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dwight

"probably not exactly how it happed..."

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But it's how I (you) remembered it, so the shit is hilarious and/or interesting.

 

Thread for your favorite bullshit/exaggerated stories you pull out socially because you have an art to your storyteilling. (or you think you do).

 

one of mine...

THE NICKEL BAG

 

Was at the mall in the Washington DC area & I was with my best friend at the time & a girl I liked but she didn't like me back (fucking friend zone), but we were really good friends type shit. Anyway we were like 14 or 15 years old, haning out at the arcade, playing Street Fighter II, (I was always Ken) & the mall Street fighter master showed up & kicked my ass like 9 games straight with Ryu, so it was extra embarrassing, especially since I was trying to get my hands on this girls tits that was with me.

 

$3.75 later we bounced from the arcade, & on the way out I saw "Jay" (the wigger kid that always has the Raiders Starter jacket & matching cap, halfassed drug dealer.. You had one I'm sure... They would sometimes shave their beard to that super thin line that perfectly followed their jawline type motherfucker), so he has some weed & "we" buy a nickel bag from him. He hands it to me it's wrapped in foil & we get it back to my place to smoke. I construct a bong with a empty Scope bottle, the tube of a Bic pen & a socket out of my dad's toolbox & start huffing this shit down. Shit turned into a cartoon, we were losing our minds, & I figured out that we had just smoked weed that was drenched in PCP. After about the first 5 minutes we started having alot of fun. Felt invinsible, visuals were nuts & I got to hold hands with the coolest, hottest chick while walking through to woods- out of our minds on angel dust.

 

We got married in 2004 & are happily married to this day.

 

My advice, try PCP. But on accident...

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So you raped her in the woods, she got pregnant and her religious parents didn't want her to abort, so then you had to marry her.

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I knew you all would come through with the sarcasm contest... No hate, it's fucking awesome. I am uber positive & you won't bring down to your level. that's how i win. I won. bitches.

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when i first started smoking the herbs, my mom was concerned.

 

not because of the pot, because she used to smoke it, but because of the off chance that someone would "lace" my weed with other drugs.

 

I reassured her, "Mom, these are drug dealers. They make money selling drugs. They won't lose money by giving me extra drugs I didn't pay for."

 

Which I think still rings true, even in your half bullshit arcade story with Paco the dope man. That wasn't PCP, that was BIC PEN you were smoking in a socket set when you were too young to think for yourselves.

 

Your wife will leave you for a hairless midget.

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pcpclaps.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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