Alcoholism

[Sleazeside Heights]

realizing the reason i drink is because it numbs dealing with reality, an off switch in a sense. rather than deal with it in a clear mentality. Bugging about the future instead of just letting it happen. I see how impatient i am sometimes, and how I just can't shrug things off. work brings out a real mean streak in me that makes me want to dull it at the bar, but it also shows me the great qualities of myself that shine while sober. day and night. Struggling yet again, but taking personal inventory to determine what's going on in a very introspective way. a constant battle. I've been trying hard to make little goals and getting where I need to be. I've moved like 4 times this year, and again in a few months. Gotta deal with my health problems(another I've been ignoring through booze, ignorantly ignoring to shut out the realness of other heavy things coming down.) gotta take some tests and see if i'm ok. Just been feeling symptoms, and trying to cover them with booze. If they come back positive, I'll have to not drink for another month. That's fine, maybe it'll kick me into shape again, I just don't want it to be what it is. denial is a mofo. Just airing my dirty laundry...trying to get a better grasp on what's going on. It can be confusing, I'm sure you all know.

[morton]

From my personal experience, with the benefit of hindsight, I will posit that there is nothing confusing at all about the situation itself, only the interpretation.

 

Which is one of the thing I never liked about the 12 step program to be honest, there are some nice reflections in the work but is so often over hyped and over thought.

 

Best regards

[injury]

realizing the reason i drink is because it numbs dealing with reality, an off switch in a sense. rather than deal with it in a clear mentality.

 

sometimes i deeply miss being able to distract myself from reality... you're not alone in feeling this way.

[+plus+]

got drunk went bombing last night

been real emotional

friend hung himself in his fucking front yard

heart been racing all day, time for a break from the booze

[+plus+]

feel stupid for not trusting my gut instinct not to drink some nights

but once i start theres no stopping

 

shits fucked

[brothhalynch]

always chuggin cant stop

[theprotester]

Shit go +++. Found a friend giving it a go and had to call the ambo's n what not a couple of days ago. She has a kid and all.

 

Stay up.

[Highlife]

I'm debating going to a AA meeting but I don't think I can do it sober.

[theprotester]

Just don't be fucked up when you go. And for what it's worth, if that's where you're at right now, NA might be a better place to head to.

 

But we're all different.

[injury]

give it a shot, leave if you get uncomfortable.

it happens all the time.

[morton]

Just don't be fucked up when you go. And for what it's worth, if that's where you're at right now, NA might be a better place to head to.

 

But we're all different.

 

 

Here in the United States it is fine to go to a NA meeting under the influence, it is not allowed to bring paraphernalia or drugs into the meeting.

[theprotester]

That's kind of what I'm getting at.

 

Good looks, morton. Cheers.

 

theP

[interracial facial]

went to a meeting the other day for shits and giggles. it was alright. a drunk dude stumbled in and started interrupting people. that was the best part.

[shameless self promotion]

^classy fucking guy right there.

[ugene]

back in the program again, i have 55 days. what are yalls views on racking and shit, kinda lame question but stealing is a big warning sign to me that may lead me to old behaviors

[PITOFZOMBIES]

I have more or less quit stealing shit in sobriety. Ethically, i see no problem stealing from massive chain stores. Racking overpriced clothes from Nordstom, or bullshit from Walgreens... I don't feel bad for taking from them.

But when you get popped and (hopefully) cut loose, don't be hella bitter about the court dates in your future and start drinking out of spite.

If you're serious about getting sober, you'll be cautious with all your decisions. Because you even have to ask, and expressed concerns about it, I'd say gather up a solid 6 months and then re-evaluate the situation. You might find your desire to rack has waned, even if just a little.

I will add that I made some risky judgment calls early in my sobriety. Went on a road trip with new people to SF, where my problem started. It worked out though... and there ended up not being any close calls either.

 

Congrats on the 55 days nonetheless... that's a solid chunk. Keep at it. Good luck

[injury]

@UG - for me, any racking i do (less and less now that i've got a decent job) supports graffiti, which supports my sobriety. maybe it's the same for you.

 

POZ's got good thoughts on it.

[interracial facial]

^classy fucking guy right there.

yea it was a boring meeting that time so, whateva...

theres this meeting here that only 5-10 old people attend. and bums occasionally. but yea. that was the one.

