SilentBob Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Originally posted by Milton Mostly I just drink beer and listen to usher songs... haha, thats gold. I wonder whatever happend to usher. Casek: Are you in a position to re kindle it with her? (It sounds like doing this might be a bit of a head fuck for you. But on the otherhand it sounds like your not going to stop feeling shit for her anytime soon) ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casekonly Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Originally posted by SilentBob haha, thats gold. I wonder whatever happend to usher. Casek: Are you in a position to re kindle it with her? (It sounds like doing this might be a bit of a head fuck for you. But on the otherhand it sounds like your not going to stop feeling shit for her anytime soon) ... nah, not in that kind fo position at all. she barely speaks to me as it is. only when she wants to know something. that's what it feels like anyway. she's a constant headfuck. i have no idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Very well written, Milton, my good man. It’s true that honesty is key. That Trent quote puts it well. The other night, I was at the bar for an acquaintance’s birthday. A ton of women arrived while I was sitting in a booth, chatting it up with a couple of guys and girls. I had my eye on this one girl, but was having trouble finding an opening. Later in the night (10 pints, 4 shots later), I approached and sort of crept into a conversation that she and an old friend’s little sister were having. I don’t quite remember what the conversation was about, but I’m pretty sure that I had an idea what I was talking about. Shortly after, with a smile on my face, I told her that we hadn’t been properly introduced. I went on to say “Hi, my name is Weapon X. I’m a pig, and really, I just want to get into your pants.” Well, of course I didn’t get slapped. I was honest, but had already shown her respect by listening to what she had to say, and all in all, having an intelligent conversation with her. Now, we didn’t “hook up” as they say, but every mission has steps to take. Plus I blacked out after the spliff that night, and my friend says I was humping a lamp post on the walk home. Good thing there were no ladies to see that. Fuck Muni is correct in his having standards. I’ve learnt that if you want a dime piece, you can’t be seen making out, all drunk, with a fat chick with a moustache on her ugly mug. Or maybe you can, but no superficial broad wearing the Prada her 47 year old boyfriend bought her will drop her panties for you. Nor will the young lady working for a masters in some sort of school thing. One thing I need to be doing, because I’m no master, is finding some intelligent chicks. You know how I start those “What book are you reading” threads? Well, I’ve decided that is going to be a staple question of mine when I meet women. That way, I’ll have respect for the young lady, and I won’t feel that urge to manipulate her. The main thing, I believe, is to have confidence. Dress decent, and act like that expensive cologne you’re wearing is your natural scent. When talking to a girl you like, don’t stutter, and always make deep eye contact. When you say the girl’s name, say it like you’re some actor in the cheesiest chick flick or romance novel that’s ever come out. I have found that a lot of girls will laugh (that’s your cue to laugh too), but eat it up. One last point. Everyone probably (well, hopefully) knows this. Lens touched on it a while ago in another thread. If you’re at a bar, don’t act like you just want to get laid, ie desperate. Make sure that when you’re with your friends, having a good time is the most important thing. If you’re not chugging pints, you should be watching the highlights, or playing pool, or going out back to burn one, etc. Be yourself, have fun, and the good looking pussy will find it’s way to your casting couch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuck muni Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Originally posted by Brownbread? and to get a respectable chick without spending money one way or another is almost impossible. i'm that dude that claims he's never gonna spend money on a chick never gonna get sprung and bla blah blah but women just have a way of fucking with your head. for instance for like the last two days i 've been going out with this chick whose a fucking pain. shes a complete dime, smart, pretty as hellll but the biggest pain in the ass. evry time i've been out with her she brings a friend. since she hardly ever speaks and acts like the virgin mary, i start talking to her friend and she gets angry and gives the cold shoulder act. anyways today after treating this chick and wasting all my fucking gas she gives me a " i had a nice time i'll call you, bye ." i'm driving home thinking to myself "did that just happen" hahaha holy shit i can relate to this shit so well...i kno a girl just like this but whenever we kick it her friends are always around and im not about hitting on chicks in front of their friends....BEUCASE IT DOESNT WORK they all put on the "OMG" face and start gigglin with eachtoehr fuck girls manye....if i chick wants me she should hit on me...i dont got time to waste chasing tail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanity Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Originally posted by fuck muni fuck girls manye....if i chick wants me she should hit on me...i dont got time to waste chasing tail http://www.random-abstract.com/archive/sept/images/ali-g-wall.