Fist 666 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 hindsight. i fucked some great things up at that age too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Just for futher clarification we are not talking about The Standard "ruined the set of egyptian cotton bed sheets that where a gift from her mother, we really chrished them." Something more along these lines... Junior year of high school I had been dating this girl for about 3 months. She was on the swim team, in ap calculus and getting a full ride to Cal Poly for that shit. This girl had a future ya know? She had no bussines being with a thug ass kid like I was. Her parents fucking hated me from the second I stepped thru the door. She had them fooled in to thinking she was this virginal little good girl but this bitch was an undercover freak. Bitch LOVED the dick and missed no opportunity to get it stuck in her. Due to legal entanglements I was unable to get my license until I turned 18 but she always had her moms Volvo and $ for weed and munchies, so for me it was a pretty sweeet deal. Until she started in on that standard girl shit, "Why do you always dress like that? Why dont you let me take you shoping at X and we will get you some "nice" clothes." So after about a week of this I'm fucking done with this bitch. I figure I will grudge fuck her a couple more times and be done with it. Couple days later she is dropping me off at my house so she can make it back to her house by her 11:30 curfew. She wants to fuck before she heads home, so we hop in the back seat and I proceed to dig it out. I go to finish on her and I see I'm covered in blood. Not a ring around the base of my dick, but drenched in bright red blood. I tell her she is bleeding and she freaks out. I open the door and as the light comes on I can see the full depth of the devastation. There are bloody hand prints up by her head, two bloody leg prints from my legs, and the topper, a bloody pool and an ass-shaped clean spot where she had been laying. Needless to say there is no hiding this carnage on cloth seats. She is still in hysterics telling me I have to come home with her and talk to her parent with her, I'm having none of that business. She continues to cry and blither for a few more seconds then its like the acceptance of the inevitable sets in and she gets the thousand yard stare. Super calmly she tells me " I have to go, I will call you when I can." That was then last time I ever saw her or talked to her. About a month later I find out from her friends that her parents fucking lost it. Put her in a priavate Christian school, took away her license, pulled her out of swimming and put her on full blown lockdown. Cliff notes: Fucked a girl in the back seat of her moms car and made it look like a murder scene, got her sent to a private school, and probably fucked her scholarship deal in the process. I had a bloody massacre story similar to yours in this chicks basement while her parents were upstairs watching TV in the living room. Pretty sure I already told it on 12oz before though so I'll spare the details. We were able to figure out a way to clean up the mess though. You's should have just drove back to your crib or a homies crib or some shit and got to cleaning that shit as best as you could. Or better yet, one of her friends cribs so that she could have a change of clothes to come home in. Fuck the 11:30 curfew. Even if there was some residual stains left over it wouldn't be the bloody, backseat, sex dungeon massacre that you let this broad come home to mommy and daddy with. And I'm sure you's could'a invented some story about a friend busting his head skateboarding or some shit when they asked about any little stains that were left after cleaning that shit. Sounds like you ruined this broads life. She probably hates your guts and always will for the rest of her life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 besides that whole h4rdc0r3 thu6 look is long gone and nobody should ever have to wear pants that cover their shoes ever again. that shit should have stayed in the 70's. "h4rdc0r3 thu6s" wore bell-bottoms in the 70s? Or are you saying "h4rdc0r3 thu6s" wear raver pants circa 1993? WTF are you talking about? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CONCRETE RIVER Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 First blowjob ever I was 13. I thought I was gonna cum--pissed in her mouth instead true story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 LOL That's foul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gat Bush Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Cliff notes: Fucked a girl in the back seat of her moms car and made it look like a murder scene, got her sent to a private school, and probably fucked her scholarship deal in the process. Shoulda called the Wolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bed framed Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 First blowjob ever I was 13. I thought I was gonna cum--pissed in her mouth instead true story LamontSanfordpointingandlaughing.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CONCRETE RIVER Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 That bitch got up and ran all the way to the bathroom to spit it out. She was a trooper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREE HOOVER Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Ur da man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ipod90 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 First blowjob ever I was 13. I thought I was gonna cum--pissed in her mouth instead true story #swag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 haha the blood story reminds me of a time i beat guts.. i fucked my ex lady at her friends house in her friends parents bed. after i beat i walked into the bathroom, turned on the lights and it looked like i had been painting a fence red with my dick. not that epic of a story. just on par with the blood tales and the fact it was the parents bed. i got a couple homies that tag teamed a retarded girl behind a home depot, but thats a story for another time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UPS! Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Just fucked a woman minister on sunday... yeahhh 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink panther Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Tp? Fuck I wish I had just seen tp while doing the doggy style. this old bust down I used to bang had chunks of shit a cm above her asshole I was damn near done so I just closed my eyes and stopped breathing once I busted that nut I had my mom come down and kick her out I was 17 and my mother hated any girl I ever brought home so I lit a smoke and my mom came down stairs naturally and broke into my room kicked us both out and said no more smoking in my house after that I never talked to that girl again I even thanked my mom after 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Internerd Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
