not happening. he did manage to wrap it tight turnikit style, but that aint doing shit. 911 has already been called. m would turn blue and start to slip out, and 12oz slapped the shit out of him to keep him around, and said m's eyes would get all huge and had this fucked up kinda stare. times are hazy from the story, butif you know detroit, you know if you get shot, it's gonna be at least 20 minutes on average, and that was about how long it took the cops to get there, no ambo yet. when the cops got there it was over, m started making noises, like growling noises at the pigs, and was flailing around. one cop even said something along the lines of yeah that's it flail around and bleed to death being a dick. by the time the ambo showed, m was gone, somewhere between the living room and the front yard he had passed. the next day, my homie 12oz and my homie r came over to tell me what had happened. I left my crib to go help cleanup, as m's mom showed up after the inncident and tried to help clean up. 12oz sent her home. now if you ever seen a man bleed out, you know that when the blood dries, you can scoop it up like paper. lots of it. there was a rug in the living room, that I took out to the driveway, and took the hose to for at least 20 minutes just daydreaming of my homie, and the blood flowed nonstop and stained the cement, until r came up to me and told me to stop and just throw it away. I had a big bloodclot I didn't notice, and possible a piece of m's leg on my shoe, some original 90's flights, that fucked me up pretty bad when I noticed. all the shit I left out of the story, and hazy recolections, it was something that had scarred me for life. good did come out of this story, I dont know specifics, but his bone marrow saved some kid/s, his eyes were donated, and his skin saved some kid in jersey I think from some nasty 3rd degree burns. as he was passing, he was a huge simpsons fan, as is 12ozer, he was talking about jebus, and save me jebus. I took over his room in that house afterwards, and some of the nasty fat girl stories, and the next story I will tell yall took place in his bedroom, and I always smiled thinking my homie knows what kind of huge piece of shit I am. edit. I left out a major part of the story, and I apologize, talking about it I get wrapped up in what had happened. the most important part of the story. we never found out, or knew what had happened. I to this day believe he went to put the gun in his lap and the one in the chamber discharged. I highly doubt he would of shot himself in the leg, yet he was so far out of it maybe he thought it would sober him up? I have no idea how or why it happened. also, it may have beena .40 cal. I have to ask 12ozer the specific gun, but I am almost positive it was a .45. rest in paradise Marty B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis and Clark Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 and then....? (that was not a weird sex story) rip marty b so my 12 oz homie goes to work, and apperently my boy took a vile of acid, with some still in it, and an eyedropper with some water, shook it up, and down the hatch. some hours go by and he called 12oz homie tellin him he had to come home, he was flippin out and talkin all kinds of crazy. is this a bad idea? i have a little left in my eyedropper and was thinking the same thing. bout 3 hits left and was going to wash it out at the end and try to get one more. is that 'last' washout a super hit or what? i dont normally freak and thats kinda how i like it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 1. RIP to your boy. 2. with the exception of one night, with a put the lotion in the basket straight out of silence of the lambs type nigga, which I'll get to another time I would like to hear this story please. 3. my homie got to smash the other sister. the younger one ended up dipping out and left me to rummage through the house and steal cds. I found this mega (no homo) dildo under her moms bed, and hid it in the couch cushion. I know shitting on the floor was the highlight of this story, but this part had me LOLing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 alright this next story is stupid long, so I am gonna leave this thread to yall for a minute after this one. first off, if any of yall can top this shit, I would love to buy you a case of your fav beer/5th. not only is this story true, a fellow 12 ozer can back it up, as I lived with him, and we were inseprateable for this part of my life. besides that, when I made this thread, this was the number one story I wanted to tell, and as I said before, all of this is 100. I have no need to lie about anything I have done in my life, and at 30 years old now, with an 8 year old son, and having for the most part calmed down, I am just glad I can share these stories with yall. let me tell you a little story about a girl I went out with named Natalie. Nat was your typical Italian catholic bitch. I think she was molested as a child to. my girl teri hooked me up with her, and teri called nat ds, cause when she got drunk she had this look in her eyes like she had down syndrome. right up my alley. now other than looking like she might be half mildly retarded when she was drunk, she was bangning. teri and her worked at a pool hll in the burbs together, and as my fellow 12ozers that know me well, know that I can hustle a pool table pretty well. so I get to talking to nat at work and come to find out she wants to break up with her man. why? well because apperently the only way homie can bust babies is if she sticks a couple fingers in my mans ass. I laugh hysterically at this, and start asking who he is, what he looks like, cause I know the niggas in the pool hall. I find him, tall, skinny ass whiteboy, I am 6-3 220, he has to be 6-5 maybe 170 soaking wet, and to top it off, he is a trailor park thug. dont know the type? just think of whiteboys who listen to eminem, smoke newports, and fuck 13 year olds. so I front on this nigga wasted one night, and he is to pussy to fight me. I did have a rep at the time at this pool hall for fighting, so I dont really blame him, cause I had been fucked up pretty bad there, and fucked up a couple cats pretty bad there. so that night before nat got out of work she straight up dickrides me, talkin what are you doing, you need a ride home, blah blah blah. yes. I need a ride. to my mommas house. I am staying there this weekend. she was wearing a jean skirt that night, and to my surprise, no panties, so as we are driving to my moms crib, I suck on my finger for a couple seconds, reach over, and start playing with her pussy. she doesnt budge, Im in. so I start fingering her, and mind you I am pretty faded, I pull my finger out and smell it. she looks at me all fucked up and asks me what the fuck was that? I explained to her that I wanted to make sure her pussy didnt stink, cause I was diving face first tonight. ok, this is important before the story is continued. when moms and pops divorced, my mom refused to live in detroit with my little sister, so she moved to a really nice burb city, was actually rated in the top 10 safest cities in america for a long time. but moms was