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kr430n5_666 Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 http://www.kak.ru/images/archive/13-14/nash/PAGES/NEWS12.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KYU Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 having a job and/or money helps too slangin rocks is not a job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted May 30, 2004 Author Share Posted May 30, 2004 Mr X touched on a lot of points I was going to make and I still plan too, even though that bastard stole my thunder... :lol: Seriously though, everything was well put and the last 2 paragraphs are definitely true and worth reading again. Thanks! Today, lesson 2: DRESS TO KILL. I told you last time to get the fuck out of your house. I meant it, and you should have tried to make plans today for going out in the next few days. If you didn't you get an F for yesterdays lesson. I know, baby steps, its hard to quit 12oz... Now you have to be thinking to yourself, "Milton said go out, but my pajamas and slippers don't fit the dress code at the bar/club." True indeed, so today we're going to discuss getting ready both physically and mentally to go out. First things first, you need to get clean. Take a fucking shower, self explanatory. But take it so that ideally you'll end your showering procedure about an hour before you go out. If you rush it you'll feel gross the whole time because you won't be dry and if you do it too early its basically wasted. Remember kiddies, start at the top and move down. I don't know, whatever. Now rinse with mouth wash, brush for 2 MINUTES, like the dentist says and then rinse again. Gum is not good enough because A. It leaves your breath smelling too minty and suspect and B. It wears off after an hour or so. Brush for goodness sake. "Brush your teeth please do it, brush them night and day..." Deodorant, most people buy a strongly scented deodorant and then wear an expensive cologne, this is wrong. Use a mildly sceted deodorant so that the cologne is more pronounced. Use enough so that you don't smell in an hour and don't put it on when you're still wet from the shower. Then spray cologne, one spray on the neck and one or two on the body depending on how strong you want to smell, don't spray it on your damn clothes either... *Bonus: While were on the topic of cologne, take a woman with you when you pick it out. She doesn't have to be good looking or even intelligent for that matter, just female. The sales girl at macy's isn't going to do it. Notice how she always picks the most expensive cologne? And yes, good cologne is important, if you've ever read a womens diary, you'll know they pay attention to this... Getting dressed: The key to dressing to get laid is dressing to get noticed. You can take this overboard believe me, but if you blend in you will look like every other person out and it won't get you far. The more popular the spot the more it hurts to dress the same. I know its easy to just wear what you wore to work, and this is doable, if done right (I'll get to this) or what you wore hanging out with your buddies. This ISN'T what you should do. I had an issue of playboy once with famous people and their signature styles, and this is important. In that article the signature was a single specific thing that made them different from everyone else, whether it was wearing their watch over their shirtsleeve or tucking in their teeshirts or whatever, they had something that was theirs. Find something you like or something that works for you and make that your style. I started a thread on blazers a few days ago, blazers are my THING. You never see a person wearing a blazer to a dance club, never, but I always get complemented on it, why? Because it stands out. I don't look like every other frat boy asshole in a von dutch hat. The other day I had traffic court, and didn't have time to change, so I loosened my tie untucked my shirt and went out like that, suit and all. It was fire, believe me. This is getting a bit long, so I'm going to have to make the last 2 parts brief. If you don't have a style thats "yours" go simple, just make sure you're dressed appropriate for the place you're going. Tee shirt, Jacket, Jeans, whatever, don't get fancy, you'll look gay, just act Doctor Delusional. And for goodness sake don't wear polos with the collar popped and no jacket. Yes you can pop jacket collars because this is traditional, but shirt collars are over. Also, undershirts are key, they add bulk where its supposed to be and keep everything tight... Getting mentally prepared to go out is another step to getting laid. Have you ever gone out and for whatever reason felt like shit. You were sick, or you had a fight with somebody, or somebody made fun of you; the other day my friend and I were joking around and I talked about how he screwed me over during highschool by hooking this girl I was into up with another guy. And he said "I asked her about you first, but she wasn't into you..." Realize this was over 3 years ago, but I went out and got no play from anybody, nobody would even talk to me. That shit can effect you and a negative mood can make all the good grooming in the world useless. In the hour between your shower and leaving, throw on some music, funk works well, anything chill and fun. The effect of music on the human mind is wonderful. If you put something too hard on you'll be anxious, put on something too slow you'll be boring. Just