[ugene]

thanks for the feedback yall, i can honestly say i have no guilt racking, but i thought the whole "secrets keep us sick" would apply to this. preciate it

[Sleazeside Heights]

I never steal anything, it's just not worth it. Not gonna risk anything for some bullshit I could easily pay for. But for some people, that rush you get when doing it is probably somewhat similar to the feeling you get when you drink, a rush, a sense of feeling alive. Your body craves the excitement and the rush of endorphins. Another thing to be careful of, and try to not do, much like trying not to drink. take a step back and examine why you want to do it, the reasons behind it, and what you could do instead in a more positive choice.

[morton]

I could give two shits about the profit margin of the vast majority of stores, I do however have a high regard for my personal freedom.

 

Recognition of consequence is not a negative thing in all cases, it boggles my mind to think of the sort of risks I took when I was active.

 

One of the questions that being sober raises is the antidote to a "what if I die tomorrow" approach to life, we are forced to ponder "what if I live a long life?"

[theprotester]

I'm not broke these days, so I don't steal.

[redeyedanimal]

I'm not broke these days, so I don't steal.

 

This. If I ever have to steal to eat again, I will. Not just for fun, shits dumb.

[CILONE/SK]

I thought about this. I have stole before, mostly little stuff when I was way younger, but for the most part, stealing has never really been something I have been down with. If I wanted something, I usually hustled one way or another to get it.

 

CIL = Hustler

[Sleazeside Heights]

relevant.

 

 

Medicate yourself,

You'll feel much better

Take those drugs again,

They'll take you higher

Smoke your cigarettes for stress

Drink more just to feel less

This must feel like paradise

But better

 

As if any of those squareheads

Know better

They wish they have the guts,

Glory and power

If only they could think less

Lay the pages of their book to rest

Keep our little minds open,

Feel better

 

We'll drink to this today,

Until it goes away

We'll pray and feel ashamed

Until another day

It's better that we're tamed

That pain will leave you lame

I'd rather be good and numb

Before I'm maimed

 

You're stubborn like your parents

And their mothers

You're selfless, sometimes rude

But it don't matter

They all think you can do no wrong

You've just been unlucky, you've been wronged

You're waiting for your time

Things will be brighter

 

They dose those schoolboys and their mothers

I'm sure they even dose each other

What's the worse that can happen, tell me brother

Why not throw in the towel and have another?

[injury]

this time of year is no longer my favorite.

stay up friends

[SPORTO]

LIFE ISN'T AS SHIT AS IT SOMETIMES APPEARS, THOUGH FOR SOME IT MAY GENUINELY BE. PROBLEM IS IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE HAND YOU HAVE BEEN DEALT & DON'T EVEN ATTEMPT PLAYING THE GAME, YOUR GONNA SIT AT THE TABLE OF LIFE, FINISH YOUR WHOLE BOTTLE OF BOOZE & LEAVE A BROKE & BITTER BASTARD.

[SPORTO]

& WHILE IM SPOUTING MY SELF REALIZED SAGE-ICAL SHIT. FOR ANY NEWBIES/YOUNGER DRINKERS, THE DAYS YOU START WAKING UP & HAVING THAT FIRST DRINK JUST TO STAY FUCKN SANE, NEVER MIND THE SHAKES, IS THE DAY THE MADNESS STARTS ITS HOMERUN, & THEN ONLY YOU CAN GET YOURSELF OUT.

[theprotester]

The larger the text, the more relevant the statement.

[TAXMAN79]

I Mean no offense by this but, I don't understand the anti depressant/Xanax combo. DO you legitimately need them or is it to compensate for the lack of alcohol? My best friend is goin down fast. He just got off 2 years probation for booze related offenses and he didn't have a drop for the whole time (kind of). He got a Dr to give him Xanax and an anti depressant. I have known him 30 years. he does not need them, especially at the doses he got. .5mg 3 times a day and then a full mg for whenever he needs extra plus the antiD. He flat out told me this was to compensate while he was on probation. he went off probation and now he is crushing a 30 rack a day plus at least 4.5 mgs of Xanax as well as antidepressants. he cant remember a conversation he had 20 minutes ago slurs to the point you cant understand him, no job, no money, no car/licence, no place to live in 60 days. I'm pushing him to go into a program but IDK if it is gonna happen. Do I need to let him completely fail or what can I do?

 

I went to his house yesterday after work and he was passed out with the front door open. I stole all his beer. I think he stole his mom's car to get more.

 

I see my uncle in him. I watched him drink himself to death. it almost destroyed my mom.

 

He is steppin his game up now!! in the hosp with acute pancreatitus.. calls me from the bed to get him weed cause they won't give him enough pain killers and his girl wont sneak in booze. I told him I give him 18 months and he said enough with the lecture are u gonna get me smoke or not?