you can microwave bacon Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 i got a couple homies that tag teamed a retarded girl behind a home depot, but thats a story for another time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UPS! Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 I wound up meeting a girl a few months ago that turned out to be a straight freak. Basically went over her pad and the first time we got behind closed doors shit got weird.. So she comes out in all black leather, corset, dark makeup and all and I thought I was about to be on some S&M type shit, which I havent done but wouldnt be oppossed to.. but nope it was weirder. So she gives me a lapdance sorta, licks my neck and all that good stuff.. works the pants off and drops down to her knees, grasp my dick in both hands, and right before she slipped it into her mouth she looks up at me, and smiles... pulling back her lips to reveil vampire fangs... and them bitches looked like the real shit. She then proceeds to suck the hell out of my dick, like, well you'd think a vampire would suck on someone's neck. .. and I gatta say for my first vampire/vampiress blowjob that shit was bum. Cliffnotes: Met a normal ass looking girl, met up and fooled around, then the next time she sits me down and comes out dressed like a goth and proceeds to suck my dick with movie-quality vampire fangs. The end Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 took some 25i with my lady about a week ago tripping balls, we decided to get naked and roll around in the bed. she starts riding me, and i don't pay attention to the squish sound i keep hearing. she eventually stops and says "we're making a mess" she carefully helps me up and walks to the bathroom, flicks on the light. i've never seen such and amazing color red before. it was everywhere. down her legs, down mine,. covering my crotch. and slathered all over my cock n balls. the deepest color red. it looked like i murdered something with my dick. no sex for a week after that. couldn't look at her the same,. it's all good now though. taking birth control affects her bleeding, she missed a pill and was bleeding for two weeks straight. women: wtf are you doing to yourselves? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 we're not doing anything to ourselves. you should have just chilled out and enjoyed it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keepitrail Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 When I was 14, I was dating this girl who I met and went into a decadent decline of pot smoking and alcohol, thereby landing us both in rehab. Later on, we'd get my dad to drop us off at AA meetings down town. As the meetings were mostly filled with old men chain smoking and telling war stories, we were quite bored most of the time. We got to one meeting about ten minutes early and thought we might sneak in a quicky. We found a room that wasn't being used in a back hallway and started going at it. I remember it was one of the greatest sexes of my life as the notion of being caught excited this girl to a level of moisture unsurpassed in all of our previous endeavors. Just as we were almost climaxing we heard a creak and an older man, a friend of my fathers from childhood and the main speaker of the night walked in on us and, startled by what he saw, knocked over a big stack of metal folding chairs, scaring the shit out of me and her, and I pulled out and tried to pull my pants up, raging boner making it difficult as he is clamoring to get out of the room. We had to get our papers signed so we had to go back into the meeting, which we were late to now, and sit there with this old man staring at us the entire time. He told my dad about it and we were never allowed to go to meetings together again. I broke up with her on christmas day for some reason and a couple years later she was 15 or 16 and pregnant with some wigger who had a fake diamond earring and smoked meth. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UPS! Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 KIR, you were going to AA meetings at 12? Or am I just reading that like a tard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Grabbed a young chick up one time, banged her in the apartment, got her the value menu from the BK drive thru, and dropped her back at her home so I could go on doing my thing. Quick & easy I tells you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 we're not doing anything to ourselves. you should have just chilled out and enjoyed it. wimmins. you eat a pill that stops you from bleeding out your gash. you don't bleed. then one day you miss your pill, and bleed for 2 weeks straight. i'm not a plumber, but it sounds like the clog came undone and let loose everything that was backed up for many months. so i say again, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELVES? nobody enjoys a bloody rape dick except inmates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 and KIR was going to AA at the age of 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UPS! Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 Well ya dont say, KIR has been a gangster since middle school no shit. Ive got more, but im hoping someone else will start embarrassing themselves in here. I dont have any good vagina blood stories either, so thats all on yall. If theres nothing new by tommorow ill spill about the cokehead with a crazy occupation I was boning earlier this year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 blood in my jizz a while back fixed ittt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Ferreal Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 ecently i was at a buddies house who lives with like 6 other people, so theres always a good amount of heads there. Anyway i called over this chick i met the day before and we did a little blow and had some beers and i ended up fucking her in my buddies room within like 2 hours. After that we went out on the porch where everyone kicks it and my ex girl friend was there on the porch. At the time I wanted to get back together with her but in the meantime was banging every chick who ever liked one of my facebook statuses.. I walked off the porch and left without saying anything to anyone. 20 minutes later the girl i smashed texted me "i left i dont know where you went. did i do something wrong?" I didnt text her back and walked back to my buddies where my ex still was. we got drunk and then i took her home and well ya know the rest. she still doesnt know that happened and im surprised one of my boys corny room mates hasnt told her. the end Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HUSK Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 Damn PLAYA!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Ferreal Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 IM A PROBLEM!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Back In 88 Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 Was banging a girl in a hostel bunk in Berlin and crime stoppers walks in, lays down in the bed opposite mine with his head facing towards us and starts chatting. After I was done the dude who'd been in the bunk above me told me it was like being on a rough boat ride. I wanna go back to Europe. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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