chill out, get ready to have a good time. And go out and do it... Milton, One small step for man... Bonus: Try this experiment, get an undershirt and write something like "Bad Mofo" or "Sexy Bitch" on it, then wear it out. I bet you'll feel a little boost of confidence. Stole that gem from cosmo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timemachine Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 haha cosmo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Originally posted by Milton I had an issue of playboy once with famous people and their signature styles, and this is important. In that article the signature was a single specific thing that made them different from everyone else, whether it was wearing their watch over their shirtsleeve or tucking in their teeshirts or whatever, they had something that was theirs. Find something you like or something that works for you and make that your style. Straight up. I hit up the bars the other night wearing a light brown corduroy suit & vest with a puffy shirt similar to this: http://www.leatherworks.com/ETERNAL-LOVE/Ss.jpg'> I was all dressed up for some themed dance party that didn't happen, and I was expecting to get laughed at out at the bars. Instead I was getting insane compliments from the girls. Its not something I could do every night but I'm just backing this up. Wear something weird and they'll come a flockin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ment2 Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Originally posted by Weapon X It’s true that honesty is key. ... “Hi, my name is Weapon X. I’m a pig, and really, I just want to get into your pants.” ... we didn’t “hook up” little bit of a contradiction if you're trying to give advice on how to get laid. to be honest, i dont buy a lot of this shit. maybe its because im a high school kid and shit, but i see the assholes that lie, cheat and play girls like they're expendable material posessions get all the pussy. and some girls seem to think that if you're a pompus dickhead there's some reason for it, like you know something they dont, and they let you get away with it. hopefully thats not how it goes beyond high school, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted May 31, 2004 Author Share Posted May 31, 2004 FUD: That's exactly why. Highschool is a whole other beast. The key to getting laid in highschool is either pretending to not give a shit or not giving a shit exactly. Theres a difference between being arrogant and acting like you have a chip on your shoulder and playing girls and treating them like shit. Women don't WANT to be treated like shit, but they put up with it because they don't know better. I used to act like a stuck up asshole too, I didn't give a shit, I came to class every friday with a coke bottle filled with southern comfort. But when it came down to it, I treated the women I was with like queens, and they loved me for it. The key is to act like you don't give a shit and then show women you have a sensitive side. Yes guys that play girls get a lot of action, but its short lived, once the females, especially in highschool find out and talk, its over. They talk like a flock of birds, you'll never live it down... It also helps if you're good in bed. We'll get to that around lesson 6 or so... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duh-rye-won Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 :king:Milton your profound commentary on the matter of geting your dick wet is both informative and inspiring to us all. well done. Milton... CODENAME: PIMPBAT TITLE: Sexual Educator of People Like Tease Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuck muni Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 "I treated the women I was with like queens, and they loved me for it. The key is to act like you don't give a shit and then show women you have a sensitive side." thats good advice right there...and if your after a specific chick be hella nice to her friends too...when they all get their little girl gossip goin and your name gets brought up you should get positive feedback of course my alcoholism and drug dealin isnt a plus for chicks...act hard but treat girls nice..they like to see that sensitive side shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Whoppie Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 hmm http://www.gunterwoodson.com/Images/Ecuador/Quito/what%20the%20fuck.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 So basically, we've come to the conclusion that the easiest way to get laid is to be respectful and show an interest in the girl... A real crack team we've got here, guys..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T=E=A=S=E Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 get rich = pussy flocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v58/GnomeToys/My%20Pictures/fright.