poor as fuck, so for 10 years she lived in a trailor park. as I said in previous stories, I would stay with moms and my sister for the summer, and on weekends somtimes. my mom is a big girl. real big. ok, so we get to my moms, and my room there is like a closet litterally. I got an air matress, a dresser, and a tv. my sisters room is next to mine, and there is a bathroom that connects our rooms, seperated by 2 locking doors, so as to not wake up little sis, I throw on happy gilmore. I light one of those big ass round candles, it's on a glass plate, and set it on the floor next to the bed. drunk mad smash fucking away, I smell something, look her in the eyes, and ask her if she smells that? normally you dont ask a hoe if she smells that? while fucking her, and naturally she said no, as she was pretty faded also. problem is, mom smelled it to. it was the fucking air matress melting into the floor! so on cue, I am on top of her, I take my free arm and start swatting at the flame that is starting with a pillow. she thinks its hilarious, and doesnt stop me from fucking her.I hear my mom walking around the trailor, cause she's big, so I am trying like mad to bust. I hear my mom start screaming whats on fire and I scream back nothing as the flame went out, it just smelled like burning rubber or whatever it is air matresses are made of. I bust all over her stomach and immediately put my pants on, right before moms flings my door open screaming about what the fuck is on fire. me and moms lock eyes, and had that uncomfortable stare, before she dips back down the hall. I flip on the light to find that the flame had went up the panel wall a little, charred black, lucky I didnt burn down the fucking trailor, the air matress completely melted into the carpet, and almost HALF THE BITCHES HAIR SINGED THE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! no joke, no lie, 100 perent 100! so you think the story is done, and it aint. she ends up dating me for almost 4 months, wearing wigs till her shit grew back. I take her to the crib on the eastside where Marty B died, and learn something awesome about this bitch. not only is she a cokehead, but like dudes story up above, she likes to get physical while fucking. first girl I ever choked out, and the first time I was ever called a bitch, and a pussy while fucking a girl. first time she asked me to choke her out, I thought she was playing, so I kinda did. she proceeded to call me a bitch, faggot, and pussy till I choked her the fuck out, till she nearly fell out, came, and took it in the face. some of the best sex I ever had. but it dont stop. one night I am smashing from the back, and she asks me to yank on her hair/wig. I oblige. then she asks me to slam her forhead into the wall while we're fucking. I am now a pro at this type of shit. my homie 12ozer almost called the cops on us one night, and said whenever we fucked it sounded like wrestlemania in the house. I ended up breaking up with her after I found out that the bar she had worked at, cause she got fired from the pool hall for getting me stupid drunk every night for free, and my fighting, she was fucking the owner of the bar for coke. but I'll be damned if some of the best sex I ever fucking had wasn't with a bitch that looked mildly retarded when she was drunk. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Detroit sounds fantastic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qawee Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 you are a 1%'er my friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotsauceinthedickholewastaken Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 and then....? (that was not a weird sex story) rip marty b is this a bad idea? i have a little left in my eyedropper and was thinking the same thing. bout 3 hits left and was going to wash it out at the end and try to get one more. is that 'last' washout a super hit or what? i dont normally freak and thats kinda how i like it.. We used to get snapple bottles full of liquid and we would make sheets and sell them back in the 90's, we would make almost 400 bucks a sheet in profit selling singles at raves. Anyways, when the bottle was done and there was no liquid left in the bottle we would fill it up with juice and drink it. We called them swishies. Holy mother fuck you want a trip...it's mental, one dude lost his mind, we had to keep feeding him oj and shit all night. Not a good scene. For me....most intense trails ever. I would see a car go by, and it would take over a minute for it's trails to go away. Pretty sure this is why I'm borderline retarded now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 ^ the most I ever took at one tim was 18 hits. it wsa more than enough. I got enough acid stories for a fucking thread. I'd have to ask but I am not sure if they could tell how much he had in his system from the autopsy. couple more stories later on. edit, I am retarded, and forgot why I even responded in the first place. I have ptsd. it stems from my childhood and all the shit I've been through. I had no idea what it was until 4 years ago, when I ended up in the hospital, I almost went into shock from an anxiety attack. I am sure all the acid didn't help any. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Eh, when I was 19 I was dating this black chick who loved to dome up. Being black, she loved fried foods. After a nice meal of fried shrimp and hushpuppies and a blunt for me I decided I wanted a nice braining session. She would take it deep like crazy, choking herself status. I didn't have to do shit. Well problem with crazy doming sessions is it stimulates the gagreflex. Half digested shrimp/fried grossness all over me. I've had two girls puke on my dick, bitches couldn't hang haha 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 yall got that on me, never had a bitch throw up on my dick, I did get a couple bubbledragons in my day. there is actually an old school porn series called bubbledragons, I was obsessed. quick story, my ex and I spent all night getting wasted with my homie whom we had in from philly for a couple weeks in the summer of 07, and did the whole steady wasted fuck sesh. well yall know when you bust sometimes nut dries up around your peehole and what not, I woke up around 8 am laughing hysterically still pretty drunk on the floor wondering why I was on the floor laughing when it hit me...she was screaming at me cause apperently I was having one of those peeing in niggas dryers with clean clothes drunken episodes, except I guess I just started pissing all over her and laughing about in my sleep. ended up pissing all over myself to. staying in tonight, my cat got fixed last night so I gotta keep an eye on her, so more stories later on. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pissdrunkwhat?! Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 IVE SLAYED A COUPLE BROADS THROATS INTO PUKING ON ME.. DID NOT APPRECIATE. YOUR THREAD ON THE OTHER HAND, IS GREAT. I SAID IT IN SOMEWHERE ELSE, BUT I COULD TELL YOU WERE A SICK BASTARD. HAHAHA PROP'D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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