swordfish meatloaf Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 forget about how cost effective.. wiping with newspaper will cause toilet backups and other serious plumbing problems. plus your landlord will not be pleased when he finds 6 pounds of the weekly enquirer in your septic tank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UPS! Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 If life ever gets you down..listen to college radio and sleep. Yeah, and masterbate because no bitches wanna fuck some dude who lives in a fucking outhouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 When you have to sign documents, take the time to read them and further take the time to understand them. If you do not understand them, ask the people who want you to sign and if they can not explain them to you in a way that makes sense and fits the document then do not sign. Think a little about how the law works, often land lords will have you sign a lease that is not in compliance with the law. Well guess what? The law trumps their silly little document even if you did sign it and you have the upper hand a lot of the time. Always have a little instant coffee in the cupboard for if you run out of the real stuff. Try not to drink too much at company christmas parties. Be in control of your finances even when you are broke. Know who you owe and how much and do not hide from it. If you can't impress em with facts, baffle em with bullshit. Be honest with females, if you do not like a woman but like the pussy do not go saying that you like them just to get laid, it will backfire in the end and is a bitch move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Be honest with females, if you do not like a woman but like the pussy do not go saying that you like them just to get laid, it will backfire in the end and is a bitch move. Worst advice ever, but only because you think it's a "bitch move" Personally I don't lie to girls for pussy, but I have PLENTY of friends who do, and it's hardly a bitch move Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b.hussein Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 get a lawyer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 Here is one I learned today, Trader Joes Dish Detergent sucks ass, shit is all over my dishes even after running the machine twice. I dunno Swamp, I figure that when a man wants some pussy they ask for it. When a man loves a woman he tells her. When a man wants some pussy but can not get it without saying that he loves the woman then he is being deceitful, degrading both himself and the woman which counts as something of a bitch move in my book. That aside, it is a recipe for disaster anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatbastard Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 When you have a dream or goal like getting in shape, getting a better job, starting a business etc, dont look for reasons why you cant do something, look for the reasons you can. TAKE ACTION, TAKE ACTION, TAKE ACTION! planning and thoughts are great but personally the best doors have opened for me when ive taken action. The human brain is capable of amazing things and you dont bring them out by sitting around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipsycripsy420 Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 You guys give some shitty advice. Don't shit where you sleep. Learn how to tell time based on the sun/moon/stars. And if it don't make dollars it don't make sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soul vice Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 And if it don't make dollars it don't make sense. one of the best tracks off that blakroc album Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeaaaah baby Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 dont pick blisters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i eat babies Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 If at all possible, avoid having girlfriends from your friendship circles. Shit will get fucked up when you break up. Also, keeping the two seperate gives you space away from each other. Plus, it can kind of fuck up the group dynamics if a there's a few people sitting in couples amongst everyone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~KRYLON2~ Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 smile! you want to be here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DIRTY D Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 THERES NO SUCH THING AS BEING EARLY , YOU'RE EITHER ON TIME OR YOU'RE LATE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wisetuxedo Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 be nice to everyone around you, not pussy pushover nice, but friendly atleast people remember you when your the guy who brightened their day dont spend the night at a girls house multiple times and expect things to be chill all the time, it doesnt work like that apparently buy lots of orange juice and less vodka= note to self dont drink when your upset, shit just gets mpre fuckedup and its impossible to fix it well find joy in the simple things /nh make sure your teacher/boss/person ahead of you always knows your name and make them smile once again /nh and ofcourse fuckbitchesgetmoney Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracked Ass Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 If you write and are short of cash: Stop at a Home Depot. Buy a can of black on your card and get cash back at the register. Now you have cash, didn't pay the ATM fee, and have a can of black, which you KNOW you'll use. Somebody said carry a rock if you're walking in the rain so you can throw it at the cars who deliberately soak you by driving through a puddle. I avoid this by only walking on the left in the rain. I can see motherfuckers coming and avoid the whole thing. One time the sidewalk was narrow and there was nowhere to go and some morons in a pickup truck saw me and the puddle and I SAW the driver's eyes light up as he got ready to steer toward the puddle. So I looked him in the eye and stepped off the curb into the puddle. He wasn't ready to kill me, so he had to go around and I stayed dry. (Obviously this bluff is discretionary based on vehicle speed, eye contact, puddle size, etc.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinky the kid Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 free advice. if twinky sends you a link in a PM or on AIM. dont click it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinky the kid Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 awwww whadafawwwwww mayne! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NICKCOTTAM Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 if a hobo looking dude comes up to you and says he has some fire its either A. fake weed B. bammer or C. mold never buy weed from homeless people or white guys. in downtown seattle atleast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLICKCLACKONER Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Program your body so that every morning before you shower, you take a shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 ^did that, makes for a great start of the day. get your body into some sort of sleep schedule, you'll feel more rested when you wake up each morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twofiftylbs Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 If life gives you lemons make lemonade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watson Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I got lemonade and lemon teeth Lemons watch me mix the shit Lemonade complexion, east-australian girl be killin me She say i be killin her, i say i be feelin it Four days then im sick of her, cause her brain is lemonhead Cocaine white exterior, Interior Lemonade Yellow wit da off-white trimmin I call that da super drank Yellow diamond pinky ring Call that dere da lemon rock Jewelry box a lemon bin, my earring size a apricot Yeah i smoke that strong alot, yeah i need some of what you got Half a pound of lemon kush, call that pack the lemon drop Canary yellow lemon watch, big bird yellow top Yellow Polo, Polo, slippers white and yellow polo socks Gucci Mane be pumpin dawg, he dont got all he say he got Just stash one Lemon homie, i can supply them the 50 glocks Yellow boat parked at the dock,Yellowbone gon, make it drop Flip da flop mine up the top, then go buy me a yellow yacht Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackbookKWC Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 okay... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R@ndomH3ro Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Set your alarm clock five minutes fast, you will thank me later Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevem.yzerman Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 For some strange reason bitches love smiley faces, use them in ur texts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wisetuxedo Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 when your at the atm and theres a bunch of recipts, look through em quick and take any that have super amounts of cash, put them in your pocket for later... when your out and about and a girl asks for your number write it on the recipt and just say oh this is all i got in my pocket, lady thinikin you got cash=calls 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipsycripsy420 Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Man one time i was walking on the left side of the street with two of my homies on a rainy day and i guess i was just looking at the ground for a few seconds when they stepped to the side but i still got splashed yo. Call me stupid for not keeping my head up but this shit can happen to you on any side of the street. But also, i found forty dollars on the ground yesterday at a grocery store because i was looking at the floor. And there were quite a few people standing near by that shit that didn't even bother to look at it. It sometimes pays off to be looking at the ground. *To cracked ass' post on the last page. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b.hussein Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 dont express your feelings in any way, not anger, sadness, surprise, none,even in your sentences when talking, it makes you look stupid. everyone is always lying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter_Milkshake Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Yo, take naps. That shit makes you feel mad good and refreshed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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