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaCosaNostra Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Originally posted by Dr. Dazzle A real crack team we've got here, guys..... hahaha Milton: You kept trying to get me to peepthis thread... Here I am. What's hilarious about this is that it was about 10 30 or so on a Saturday night, and I'm sure you wanted me to read the part about LEAVING. :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Finally.... a tread that should have been made a long time ago. Nice work Milton, some of these things need to be said for the sake of our 'less-with-it' brethen. here's some brief tips to help out: feel free to expand on them if you want - SIMLE! - seriously you cold hearted weasels... the smile is one of those things that should be obvious but people do not understand just how important it is. When you catch a girls eyes, you have a split second to keep them and if you loose that first look, you'll be fighting an uphill battle. Make sure you lock eyes, and SMILE then look away. Dont stare like some drooling mongoloid, just long enough fir her to get the point. Then go back to whatever else you were doing and look back like 30 seconds later. If she's looking back too... you're in like Kilo. - DONT COLD CALL - You always need some kind of introduction or a common interest to move things along. You cant just walk up and be like 'so... you like girlie things?' Here's one I used... I saw a girl with a camera hanging off her wrist so I grabbed my buddies camera, same model, and hung it off my wrist then went and stood right next to her. She looked at my camera and I made her laugh on the spot right there. Simple... approach with something to connect you two and make it seem like she should be talking to you, not the 100 other guys who want her. - WATCH THE SHOES - yesh.... if you dont know this one already.... get steveaustin to tell you. - BE FUNNY BUT NOT A CLOWN - yeah... girls love to smile, girls love to laugh, everyone does. However... if you make her think you're joking the whole night, she will think you are joking when you try to kiss her too. Know when to move out of joker mode and into romantic/sleeze mode. Yeah... think like the french... part romance, part sleeze. A glass of wine doesnt hurt. - GIRLS LIKE FASHION - if you like girls, you have to know something about fashion. Yes I'm just stealing this bit from missKittin but it's true. Chances are the girl you want is a decent dresser, and her main 'acessory' is the guy she's standing with. yeah... it's sad but you gotta look the part or else you will not fit well with the girl. that's it for now.... excuse the typos I'm sure are all over this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earo 35 Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Originally posted by Vanity there's more to life than pussy yeah, but pussy is the largest part of it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted May 31, 2004 Author Share Posted May 31, 2004 Big Kilo, Thanks a million for that, I was just about to address the "what to do when you're out looking for chicks" And you blessed us with some gems. I'm waiting for Mr. Weapon X to bless this section too. Good timing buddy.. Lesson 3: THE HUNT IS ON Ahhh, so you decided to join us partiers for the night, eh? You're well groomed, well dressed, ready to get laid. What are you having boss, jack and coke for me if you don't mind. See that blonde in the corner by the bar, I think shes into your shit. We'll see, in due time, but now our drinks are ready, lets sit and discuss... The first 2 lessons were easy, the decisions were science not art. But now we get to the tricky part, the part which seperates the men from the boys, you have to actually go about getting laid. Remember in Lesson 2 we talked about creating an image. A good example is P. Diddy, maybe this isn't the image you personally want, but the man is never out of character, he is his image. If you're trying to date somebody, you need an image that is you, but if you're trying to sleep with somebody you can be whoever you want. Remember "I don't have an image I have an imagination..." I see you've ordered a Fruit Flavored Martini, please for the love of all things holy, don't ever to that again. Quick tip: When in doubt drink beer. Drinks with vodka are a womens playground, men drink whiskey. Long Islands are frat boy territory, and the only martini you should be drinking consists of gin and vermouth, and an olive. What you drink is part of your image, trust and old bartender on this one... Now that we are through with that, getting laid. Here is your assignment, you need to find a chick, any chick will do you're not going to be seeing her again. Walk up to her and say "excuse me miss, but I'd love to rub your body in sour cream and lick it off" then duck. She'll probably say something like "you pervert, get away." This is what we were aiming for. This is what rejection feels like, it's not so bad is it? Are you ready to try again? Understand this, you will be affraid or reluctant to meet women the first time you go out. The club will be busy and intimidating, she'll be "out of your league"(We'll get to this in a minute). Anyway, there are a million excuses. But we have to assess where we're at. If you talk to no women you will NOT GET LAID. Period. In poker theres a term called a free roll, this is where you have the best hand with cards to come which could improve your hand. You're free rolling because there's no where to go but up. When you walk into the club you're on a free roll, if nobody comes home with you you're no worse off than when you walked in, remember that, its key. Even if they all say no, you're not losing anything. Who should you approach? You assume that the very best looking ones are "out of your league." Let me tell you, this isn't baseball, there are no leagues. If you have confidence and follow the plan, she will be happy to talk to you. Thats my word son! Any woman who is not obviously there with a man is fair game. And dating is a contact sport meaning the more people you contact the better you'll do. While you're deciding have fun, or at least pretend to have fun, like weapon x said if you're standing on the wall staring at women you will get less play than a third string quarterback in the playoffs. Keep your drinks full and the conversation lively. Play pool, darts, whatever, just keep busy. This is part of the free roll, if nothing else you can say you went out and had fun with your friends, getting laid is a bonus. The key her is not to seem desperate, women can smell desperation and its a terrible terrible smell. Don't be that guy, get out have some fun... (Lesson 2.2 is coming tomorrow) Milton, You got to get up get out and get something, don't let the days of your life pass by... