"probably not exactly how it happed..."

[dwight]

But it's how I (you) remembered it, so the shit is hilarious and/or interesting.

 

Thread for your favorite bullshit/exaggerated stories you pull out socially because you have an art to your storyteilling. (or you think you do).

 

one of mine...

THE NICKEL BAG

 

Was at the mall in the Washington DC area & I was with my best friend at the time & a girl I liked but she didn't like me back (fucking friend zone), but we were really good friends type shit. Anyway we were like 14 or 15 years old, haning out at the arcade, playing Street Fighter II, (I was always Ken) & the mall Street fighter master showed up & kicked my ass like 9 games straight with Ryu, so it was extra embarrassing, especially since I was trying to get my hands on this girls tits that was with me.

 

$3.75 later we bounced from the arcade, & on the way out I saw "Jay" (the wigger kid that always has the Raiders Starter jacket & matching cap, halfassed drug dealer.. You had one I'm sure... They would sometimes shave their beard to that super thin line that perfectly followed their jawline type motherfucker), so he has some weed & "we" buy a nickel bag from him. He hands it to me it's wrapped in foil & we get it back to my place to smoke. I construct a bong with a empty Scope bottle, the tube of a Bic pen & a socket out of my dad's toolbox & start huffing this shit down. Shit turned into a cartoon, we were losing our minds, & I figured out that we had just smoked weed that was drenched in PCP. After about the first 5 minutes we started having alot of fun. Felt invinsible, visuals were nuts & I got to hold hands with the coolest, hottest chick while walking through to woods- out of our minds on angel dust.

 

We got married in 2004 & are happily married to this day.

 

My advice, try PCP. But on accident...

[famecrazy]

it's like the 12oz version of Sleepless in Seattle.

[dwight]

^^ha, ha - props issued... So you're familiar with that film, ehh?

[SONolAR187]

cool story br0.

but thats some disney shit, maybe i can slip miley cyrus some and live happily ever after

[KM4RT]

So you raped her in the woods, she got pregnant and her religious parents didn't want her to abort, so then you had to marry her.

[TRANNYHANDJOBSONER]

either way props issued

[dwight]

I knew you all would come through with the sarcasm contest... No hate, it's fucking awesome. I am uber positive & you won't bring down to your level. that's how i win. I won. bitches.

[volcom8811]

he won^

[KM4RT]

Indeed.

 

[The Flowsmith]

Nigga.....what?

[andrewreynoldsx]

[hotsauceinthedickholewastaken]

I love drugs...but not PCP...we don't get along at all.

[griteeth]

I don't think i'd be very good with smoking laced up buds, no I'm quite sure I would not

[~KRYLON2~]

pcp works in mysterious ways and none of them good

[Drue_Down]

In my version the tranny was a girl and my hypercolor was a gwar shirt.

[Getoe]

[JUST THE TIP]

fuck exaggerating stories.

[nsmbfan]

when i first started smoking the herbs, my mom was concerned.

 

not because of the pot, because she used to smoke it, but because of the off chance that someone would "lace" my weed with other drugs.

 

I reassured her, "Mom, these are drug dealers. They make money selling drugs. They won't lose money by giving me extra drugs I didn't pay for."

 

Which I think still rings true, even in your half bullshit arcade story with Paco the dope man. That wasn't PCP, that was BIC PEN you were smoking in a socket set when you were too young to think for yourselves.

 

Your wife will leave you for a hairless midget.

[metronome]

yeah. oil residue and melted plastic get you crazy high. duh.

[TheGreatGatsby]

There was just an Intervention with a lady that had been smoking dust for 25 years. Bitch was bat shit crazy.

[Cool_Hand]

[Miley Cyrus]

dude you got free pcp! score!

[NightmareOnElmStreet]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[nerfs]

dust juice

 

[visual_ransom]

dust juice

 

 

pretty bad ass song, pretty bad ass video, pretty ugly ass woman on there.

[abcs]

hmm. Ok. I snorted a bunch of K (on purpose) and my ex got dropped off. This

broad used to just show up all the time broke needing things all strung out on coke.

Aside from that she wasn't that cool but looked good. So i'm not in the mood to

fight and shes being a bitch. I tell her i'm taking her home and she gets shitty.

Shes fucking up my high and like usual she just showed up without calling. We dont talk the

whole ride and all the sudden she grabbed my keys from the ignition and the steering

wheel. I stopped, she punched me in the eye and jumped out and into the car behind

us. Dumb move by a not so bright girl. It was some random stranger and in a

shitty neighborhood on the eastside of Detroit. I got lucky. The ring part of the key broke so i

was able to drive home but she had my house key. That night i made the conscious decision that

if she tried to break in and cause trouble i would kill the bitch but it didn't happen. I changed

the locks and put her shit on the curb

we didn't get married

[LUGR]

^LOL, I heard that one before.

[nerfs]

pretty bad ass song, pretty bad ass video, pretty ugly ass woman on there.

 

pretty sure thats the point

[NightmareOnElmStreet]

-random dude/chick at social gathering talking about 151 or any other

outrageously strong alcohol...

 

"i got SUPER fucked off everclear one time and almost died,

fucking went to the hospital and got my stomach pumped."

 

 

-bystanders and what not

 

"wow, thats gnarly, i never had alcohol poisoning but i've come close."

 

 

-Me (cause i always gotta be on the one up in public)

 

"oh SHIT, Bacardi 151 is CRAAAAZY yo, my old college roomate and i

copped a bottle of that and deaded it on the way to see a fucking Rob

Base show.(it takes two to make a thing go riiiight) i woke up the next

morning covered in piss and puke with grass stains all over my shirt. the

last thing i remember is being dragged out of the spot for pissing on a

bright red carpet in vip while my buddy was stealing champagne from rob

bases table. apparently he thought we are fucking hilarious and ended up

giving us a ride home. i don't really remember any of that shit but i know i

was como-tose sick for a whole week after. i puked so much that morning

night the RA later threatened to have us both removed.

[SystemFailure]

Exaggerate everything. That's how funny happens.