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 alright... so we're moving on to the actual pickup stage: here's a few more tips (and expansions on what BigMilt said): What To Drink okay guys... you want to know a secret? You dont have to drink! it's true! In fact getting drunk will only hurt your chances of picking up a decent girl and not a 'last call' (more on that later). Drinks say a lot about a persons character, if those stupid internet tests are to be believed. Just figure that you dont want to look like a lush or drink something that will give you dragon breath. I go with the Rye&Ginger, and then later in the night, you can always just get a plain gingerale. POINT: If you get too drunk, you will shoot yourself in the foot. 'Last Calls' This is a situation you want to avoid at all costs. At last call a lot of bars flip on the lights and that can ruin a lot of the fun, however there's a much worse 'last call' that I'm going to introduce you too. You know there's always a drunk fat girl who's the last one standing at the end of the night ? Well the longer you stay in the bar, the less options you have untill she is your 'last call'. Figure that you dont want to wait around for her... so know when to call it a night. Sure you'll see a bunch of nasty girls and guys hooking up 10 minutes before the bar closes, but those are the types that you throw back. If Milton doesn't cover it.... My next one will be: How a gentleman seperates a girl from her retarded friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Originally posted by <KEY3> - BE FUNNY BUT NOT A CLOWN - yeah... girls love to smile, girls love to laugh, everyone does. However... if you make her think you're joking the whole night, she will think you are joking when you try to kiss her too. Know when to move out of joker mode and into romantic/sleeze mode. Yeah... think like the french... part romance, part sleeze. A glass of wine doesnt hurt. Excellent call. I need to take heed myself. I don’t know what it is, but when I drink a lot, I can’t help but be that sarcastic, witty guy who can’t stop joking. Whatever, though, I like being that guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Oh, and in your next post, you touch on the not drinking part. I have found that I have met some nice women by just nursing that pint, or playing pool, not paying no mind to drinking. If you need to drink to converse with someone, you’re hurtin mcgurtin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 bump for milton and the knowledge... try and get your head round this if you can bro... (sneaks current sit....) ive met a new girl who from her body language towards me seems to suggest something could happen. ie, footsie, hand holding, resting on my shoulder etc. from what ive gathered from her best mate who was to drunk to keep quiet is that she may have feelings for me and some other guy and i think shes having trouble deciding what she wants. which leaves me thinking that i want to pursue this but i dont want to wait around and get hurt again as she inevitably decides against the sneakster. what do you reckon Team 12oz Love Doctors? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effyoo Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 i say you have to go for it, sneak. you don't want to just stand aside and let other dude win by default. its ovbious she likes you, now you just have to prove that you're the better choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Originally posted by Milton Who should you approach? You assume that the very best looking ones are "out of your league." Let me tell you, this isn't baseball, there are no leagues. If you have confidence and follow the plan, she will be happy to talk to you. Thats my word son! Any woman who is not obviously there with a man is fair game. I agree with some or all of the above statements. You know that really hot girl you see every time you go out with some fucking ugly fatass? HE went up and started talking to her at some point. YOU didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck Ya'll Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 There are a lot of different types of girls. One example is me and my best-friend. She's the princess type, and I'm not. She needs to be showered with gifts and attention, but too much attentions smothers me. She likes submissive guys, and I like them dominant. There's no way one set of rules can apply to everyone. One thing women do have in common is that they don't like self-effacing guys that complain about themselves and their lives, and don't do anything about it. Just be yourself, be respectful, and don't try too hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 http://www.eureka-i-found-it.com/textile/t00510x.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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